I'm just a mushroom - kept in the dark and fed bu...

Now, everyone knows I love mushrooms for my dinner, be it garlic, Shitake or chestnut - but I was most impressed I discovered this extraordinary mushroom earlier today; Omphalotus olearius. Not only does it look yummy, it's said to smell wonderful and taste delicious - so much so that there are cases of repeat poisonings by people being tempted to try it again and again. Thankfully this glow in the dark mushroom (otherwise known as the Jack O'Lantern) isn't lethal, but it does causes serious cramps, vomiting and diarrhea. (Img1: www.mtsn.tn.it, Img2: See here for more incredible mushrooms!)

Following the train of thought, Jack O'lanterns, I was pondering if by putting a (or many) mirror(s) by a candle would it actually increase the amount of light? Bearing in mind you can see the flame, and the reflection seems just as intense... Having had a good think about it, I checked using the power of the interwebs, which confirmed my suspicions: No. It simply utilises the light and puts it in a more useful direction. It's the same amount of light, but more efficient.

Quote of the Day: "Pushbikes...I probably couldn't ride out of sight on a dark night without running out of puff!" - The Australian.

His Lordship's Birthday!

The 11th March (like every other day in March) is a Holiday Day. Today's Festival is "Worship of Tools Day". It made me laugh when I told him - he was most offended! Being as it's His Day and there's nothing he likes better than computers, I figured we'd work together on some funky facts around one of our favourite technological tools.

Online banking uses 128bit encryption (kind of like a made up language - your computer speaks French. You don't so it's going to be really hard to learn). The time required to crack a 128bit code is about 1000 times longer than the current age of our Universe and requires an ubercomputer* that can handle a billion billion calculations per second.

*IBM's current best supercomputer "BluegeneL" handles 70.7 trillion calculations per second - that's nearly 71 trillion calculators working at the same time on different math things.

The only computers that MIGHT be able to do it is the MDGrape3, which they haven't even worked out exactly what it can do yet or IBM's similar system, "Roadrunner", which can handle a phenomenal speed of 1.4 petaFLOPs per second. Even at these unthinkable speeds, it's still not going to crack 128 any time soon.

Needless to say, they aren't going to be on the public market any time soon - Roadrunner occupies a space of over 560 square meters and requires it's own powerstation to run! To show the sheer scale of these machines, your average home PC only handles about 100 million calculations and runs at a speed of about 3 gigahertz -roughly 30 million FLOPS. A petaFLOP is a quadrillion FLOPS. (For detailed chart: Wiki Giga)

Interesting Fact of the Day: It turns out "e" is a number = 2.71828183. It requires some serious thinking time to explain.

Tackety Toes VS Olive Oil

Sometimes my brain offers me some very odd solutions to problems. I was considering Nep's Girl's earache problem when it whispered to me "You could always put Bonjela in your ear." Thankfully the rest of me is smart enough to see why this is a bad idea - but it's a great mental image! Also - disconcertingly tempting, just to see what it was like. Would you feel it?

But sometimes it comes up with some great puzzles to ponder. If you remember, I asked a few weeks back: "What, in your opinon, would happen if you put olive oil on the feet of a gecko?" It was a thought I was mulling over due to it's contradictory nature (as they use a lot of different tactics; static, suction AND velcro styles to hang onto things) and potential comedy value. I did discover it really gives an insight to the person you ask though:

His Lordship: I don't know - their feet work funny, so I honestly don't know as they rely on a pull rather than a suction... (logical and honest)

Erkan: Mmmh... I guess it would soften their feet. (Nice lateral thinking there)

Hannymal: I think he would try to lick it off? He might find it tasty - probably tastes like leaves. (sensory with a practical side)

Engineer Rob: Not a lot. I'd guess perhaps a better seal to the surface due to the surface tension. Concrete would be a problem though as the hairs on the feet for anchoring would be hampered. Textiles would fail and leave oily marks. The gecko would, within the correct habitat, probably find something porous/absorbent i.e. fine sand to get the worst of it off. Dry soil would have the same effect, topsoil rather than low-basin/compost as it's drier. (Rob specialises in variables and outcomes as he has Irlen Syndrome)

Ross: Hmmm, he'd slide around and stuff, 'cause he's used to having grippy stuff rather than oil in contact with the floor / wall? Are you planning on dipping a Geeko in olive oil? If I had one and it occurred to me - I would. Hey! If you dipped it in batter first, you'd have a nice lunch! (Greedy and funny!)

Denzil: Probably not much because, if my knowledge is correct and I'm not saying it is, they have suction thingies on their feet and the oil should just replace the seal around the suction thingies, but i'm not guaranteeing any of this. I was being cautious in case you attempted to do it to your gecko, I know what you're like! (Wary - specialises in psychology)

Craig: Wut? Uh, I guess it may slip all over the place. what do you think then? (Noncommital, needs justification of self?)

Bogle: Slippy slidey. I don't think the static would be of much use with the oil, as the little hairs go all greasey. I think maybe he could stick a little but not very well - it would be a bit icky! (My younger sister. Nuff said.)

