Real Dragons!

Kyle has had a wonderful day today. She took a stroll around her tank (as she is occasionally inclined to do) and discovered her hatchday present from back in May. Delighted, she's decided she DOES like it after all and spent the ENTIRE day sat on her little Dragon's Hoard feeling like a proper fire-breathing, proud dragon!

Tsam's quite content too - his best fun was yesterday going for a walk in Sherborne park. He hopped out of his basket and happily trotted along the paving slabs besides the little stream and waterfall, stopping at the edge. "Oooh." he says. "I know what THAT is!" He leapt into the water and shuddered - it was a bit colder than his baths at home. He had a nice splash under the waterfall, a quick wee and hopped back out to bask in the sunshine. Heaven.

Did you know...

His Lordship was sat looking at his thumb, clearly having read this little articlette. Curious, I leaned over and read what it could be that caused him to look so carefully at his thumb:

I nearly KILLED myself laughing. He snapped out of it, finished reading and went bright red.

We haven't laughed so much in ages.

Long Live Learning!

I had a marvellous flashback to my schooldays today - and just how NAFF my school really was. Our Geography ceiling fell in and knocked Mr Edwards out, followed by the science ceiling a couple of days later... One end of our school was sealed off and sold to a school for problem kids that broke in and stole stuff. Our main hall impressively set on fire and flooded itself on the same evening. My first years of IT were on BBC PCs - green and black screen with dot matrix printers and eight inch floppy disks... (Pic: Wikicommons) After that, it was dodgy old Windows computers with no mouse balls. I fail to understand what value the ball from a mouse has, but everyone stole them! And the rest of my years in IT (and History... and German, come to think of it) was a shockingly fast rotation of staff members rapidly leaving. I recall one of our smaller history teachers got hospitalised when she sat on a desk and it collapsed...

Whilst school didn't exactly instill a love of learning into me, my family did - I enjoy finding out interesting new things: I learned today that fire as we know it, the flame itself, is a glowing hot gas released by the combustion of the fuel itself... And to those who say you can't drink tea with chopsticks, I say "PAH!" You can if you're in SPACE.

But here's a thought for you folks - if the clip below creeps you out, you might just be suffering from "consecotaleophobia", otherwise known as the phobia of chopsticks! Here's something to go with your chopstick tea - some Japanese kitkats in an entire kitkat kaleidoscope of weird flavours! Enjoy, and always remember to work hard.

"The world owes you nothing. It was here first." - Mark Twain

Building Beds and Lovely LOLs?

*phew* I am BAKED. His Lordship Senior has decided he wants to randomly gift us with a new kitchen and bathroom. Unfortunately, due to the mental way this house is wired (see late last year's bathroom fan fiasco) we need to rip up our bedroom floorboards to be able to access the wiring and make it go in the right direction.

So, I fished out my trusty allen key and took the bed to pieces, dragged it through and put it together in the spare (junk) room. His Lordship came to see where I'd got to; I grinned proudly and told him "I made the bed!" Literally. He couldn't believe I'd taken it all through and rebuilt it. (I think he forgot about my prowess with flatpack and the fact that we'd built the bed in the first place. Or rather, he'd kindly held bits still whilst I built it.) I do like making things...

So I'm making LoLizards - the reptile's answer to LolCats!

Ravenous and Roving Reptiles

The cutest thing happened today! I was watching Terry sticking to his window, and wiggled my finger across the front. For the first time, he tried to bite the strange white blob as it squeaked on the glass - so hard he fell off! I fell about laughing and dashed downstairs to grab the butterworms box. As he snuck around the little lilly, I dropped one of the smaller, luminescent yellow grubs onto the ground; Terry's eyes widened jet black. His head slowly tipped for a better look and POW! He had the worm and was shaking it like a mental terrier, battering it into submission and then chewing it side to side like the reel on a typewriter. Shluck shluck shluck - and the worm was gone. Nummnumnumlickity!

