Mayonnaise, Mocha, Movies and Marmite.

Books: The Red Dwarf Omnibus - An absolute bargain this week, 25p! Alright, someone's jabbed it repeatedly with a long spiky implement of some form, but it's still highly readable. A book on cats - Meh, not much to comment. Cheap. Needed something to read. Have hidden it in a workmate's bag so he can enjoy it over his holiday (more his cup of coffee than mine. I prefer tea.) Haruki Murakami - downright ruddy weird sums it up nicely. In fact, His Lordship says "It's like Salvador Dali vomited on some paper." Maybe not that gross, but you get the idea. You could present a copy of the book in the Tate and no-one think anything of it. I'll have to buy Norwegian Wood soon. (And yes, that is a bunch of buckets on string. I saw them in a shop window.)

Odd Moments: "Well, I'd take all my clothes off if you asked, but I'm not sure you'd like the result." - from a reputable local councillor of all people! Also, clickie this here photo ---> and tell me what's wrong with it. No, it hasn't been photoshopped - it's exactly as we saw it on the shelves of Woolworths. Marvellous, just marvellous. Puzzler of the week: "Why is it when you dry clean hands, the towel gets dirty?" - Local faffer. Comment board open.

Lizards: Big Dragon has been going through some temper-tantrums in her teen years, Little Dragon is learning lots. We took them both into the town centre where they were fussed over in Shirabells' and then slept in my bag in Tom's Mocha.

Lordship: Happy that I look after His back. Also, whilst massaging said back, discovered that one particular spring resonates with his voice. "Hmm. It's almost like I could be in some sort of box..." He's had to put back the driving test as He's pantsed it up a little, but He's determined to improve.

Food: His Lordship's outdone himself this week. I'd picked up some asparagus, as regular readers will know, I adore asparagus and then we picked up some red peppers, baby sweetcorn, chanteray carrots and fresh salmon. I showed Him how to pan-sear whilst He blended up a simple lemon glaze. I blitzed up some mayonnaise with chive and garlic for flavour. Then we quickly blasted a bunch of wild mushrooms and threw it all together. Hey, I'd be happy to be served that in a restaurant. I wouldn't pay £50 like, but I'd be happy to eat it. We also had fajitas the other day, with sesame and lemonthyme chicken, chestnut mushrooms with a spot of rosemary and lots of my mayomix.

Films: Hancock - a little predictable in places, but I'm certainly not going to ask for my money back! "It was jolly good I thought. An interesting differential on the traditional superhero storyline." As promised, we also saw Kung Fu Panda. One word: Awesome. As quoted from Jack Black a.k.a Po.

Big Brother & Other T.V.: Dear GOD I hate Bex's laugh. Please, please can we get rid of her already. She's whiny, vindictive and plain unpleasant. Come off it darling, if THIS ant can manage that, you can manage to cope with razor rash. Sadly however, Doctor Who's grand finale was a bit of a let-down too. It would have been nice for them to have killed her off outright. And it's all very well Rose getting her own version (and myself my Leige *pokes Him*) but what about all the rest of the women in the world?! (I know a certain Mum of mine that'd adore her own Depp for example...)

Garden: The raspberry stalks actually have raspberries on! The tomatoes have little tomatoes round the lower branches and we will have to pick some of the chunkier rhubarb stalks. The herbs are about as mental as usual - the chive has made a surprising comeback after I used half of it in the mayonnaise for the salmon and the fajitas... Talking of raspberries, Little Dragon has discovered he likes them too. We did a mixed fruit mush (to go on crumpets) and fed both beasties a fair spoonful. They also like Marmite because it's sticky and you can keep licking it for aaaaages.

Bizarre Quote of the Day: "The most reliable temperature interval to carry out ultrasonic measurements in Cheddar cheese is identified as 0 to 17 °C." - A. Mulet, J. Benedito and J. Bon; Polytechnic University of Valencia; 2006