Amazing Animals!

I discovered that Himself has bony elbows, my shins are pointy, and speedcameras think His Lordship is slow. Or at least, that's what the operator of said camera told us when we asked her as we walked on by.

The dragons are in mildly-psychotic mode, bobbing at anything. Tsam will even bob when he can HEAR Kyle bobbing in the tank below him. Amazing! I did play this to my advantage last night, Tsam sat on my knee and I asked him questions. "Would you like to hop on my shoulder?" nodnodnod "Would you like to hop on the back of the chair?" nodnodnod "Would you like to come down now?" nodnodnod "Are you a clever boy?" nodnodnod! Bal is growing fast according to His Lordship and his colours are coming out rather well! Bal's plants are growing and I've given him two bendy sticks to bounce and climb on. He hops like a little frog!

The bathroom is looking glorious already. Far from finished, but the Granite Grey coupled with bright silver mirrory tiles and the Cool Aqua green is heaven. The hideous green suite has been tamed and soothed by the new colours like Orpheus's Lyre to the animals. I carefully ripped up the disgusting pink carpet, having found that the basin is on top of it and found big wet patches underneath. Mmmm, stinky. The rubberised underside has got holes in.

Spyyk has forgotten he's only got one arm now and is scooting around on the exposed remaining bone of the other one like everything is normal. He's also been spoilt rotten with extra treats of ham. His new drainpipe tunnel has become a firm favourite and he spends all day going in reverse around the corners...

Quote for the Day: "Atheism is a religion like not collecting stamps is a hobby." - Google Suggestions

Frozen Food for Thought

I caught myself wondering when I found this link: http://www.good.is/post/picture-show-you-are-what-you-eat/?GT1=48001

Your fridge really is the window to your soul, isn't it? I took a photo of mine to see what it said about this household.

Top and second shelf: Owned by our batchelor, George. He's got a tub of Flora light and a packet of Leerdammer cheese. His way of life is "the hotter the better" and regularly scalds our tastebuds with his chilis - we bought him some superhotsauce made with the Dorset Naga for Christmas - and I swear, he puts it in EVERYTHING. I caught him putting some on a quiche with baked beans. For such a small man, he eats a lot. I can only imagine the chilis keep his metabolism so high... Oh, and the right drawer contains his half cucumber. Go figure.

Middle shelf: Hank's. Hank is braving the culinary world (especially now he's got a girlfriend - he can do a mean kungsour sauce!) so we sometimes see bags of lettuce and packs of mince. It's in it's default stage at the moment - Delmonte fruit and Muller. Quick and easy snacks, on the slightly healthier side.

Our shelves: Very cheese orientated lately, His Lordship has taken up a liking for it. We've got a mozzarella ball, some plain white cheddar, some Jarlsburg and some Ilchester Mexicana - orange cheddar with chilis in! (Great for toasty sammiches by the way.) We've also got ham, eggs, garlic mayo and coleslaw. In the broken topdoor shelf there's some pepperoni and a jar of peach and banana babyfood for the gecko (I need to turn that into proper food actually - will do that soon!) and the bottom has juice and the white cheddar cheese. The left drawer has gem lettuce, carrots and beets - perfect fridge for a ham and egg salad!

The freezer is a different story - practically empty besides our shopping. I do believe the second drawer has Hank's mince in, but that's it. We've got chicken, mince, fish and sausages, potato wedges, sweetcorn, peas, carrots, beans and brocolli - I think there may be an emergency lasagne at the back. There's also a tub of lemon sorbet (to go with passionfruit and banana for pudding methinks!) as well as bags of mice and beefheart, trays of bloodworm and a Vitalite tub with Green Flavour Gecko-cubes in. I'm making some yellow ones to add to it later.

So yes - there's an insight to our fridgefreezer. Just in case you were wondering - yes, both Hank and George earn more than I do. Hehehehe!

Snail Mail

I don't know if you got my email Mum, but here's a copy for you anyway!

I sent you a flower by snail mail.

I think the snail might have got hungry on the way though, sorry!

With much love from, Longthing and Thingthing.

Taunton's Terrifying Trial of Tuesday Trains

Tuesday had been one of those days. It should have been simple: go out to Taunton, see an advisor, get home. Having discussed it, we decided it probably wasn't a good route for me to drive and as none of us had ever heard of Lower Henlade, I quickly planned my journey by train and taxi. Simple!