After the gecko had his lunch, we took a walk in the sunshine with the dragons to get ours from little Tescos. We picked up some fresh bread, peppers and salami for sandwiches and picked some of my home grown rocket and lettuce to finish it off when we got back. Kyle had decided she'd had enough of all this cheerfulness and made a mighty leap through the kitchen door, stalking off home in an inexplicable sulk. Which reminds me - my sister has made these awesome shoes!

Tsam, on the other hand, thought this was the best thing ever (as he's often prone to doing). We had a nice bask on the step before hopping down into the daisies for an exciting outdoors poop. (Him, not me.) This was followed by a slink through the grass and stopped to admire the rhubarb leaflets under the big red stalks. I advised him it was probably not a good idea to eat one, so he had a tentative lick and agreed with me; it didn't taste that nice. From there we had a good look at the radishes, an appraisal of the peas and a disgusted face at the number of onion stalks growing, so we left there and went to run amongst the raspberries. There weren't any ready yet, the gooseberries looked too small and prickly for words and the strawberries were all green. He gave me a look that quite clearly said "What kind of a gardener ARE you if you can't even have fruit ready for me when I want it?" We walked round the shed with Tsam checking it for leaks by sticking his nose in every slat...

Suddenly - a BIRD! The female blackbird looked at Tsam and Tsam looked at her. They both looked at me. She pooped and flew off, so Tsam and I came inside to relax with something a little less scary - my blogging and Tsam to dig in his cave. He does like to make it nice and comfy when he's been away such a long time! I wonder if she was checking her tweets?

Here's another cute eating scenario: This is Zac and Wheezie - the world's oldest and healthiest twin siamese dragons!

Word of the day: "Bobsnug" - from Garrett, describing Tsam attempting to assert his authority whilst huddling down in a comfy hug. Needless to say, it wasn't especially successful, but it was sweet!

Busy Bumble Bees...

Sorry for the language, but this lovely aquatic picture had me howling with laughter. He's very interested in that anemone - but look very closely, and keep looking... It takes a while...

If when you see it, you don't like it, feel free to put it through the webpage shredder: by clicking here and typing in the web page!

I had quite a busy day today; I went and watered the fruit, veg and pots with the tumbledrier and the boiler... I ought to explain - the tumbledrier is a condenser, so it has a pot of water it collects, and the boiler leaks, so there's a bucket outside collects the drips! The bees have been wuzzing round pollinating my chives, my raspberries and strawberries - so we can look forward to bright red, lumpy, onion flavour fruit next year - hahahah!

We took a run into town to have ice cream at Thorntons (huge thanks for our BOGOF token, greatly appreciated!) and I got my mountain of ironing done for the most part. I also took Kyle out for a quick run in the garden and gave her a manicure to see if it would cheer her up (it did) and Tsam was more than happy with a lick of his Dragon Drops.

And His Lordship has finally joined our Blogger ranks. Not much so far, but here's The Linkie.

"I am very disappointed. My magic stars, have been reduced to ... A MAGIC CLUMP! Awww... You can see their little faces distorted into screams as they melted." Joe.

Bombs and Bongos?

"You were only supposed to blow the bloody doors off!" - A famous line indeed, and never truer after the attempt on a Berlin Bank, May 28th.

In an effort to break open an ATM, they primed the machine with explosives - stood well back - and watched the entire building accidentally go up with a BOOM. Once the cloud of smoke had dispersed, with almost unnatural comedy failure - the amused ATM stood happily in the centre of the wreckage and rubble, mostly unharmed, being watched over by a slightly puzzled but still secure safe.

Better yet, they set their own truck on fire, when the blazing fragments came crashing down, having used 10 times as many gas canisters as required for the job. A local police spokesman said "They really botched this one!" Working with these metallic money munchers, I can honestly say I'm not in the least surprised. Lesson: Do your research first. Buncha numpties.

(Terry: 14.4g now and pooped on His Z key.)

Please, ignore the accompanying video, but do listen to this rather catchy music. We've been tapping our feet to it for DAYS... It seemed somewhat appropriate.

Billboard Bombardment

(Img 1) You have to give these two massive companies credit. Not only do they wage all out war against each other in the market, they do it in the advertising department too - and they do it with a sense of humour and flair. I very rarely see anything so funny!