SnaketongueJ: Might sting a bit for them... Oh wait, did you just ask me what would happen if you put olive oil on a geckos feet? Ahhh. I got confused then. (You tell me.)

Nige - It wouldn't be able to climb on smooth surfaces any more, though you might get the same entertainment value of a dog walking on ice. (Straightforward.)

Another odd thought prompted me to ask His Lordship to imagine what it would be like if someone put strawberries down his underpants. The reaction I got was so convincing I was actually concerned that someone HAD put squishy strawberries in his underpants - complete with shaking imaginary fruit out of the bottom of his trouser legs and grossed out expressions... Bravo Jigs, bravo! A job well done indeed! (Img: A perfect tie in of my two topics from Worth1000!)

Interesting Related Fact of the Day AND the solution: "Oil will disrupt the van der Waals force that allows a gecko to climb by seta, the tiny hairs that have spatula shaped tips. Water increases this power and oil will stop it! Plastics, derived from oils, are also hard work for geckos to stick to - they can't hang on to Teflon either." Thanks to Metin Sitti and his experiments into Artificial Gecko Sticking.

Is Global Warming All Humbug?

As today is the official day for people to panic (Panic Day) I thought I'd find something for you all to really panic about! Here's a great one from Listverse<-- so hit link for 10 different types of Mass Extinction!

Here's something to alleviate the current trend fears: at this moment, the earth is in the middle of an ice age which began around 2.58 million years ago. We are in an interglacial period which started between 10,000 and 15,000 years ago and may last for a further 50,000 years before global glaciation begins again. (Thanks to NASA!)

The "humbug" in the picture is a rather beautiful Antarctic iceberg spotted by Oyvind Tangen. Its wonderful stripes are formed by a glacier passing over layers of different materials - sea-water rich in algae creates green stripes, fissures in the iceberg hat fills with meltwater turn bright blue. Brown and black layers are dust and soil picked up when it slides down the land collecting dust, soil and ash.

PROPER Chip Butties

We did the most amazing dinner a few days back. I picked up a nice slab of gammon to roast with chunks of pineapple for flavour and moisture and finished the tender meat with a crisp honey glaze. When served up with fresh veggies on a bed of soft honey mustard mash, it makes for an incredible combination - I certainly recommend this surprisingly simple dish. May have to do it when some family visit some time, I think it could be quite popular! (Especially if I don't tell my brother what it is)

Although, I miss home sometimes. Fish and chips just isn't the same down South, not to mention harder to get and more expensive. Here, thanks to Google Maps, I've found a 6km by 4km of my old town with a glorious THIRTYSEVEN chippies in easy reach.

Better yet, I can have my chips in stotties. Now, this is an argument that has been going on between myself and His Lordship (and HLSenior) for some time. They claim that there's no such thing as a stottie because it isn't in the dictionary, furthermore they insist that it's a giant bap. "Bap" I ask you. Like this is America.

Well, I finally won my argument, and here's undeniable proof: STOTTIE at ASDA! For further evidence I rang the ASDA people at 17:32 06/03/10. They checked the site for me, confirmed it does exist, it is a real food item and it's even in stock. What better proof than a global company? I thank you.

Related Thought for the Day: What would happen if you put olive oil on the feet of a gecko? Looking forwards to seeing what you think in the next post!

(Email indigo_blue_fish at hotmail.co.uk)

Dear God...

This little boy seems to be thinking what the rest of the country has in mind. http://fillinn.com It's STILL icy cold - but the rhubarb is loving it. I have fresh green leafies peeking out of the solid, frosted ground.

Here's another Dear God - what was that awful smell at work? Oh, it was only the refrigerator catching fire whilst the compressor overloads and leaks Dichlorodifluoromethane R12 gas which was banned over 16 years ago. Mmm, that would be catchy as a perfume name though. It smells truly rank too, combined with badly singed insulation and ozone from the arcing power supply. Good job I'm savvy enough to recognise burning insulation and unplug.

Interesting Fact of the Day: Every day in March is special. Today (1st March) is Peanut Butter Lover's Day! Here's some awesome facts about our favourite spread - with some very useful tips - PB removes label glue better than anything. http://listverse.com/2009/03/01/top-10-unusual-uses-for-peanut-butter/

Security Systems

Following on from the retarded security mechanisms in the wrong places, I've found some gold for you silly, silly iPhone buyers. All us non-iPhoners know that Apple is inherently evil, more so than Microsoft. Never mind the fact they make all their workers miserable with such tight security restrictions, here's how they're out to make YOU miserable too: If Apple don't like what you're doing with your iPhone (which you never actually own, if you read your contract properly, it remains property of the Apple corp) such as "jailbreaking" your phone to download free apps made by other users rather than paying the extortionate fees from the Appstore, they can break your phone. Seriously.