Apparently not. I arrive at the station on time and wait. The train is running a little late, nothing unusual there. Got to Castle Cary safely, pleased to see the connection is running on time and make the switch following the announcer as there are no boards. Castle Cary smells particularly fetid at the moment by the way, lots of farming in the area. Happily trundling along on the train... only to look round in surprise 15 minutes later as we discover we're pulling back into the station we just CAME FROM. (Related pic: Pixdaus Demotivationals)

As the announcer had announced the wrong train and there were several of us now back at our original platform due to this mixup, the stationmaster agreed to ship us all by taxi. Fortunately my adviser was good natured as I rang ahead to let him know I'd be late.

Half an hour late for my appointment we arrived in Taunton and the taxi offered to take me down to Henlade as he was going thataway home. Turns out Henlade isn't the same place. The staff at Blackbrook's pub weren't exactly helpful, ringing a taxi company, telling me it was the only one local and it'd be at least an hour for another cab. I flipped a spare when I was told they'd never heard of Mount Somerset. Fortunately just next door there was a very helpful Premier Inn! Not only had they heard of it, they knew where it was. Better still, two of the assistants set to ringing up taxis - "I got one for 15 mins!" "Got one for 10!". Marvellous stuff girls. AND I got a free cup of tea.

To my general amusement, Mount Somerset was literally around the corner - a large, victorianesque pile of a mansion. Straight in, straight out, same taxi back to the station, nicely in time for my 12:55 train.

Except apparently that one wasn't stopping in Castle Cary at 12:55. They come every three hours today, and next one's at 14:22. Carefully I drew a breath and kept my temper. Thankfully I have a good book and a few pennies for lunch in my pocket, so I ensconced myself on the correct platform and purchased a tuna and sweetcorn sandwich. Or at least, that's what the wrapper said. Yon sandwich turned out to be CHICKEN and sweetcorn.

With a sigh (as let's face it, that's no hardship really) I consumed my sandwich and caught my train back to C-Cary. Whereupon we were notified of a delay and my connection train wouldn't be there. The next one would be at 16:10. Oh, nearly two hours, stranded on Stinky Central Station. Wuuuunderful. Once more I found a tough metal seat to place my already aching arse and while away more of my time.

As a rule, I don't mind children. But this one I bear exception to. For a start he was a mouth breather "scccchhh huuuuhhhh ... scccchhh huuuuhhhh" and snotty nosed "snrrrrrrk", but the Hula Hoops got me. Someone seems not to have taught this child to eat properly. Not only did we have the openmouthed "crunkcrunkcrunk" (I could have lived with that) we also had verbal appreciation "unnnnhhh" with each and every single one. Followed and interspersed with copious lipsmacking "tchicktchicksmack". I had to go stand outside in the stinky wind and rain to get away from the incessant "schhhhh snurk unnnng crunk tchicksmacksmack". Having got soaked in the wet, I was pleased to note the little grotesque had completed his treat (as was the poor shuddering chap hiding behind his Times in the corner) and I settled back in the warm.

Until the juicyfruit chewing gum came out.

Dear gods preserve me. This child has braces for craig's-sake! So now we had all of the above sounds, coupled with slurps of gum being pulled off metalwork and oy... bubbles too. It makes me shudder to recall. (Related Pic: Email handaround - sling me a link.)

Never mind. I got home in the end.

To discover the show I've been looking forwards to for months has just cancelled at short notice and that the gasman has declared our heating system to be the worst possible rating.

I'm going to go to bed now. Worst that can happen is I can fall out.

Geckos and Gubbage

I recently received an extremely minute baby crested gecko, a "flame" colour morph. It changes colour too, between chocolate orange to creamy beiges! Wee beastie has slightly brighter colours now, as shed yesterday.

Not sure what to call him/her yet, but I was thinking perhaps Bal. Short for Ballista Sauron Stickyfeet.

This breaks down into multiple meanings by the way - Ballista because s/he jumps like there's explosives in those little muscles, Sauron because the eyes are just like the one from Lord of the Rings (terrible movie) and Stickyfeet as Cresties are aboreal geckos (self descriptive.) Better yet, when spoken aloud it sounds funny - "Blister sore on sticky feet!"

What's your opinion? Also s/he pooped on my hand today.