Apart from Nerd-Wars. Hanny got into a bit of an argument with a girl who thought she was the geekiest, and called upon the nerdiest person she knows... Me. I'm not normally so obnoxious, and explained so afterwards. After a while of hedgehog pingpong (prickly back and forth banter) we've actually settled on an even ground and as always, I've got her to review her opinion of me, successfully. We both like The Big Bang Theory and odd languages. Ich bin a langer lucksh.

(Img 2) In retaliation to "Checkmate" Audi responded with this sassy comeback, featuring their new R8 Supercar.

"Hallo, I'm a friend of Hanny's, and I believe I uber-out-nerd you. I'm female, have an IQ of 136 at only 24 and I'm not naive enough to think I'm the absolute in Dorkdom, but I'm pretty high up there. My stats to the title: I beat the Ice Queen on Runescape at only lvl 43. I know that 14+ strength in D&D gives you a plus one bonus. I own 300+ Doctor who books, including a first edition 1964 very first Doctor Who annual. I paint warhammer models. I also enjoy String Theory (physics) as a hobby. I've been playing Neopets for over nine years and recently won an award for my article "A whole Neo-World of Food". I also worked out the fiscal value of a Vorpal Sword WITH a movie of the Robot Pirates song. I can recite the entirety of the Kubla Khan by Samuel Taylor Coleridge, and this little sucker ~ is called a Tilde. "

(Img 3) And BMW remained satisfyingly smug, with a beautiful poster released shortly after. Hehehe, insufferable gits!

Ah well. I put my creative writing to good use once we'd amicably resolved the nerd-disagreement, and finished my second article for Neopets. Watch this space! (I'm also writing a third now...)

But if you want the ultimate in all out war, you need to see the world of aquatic snails. Especially THESE guys. These pretty, black and brown striped animals have specialised in an extreme manner; these are Assassin Snails. They've tuned their engines and can outpace almost any other gastropod, and they can even hide by hanging upside-down on the water surface, waiting to drop down and strike an unwary snail, leaving behind little more than an empty shell as they literally rip it out and devour it... Respect Nature - she's seriously badass.

Blegs

I had to chuckle this morning - heading down to the bakers, I suddenly realised there was a little blackbird following me. I stepped back to watch him as he hopped towards the baker's van and waited whilst the baker shoved a tray of loaves in. The bird peeped in the door of the van, looked round, peeped in the van again ... and hopped in. The baker came back out with another tray and asked what I was looking at. I quietly pointed at the wee blackbird eating the crumbs from the floor of his van and he laughed. "Cheeky bugger - he's been inside the shop twice today already!" And for forgetting my sammich, he gave me a free pecan slice - yay!


BLACKBERRIES! We loooooove the blegs! Blackberries and raspberries and cherries and strawberries - Tsammy Dragon's face has turned all purple and pink, he's eaten so many! he yommed one so hard he nearly bit my finger. He crammed the second huge berry down, and demolished the third one. I held out a fourth and he grabbed it, bit it - bit it... bit it again and realised it wouldn't fit in his mouth. He was forced to put it down and he looked heartbroken. He was all "oh nooooes. My blackberrieeeeeeee...." He's still wandering round with a bleg tucked in his throat pouch for later - greedy boy. Eyes literally bigger than his belly!

Joe has recently rescued a beardie called Bug, after hours of discussing the matter via MSN. Bug's perfectly healthy, he just needed a new home as his owners had a baby. Bug's getting him well trained, in much the same way Kyle used to do with me. She used to go through phases of demanding in and out and in and out of her tank, banging on the door 'til I came over...I got clever and left her door open, but then she'd want in or out of the door that WASN'T open. So I got really smart to it, and opened both doors into the middle, so she can get in and out of either end herself. And so now now she gets her revenge - Kyle sulks in her house instead.

I'm disgusted. Co-Op shop used to do a nice big bag of chocolate coated peanuts, and another of raisins, for a pound each - but they've pulled them in favour of the smaller Cadbury's bags. Two pounds a time. I'm not paying that for a bag of peanuts!

Nibbles in Neopia!