Word of the Day: Gubbage - A word to describe introductory emails, signup information, password reminders, security confirmations and the like. Useful stuff usually buried at the bottom of old inboxes. Use: "It'll be hidden, so you'll have to look through all your gubbage." tags: junkmail, confirmation, signups, introdutions, emails, gubbige, gubbidge, gubbadge
Watch for it on UrbanDictionary.com!

↑Ξ©ĦļΣ ЯΔπ†

Here's His Lordship in Simpson form! He says: "Don't I look stunningly casual yet simplisticly handsome, even in my Simpson form?" May I point out, this is someone whom occasionally catches sight of himself in reflective surfaces and goes "yeeeaaaah." He also does the two handed pointing. Personally, I think his Simpsonian visage does him justice and is suitably geeky!

Windows 7: Top 10 features to look forward to - A response from His Lordship. (Article to be seen on http://lifehacker.com/5078582/top-10-things-to-look-forward-to-in-windows-7)

While perusing the interwebs we happened across the site boasting the 'top 10' things we, the almighty and wonderful computer consumer public, want.

Let’s be fair. I'll set out this rant with some background history.

When Win XP arrived, I pooh-poo'd it as worthless, over-complicated computerised junk. Over time I have come to terms with the fact that I now use XP as it has become the standard *sigh...* So when Windows Vista (see also: "cash cow") came about I instantly took a dislike to it, as being a somewhat techie nerd I was appalled by the system requirements. After having used this wondrous new system I... still hated it and, to this day, still use the lesser of two evils, XP.

Most people I know still use XP, except for a few blind fools suffering from the technological version of ‘ooh shiny’ syndrome: “It’s the latest. It’s new. It must be better than everything else simply because!” Well F*** that! Microsoft have already had money off of me more than once, as the saying goes: "Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice…" Ya get the idea.

So here comes Windows 7. Yip and may I say "Eeee." Due to retail at close to somewhere in the region of seventwobuhzillion pounds. (And that’s not accounting for the new computer you’ll need to run it no doubt!)

Enough, I digress; back to the point at hand. 10 things we have all been ignorant enough not to know that we needed previously, but now know we need them because we’ve been told we do.

Number 10:
Vista introduced a sidebar full of useful bits'n'bobs, Win7 will see the sidebar become a collection of free floating gadgets. As an XP user when I saw the vista gadgets, I liked what I saw. And now have Vista Rainbar running happily, complete with free floating gadgets.

Conclusion: I already have this feature. Win7 can go suck. (Get your free Rainbar here! http://gavatx.deviantart.com/art/Vista-Rainbar-V4-81263212)

Number 9:
An overhaul of calculator, paint and wordpad (and the removal of an OS native picture gallery and movie editor). Although IBF has come up with valid reason for some of the supposed changes in these features, quite frankly who cares about a mortgage calculator! Calculator: it’s a calculator. For anything more complex: use a spreadsheet. Which brings me to the other parts of this: Wordpad. Really? I can't think of the last time I actually used Wordpad. Hint here: OpenOffice. Nuff said.

Conclusion: Win7 can go suck. (Get your free OpenOffice here! http://www.openoffice.org),

Number 8:
Win7 will incorporate "intelligent battery saving features" enable your laptop batteries to last longer. I myself am typing this up on a laptop, albeit a huge, table-esque laptop and, I'm sorry windows 7, but I already have "intelligent battery saving features". I can right now pull the plug from my battery charger and before I have even let go I know my laptop would have turned off various unessential things, lowered screen brightness, etc etc…

Conclusion: We already have this. Win7 can go suck!

Number 7:
Windows 7 will have a ‘single click’ ability to swap between WiFi networks. I’m not even going to rant over this. Every laptop (and most desktops) I know of have this feature.

Conclusion: Not even worth ranting about. Win7 can go suck.

Number 6:
“You can decide what icons you have on the system tray!” Ditto 7, this is so irritating a statement to make. Win XP can, and always has been able to do, exactly this. True, it may not be an idiot-proof selection of various options and the layperson most likely doesn’t know about it, but the fact is, it can be done. This very machine has about half its system tray icons hidden at my choosing.

Conclusion: Win7 is beginning to take the mickey and I’m getting angry at the assumption that I am thick. Win7 can well and truly go suck.