"Congratulations! Your entry, Nibbles in Neopia: A whole Neo-World of food, has been selected to appear in the Neopian Times. A shiny trophy has been added to your user lookup. Thank you for contributing to the Neopian Times!" At last I am a prize-winning, recognised author with a circulation of 179,788,606 people so far. If you'd enjoy a read, here it is - Nibbles in Neopia!

Watch out Neopets, this is just my first article - there's more to come.

If you'd like to join Neopets and see what the fuss millions of players are raving about, come and sign up via my reference!

Frightful Food and Missing Meal!

His Lordship has "perfected" a not-very-nice edible rubbery foam. It was SUPPOSED to be what he thinks is a chocolate microwave brownie. 4 tbsps self raising flour, ditto sugar, 3 milk, 3 oil, 2 cocoa, 1 egg and 3 minutes in the microwave in a mug. I have to say, it is properly revolting - literally like rubber foam furniture filling (and c'mon, we've all had a bite on rubber foam at some point, just to see)... I didn't get a pic, so here's the atomic-fail pizza from Hornoxe.

Whilst microwaving it was amusing because "it ballooned out of the cup, which is visually entertaining"but upon emerging from "it's natural habitat" of the microwave, it shrank by about 50% and "seems to create some form of new polymer liable to be of interest to NASA." It seems to have great defensive properties once cooled, resisting a vicious attack with a spoon: "Once cooled it's suitable for the MoD to attempt ballistics halt experiments." In fact, he's actually abandoned it - he says he daren't finish it. Coming from a man happy to drink 3 days out of date milk? That's impressive.

I can honestly say I've never eaten spiky jelly before either. The fridge swapped modes again and froze everything in it again - including my bowl of lime jelly. Very bizarre - it's melty and crunchy, solid and squashy, lumpy and soft... "Odd." says man of few words. Crunchy jelly is WRAWNG. (Neopets: Frozen Jelly)

It didn't help that the local baker didn't actually do his banking today and completely forgot to deliver the sammich I paid for this morning, but his cleaner was very amused when I arrived after work, to "collect my non-existent lunch". I got a refund and I shan't complain - he does do the most wonderful doughnuts and pastries! This IS the world's CUTEST sammich though - as found on Oddee.com.

Does it count if it only has one bread? No, wait, I don't care. It's still supercute.

Bluest Blue and Fastest Fast Browser!

You may have noticed I've given the old Blog a bit of a makeover. After many years of my new-modern ironic reverse bookprint style, I got bored of this classic back-black and white, so I have upgraded everything for a subtle, fresh blend of blues. This brings the advantage of richer, balanced colours and it's easier to read as the contrast isn't quite so strong whilst retaining that comforting density. (Pic: unknown source. Message me. "Knork" is my favourite!)

Being as no-one seems to know why jelly sweets go solid in jelly, here's a new question: why do bad guys always have to have rotating chairs? His Lordship thinks it must be so they can have a dramatic entrance without actually having to get up.

Hehehehe. I told Tsam it wasn't a good idea to try to climb the stack of DVDs, but he ignored me and tried it anyway. The Green Mile promptly fell over and smacked him on the head. He's having a marvellous time chasing Kyle around, whom is heavily defended by her giant hamster ball. She's got really good at trundling that around now!

If you're still using Firefox, or worse, Internet Explorer - then please, do yourself a favour and stop it already! I've been encouraging friends to convert to Chrome - and I'm pleased to announce that NONE of my converts have gone back to their previous internet browser! I have been using it since the betas, and have been pleased by each successive tweak. Watch the video below, and then come join us: http://www.google.com/chrome

Cloudberry Chocolate

After a hard day of scouring numbers in our central branch, His Lordship brought the dragons in their basket to see me. The sun was blazing down, roasting hot, so at Tsammy's insistence, we all stopped off at the Butcher's pub for a swift half. A cool glug (or a few licks in the lizards' case) and we were off for a quick nip around town to grab a new pair of work shoes and some Thorntons.

We had a nice poke about at the sale lines, picking up a nice 330g box for £3.50 (not a bad price) to enjoy later when the weather cools down.