Number 5:
"Get more out of User Account Controls." This is of course is a bit of Windows Backpeddling. Vista had a glaring huge problem, requiring Administrator Authentication for almost any action, including opening Notepad. Microsoft made a balls up and are attempting to correct it - and are now making a feature of it?!

Conclusion: Quite frankly, I’ve not once had any such issue with my Win XP installation. Do I need to confirm that with Admin? No… ? Ok, I’ll keep typing. Win7 can be confirmed by an administrator to go suck.

Number 4:
I had to read #4 repeatedly to realise that MS are apparently telling users that they can share stuff in a shared folder! Wait... what? I can do that right here on XP (and Win 2000… 98, and probably 95…) Great feature Gais, I can haz bucket too?

Conclusion: Win7 can check in my shared documents for the file named "go.suck".

Number 3:
I will at this juncture add that we're a BIG believers in Open Source and Copy Left; a shining example being the Linux operating systems. Why inform you of this? Well, #3 is Windows introducing a feature which has been quite standard on Linux for some time: The ability to use an extra "space" of desktop. Win7 allows users to "stretch" their work environment. Linux achieves the same by allowing its users to jump (with a single click) to one of just about any number of separate desktop environments. So, congratulations to MS for including a feature ripped off from a freely available and competing Operating System and then charging money for it! As well as this, there will be a new "gesture driven feature" to minimise all but the open selected window. Personally I’m already happy with the "Minimise All" feature that Win XP has.

Conclusion: Win7 can go and download the freely available Go Suck.

Number 2:
Win7 will start up faster, and a good 20% faster than Win Vista. Win Vista only takes 50% longer to start up than Win XP! So that’s a gain, no, a loss of 30% start up time?! Ooooh goody, I can barely contain my sarcasm. Let's face it folks, windows is a fat and bloated P.O.S and after a year (unless you re-install it anew) slows down enough that “making a coffee while the computer starts up” turns into “going out into town for a coffee, picking up a few bits at the shops, dropping into the pub on the way home and getting back before the computer starts up”.

Conclusion: Win7 can eventually, once it's booted, go suck.

Number 1:
I’ll make this point in English: Win7 will have a program launch bar on which you can have icons of programs to start them with 1 click, not even having to bother with the almighty strain of using the start menu. OH Good Lord! I must have Win7 installed because I already have this! A bar of icons for my most used programs that launch with naught but a solitary click of my trusty mouse pointer! "Huzzaaah!" I hear you all cry. So Microsoft, what’s the deal here? You're introducing me to a feature which I’ve been using for years. Needless to say, I’m a little confused. Is this not the same as walking up to a stranger in the street and advising them that breathing is a good and useful thing?

Conclusion: Win7 can right royally and completely go suck.

Overall conclusion of this overly expressive rant: I already have most of what this "technological miracle" is offering us and the tiny bits which I don’t have I actually don’t give a toss about, not in the slightest…

Windows 7 is a marketing exercise from a company that has long since seen its heyday. It will be peddled to the masses (and no doubt bought up by the same dribbling idiots that suffer from "ooh shiny" syndrome that made Vista lucrative). Its interface will no doubt be dumbed down to a point that anyone with an IQ above 50 will have to undergo a lobotomy just to be able to use it. (IBF: Well, they do advertise on TV that six year olds can do it.) Quite frankly, Windows Vista was too much. A spit-polished turd. Windows 7 brings me to a point of exasperation whereby I can no longer believe that people still fall for the same crap over again and pay money for it.

Blargh!?!

I am frankly amazed! Blargh is a real word accepted by the MIT - "The opposite of ping [...] an exclamation indicating that one has absorbed or emitted a quantum of unhappiness."

My blargh has been with the weather. Yesterday was pounding with rain. Today's blast of sunshine allowed us to go out, get safely to town and watch a film. And then tip water on our heads.

On a plus side we did hide from the weather in Tesco and did some yummy shopping. Next time you're there, pick up the new chocolate muffins - they're chocolaty sponge with soft plain muffin coating and a liquidy chocolate centre! It's like all my favourite cakes in one. Muffins, chocolate sponge and profiteroles. I also got my favourite icecream, B&J's Half Baked, another superfavourite. It's got cookie dough flavour AND fudge brownie mixed together.

His Lordship says he remembered to switch off Spyyk's new tank light. I need to get a timer for that thing, poor boy had a couple of um, bright nights...

Amazed by Adverts...