Ooooh. New Limited Season range is out! I wasn't too fussed about the new praline, but the salted caramel, the cloudberry truffle and the banana pistachio was a must! The salted caramel had a sweet, firm dark chocolate shell that bit with a distinct "POP" (reminiscent of the way the Eden collection does - deeply satisfying!), releasing a thick, dark, almost dirty-flavour liquid caramel centre. They've balanced the notes well, avoiding the coffee-ish burnt flavour, but retaining the true feel of the caramel. Cloudberry is a strange one - I'd never heard of "cloudberry" before - and little surprise. They turn out to be one of the most expensive berries due to their rare environment; preferring to grow in Arctic, boggy land. In a chocolate truffle, it has an odd, delicate and elusive flavour, fruity and similar to... baked apples actually. The banana and pistachio was a real treat though and certainly my favourite. A light, sweet banana mousse (thankfully not overpoweringly artificial - it didn't taste a bit like a milkshake!) sat on a base of soft, squidgy, sweet pistachio nougat, contained in a smooth dark shell sprinkled with pistachio crumb. Heaven! (Image: chocablog.com - the salted caramel)

Jelly Question for you - why do jelly sweets melt and go rock solid in jelly pudding, even when made with cold water?

Slow But Smart!

Uberawesomecool! I came home on my bike and as I pulled up, I noticed what looked like a glittery gold strip of plastic or something. I hopped off and took a closer look. I just met my very first slow worm! Let me explain. Slow worms look a lot like little snakes, but these odd English reptiles are actually lizards with no legs and rather rare in the rest of the country. Since moving down South, I have longed to meet a slow worm; we don't tend to get them back home, but they're said to be prolific in Somerset - yet I'd never seen one of these shy, elusive animals. Today was my lucky day!

It seems I'd encountered a youngster, possibly two years old as he/she was still bright gold and had a black striped belly, trying to hide on the rough gravel. Poor thing seemed to have a real struggle getting over the concrete and stones, so I carefully picked it up with my bike gloves and brought it into the garden. (I kept the gloves on, because I understand these creatures have a powerful bite!) I popped him/her on the grass for a moment whilst I picked up my big chunk of slate (originally for Kyle to bask on, but she never bothered with it) and popped it under the rhubarb next to the onions. Image - Jonas Bergsten's from Wikicommons.

When I turned round to encourage the slow worm to go towards the rock, it took me a moment to find it - they literally SWIM through the grass! I didn't want to accidentally step on it - they're a protected species, so I tugged my gloves off and got him/her by the middle (thankfully I'd guessed right, that they can shed their tails) and gently pulled it out. S/he didn't need extra encouragement, and wriggled underneath the rock I'd provided.

div>It appears I've done the right thing, as a quick peek a moment ago reveals the little "worm" is still tucked under there. I won't take a photo, as we don't want to upset it but I do hope s/he decides it's a nice place to stay, because I've just discovered they're voracious slug and small snail munchers! And we've got plenty of those here...

Disappointing Dinner :(

I'm getting quite disappointed by The Real China as the quality of the food really seems to be dropping which is a shame, as I used to really love it there, especially the value!

The chicken balls were more like dumplings with a surprise chicken centre - the surprise being when you actually find it. The sweet and sour chicken, whilst good in flavour, seemed to be missing much of it's meat, and the lemon chicken was similarly lacklustre - it ought really have been called just "chicken" as no lemon was discernible in the flavour at all. This seemed to be another current theme of the food, as (normally my favourite dish) the crispy shredded chili beef appeared to have little to no taste whatsoever.. And why are the noodles SO orange? I want the prawn toast back! I miss the chicken-fried, sesame coated, juicy and crunchy prawn toast...

Terry is 14.3g now after a good dinner, and developing a real cute character. He likes to watch TV late at night from the point in the vine that bends into a comfy, U shaped bench, or he likes to "sneak up" on me and find new ways of drawing my attention purely by staring from some odd position. My favourite so far has to be hung upside down, head twisted round and peering round a corner from a leaf.

"If your gecko is broken, do you have a reptile dysfunction?" - Jack and Jill, Pixdaus