Spyyk has settled into his new tank very well over the last week, and is enjoying his tunnel, ducking in and out, peeping round the Y bends and reversing out of the L end. He's even figured out he can stick his tail out one end and curl enough to stick his head out of the other section in a big C shape!

http://gangstaname.com/pet_name.php - NSFW, very funny. Tsam is "Round Poo" - appropriate, and Kuleana Graeme Squishee is "Toodle Jiggles" - perfect!

My other laugh recently is television advertising. In the gym I was aware of a new dieting tablet being shown called "Alli". Swiftly followed up by a KFC advert. Timing: enjoy the feeling of losing weight, then have a guilt free grease bucket! Mind you, at home the other night I was watching a programme about pro-ana websites and the awful effects it has on girls as young as 10. (Pro-ana sites have mottos like "Being thin is more important than being healthy." and " Thou shall not eat without feeling guilty." One poor girl died age 19, weighing less than 4.5 stone and couldn't even lift her own head.) However, I'm not sure if it was supported or somewhat ridiculed by the adverts surrounding it. In one single block of adverts, I counted 8, yes EIGHT different food adverts and one about suntan lotion. Ironic or just bad taste?

Related Quote of the Day: "An advertising agency is 85 percent confusion and 15 percent commission." - Fred Allen

Tsilly Tsam

A little clip to keep you folks entertained whilst I'm busy painting the bathroom a delicate shade of green. His Lordship has worked hard at sanding it down, we've put the white undercoat over the biggest two walls and I'm applying the Cool Aqua shade now. It matches the suite perrrrrrfectly!

So yes, for your amusement this is Tsam, my little boy beardie, playing one of his favourite games: Eggbox! Watch out for Kyle in the background. Silly boy.

Baffling Bank...

There's been rumours ever since the new boss came down that there would be staff being moved. Being as we're running on minimal staff anyway I hadn't expected it to be our branch, and if it would be our branch, even the part timers figured it would be a part timer lost.

But no, it's me.

Thankfully, I'd worked with the new boss on Saturday (I almost didn't go because no-one told me I was working) and he decided he likes me - also I'm now too valuable a member to lose/fire because I can do the concerns systems as well as cashier and prospecting - so I'm being shifted into a different branch where they need extra cover. It seems they're getting clever with the staffing rotas and percentages to keep on more staff, so whilst they "got rid" of a lot of bosses, all they've done is move them around and put them on contract. It seems the idea is if they can't manage targets, then they've got a viable excuse to get rid of them on the probationary contract. Clever, if inconvenient for all involved. To make it even more efficient, they've also moved all the target goalposts; making the targets higher and the products have a lower point value.

But enough of the boring.

Spyyk is doing remarkably well, the remaining dead skin is sloughing off perfectly and his new tank is developing at a good speed - black sand and drainpipe in, terracotta pots and plants set up already.

I bought my tile paint online and am waiting for it to arrive, my mirror tile transfers turned up and my Cool Aqua paint is ready to roll. Well, roll-erbrush. My lovely bathmat is tucked away in the airing cupboard and I'll be looking at new flooring over the next couple of days - removing the old mats to wash them showed the carpet to have black mould in various places. I'm not surprised, but I do need to get rid of that carpet.

His Lordship says "I love you as much as lemon torte from Cafe Rouge... and then a little bit more."

Charity Cheese

We went to a charity gig for the hospital last night - I went in cobalt blue and black, His Lordship in a snazzy midnight blue silk shirt. We spent a great time there with a couple of friends and came home around 2am with some expensive cheese in my handbag and in our pockets, wielding a large sesame seeded baguette at any challengers for our cheese!

I do like spending a day mooching with my dragons. Tsam was busy sleeping, so I've had a nice lazy day with Kyle. She's been shooting around like a mad thing and deliberately went for a soggy poo on His Lordship's sock when he wasn't paying enough attention. She's had a grand time and is currently going to sleep behind the waste paper basket. Pic: "No pictures!"

Sadly Benny and Spyyk the axolotls have been scrapping again - poor old Spyyk has lost an arm but is doing well after some emergency surgery to remove the dead tissue. I was quite shocked by this - it's been a long time since the last argument and this one was worse I'm afraid. He's under observation and treatment in a hospital tank, recovering fast I'm pleased to say. We'll also be making arrangements to seperate them. Haven't decided if we're rehoming Ben or buying a new tank yet.