The worst bit they're currently working on is making their adverts "compel attention". Basically, every so often they smack you with an unskippable advert and disable absolutely everything until the user responds. Yup, that's right, it renders your phone completely useless until you comply with it's demands. Scary... http://www.cracked.com/

Talking of security systems, the ultrasonic deterrent has been in use for a while and failing spectacularly to deter kids. Have a go yourself with these sound waves; how high can you hear? http://www.noiseaddicts.com I can make it through all of them JUST, if I listen carefully, even with His Lordship's Helicopter powered laptop. I think I might lose 18 and 19khz, but regain a low feeling of sound from 20 onwards. Must check again when The Helicopter isn't powered up. How'd you do?

Quote of the Day: "When I were a lad, me mother would send me down to t'corner shop wi' a shilling, and I'd come back wi' five pounds o' potatoes, two loaves o'bread, three pints o' milk, a pound o' cheese, a packet o' tea, an' 'alf a dozen eggs. Yer can't do that now. Too many bloody security cameras." - Cat Grumps

Dragon Ball!

Sorry anime fans, this isn't Dragon Ball Z, this is Dragon Ball Tsam!

Tsam just LOVES a challenge. He enjoys a game we called "Magic Air" - just a clear plastic packaging box that he fell in love with, having climbed in the open end he was digging at the shut end. At first I thought he'd got stuck and was freaking out, but he sulked when I opened it so I let him play with it for hours! Eventually he'd had enough of digging so I opened it again and he happily went to sleep in his new toy. (You can see Magic Air again here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yV9M5Lf21ko)

So I figured we'd get him an upgrade, as his favourite box is getting a bit old and battered now...

We upgraded him to a ferret ball.

Tsam hasn't quite worked out how to run long distances yes, but he's having a great time digging it and scooting it a few feet a time. He's blackbearding in the photo because he's managed to sit it outside smexi Kyle's tank and he thinks she's goooooorgeous.

Kyle's just relieved that she can wander around outside her tank without getting jumped on!

Graffiti - Art or Accident?

I'm making Dragon Hoards as presents to the lizards for their Hatchdays. A nice lady on eBay was greatly amused at my idea and is sending me a mixture of sparkly high quality acrylic crystals of varying sizes and colours. I'll combine it with little coins, "gold nuggets" and other items with silicone or somesuch to safely weld them all down. I think using some gold and silver sprayed pebbles will make nice "nuggets" when coated with a clear seal lacquer.

I've picked up a nice little treat for them as an early present - a ferret ball. Basically, this is a HUGE hamster ball. As Tsammy loves clear boxes, I figured a clear ball would challenge him whilst giving Kyle a break. It'll be nice to kind of let them both out at the same time, though I'm concerned that Tsam might run her over!

Handy arty tips: Methylated spirits removes grass stain, and hairspray removes biro. I also discovered that alcohol foam supplied in hand sterilisers will lift permanent marker from your skin! (footballers - listverse)

Here's a thought for you. Why is that the "You wouldn't steal a movie" clip is normally only ever seen at the beginning of cinema showings or at the start of your DVD? You've clearly legitimately paid for it, so isn't that kind of aimed at the wrong crowd? The only people who ever see it are the people who PAID for it.

Hell, if I could download a car free of charge, I'd be sorely tempted.

Related Quote for Today: "And the first rude sketch that the world had seen was joy to his mighty heart, till the Devil whispered behind the leaves "It's pretty, but is it Art?" - Rudyard Kipling.

Happy Lupercalia!

Valentines is over hyped. It's based on an ancient pagan festival called Lupercalia anyway. So unless you're a fan of being chased round by nude men weilding whips, you don't have to worry about being in the true spirit of the festival. It made His Lordship blush furiously when I told him! (Image: I-am-bored.com) He did give me a great card though: "Roses are red, violets are blue, when we first met I knew it was true; I had stepped in a puddle, and had a hole in my shoe..."

Fast Foody Fancies

I remember sitting on my Nan's garden wall, eating KitEkat biscuits with Rusty and Pippa. My favourite were the beef ones... I try everything twice, just to make sure my first test was accurate. I also try things again in a year or two just to check if my tastes have changed or not.

I still don't like olives though. I tried them again (green and black) a month or two back. Twice. I still don't like them. But I do like eggy bread with maple syrup. Mmmm.

The perfect chocolate sponge - I think I finally mastered it today. It's taken months of tweaking my recipe, but it's paid off as a fine, smooth, velvety, moist, light, foamy chocolate syrup sponge much to my deepest delight. Whether I can make it again is another question, as I don't use measures.

I used one medium egg, a glass of sugar, a glass of flour, half a glass of good cocoa, and an egg and a half sized chunk of Vitalite. Blitzed together until it turned into a solid lump, I sloshed milk in it until it formed ribbons and peaks in the blending, then poured into a greased, syruped plate-sized pyrex circle dish. 12 minutes in the microwave with checks at the 8 and 10 mark, et voila - dreamcake. Turns out it's just as good on day two!

And all the house smells of cake. Mmm.

Just Jovialities

Here's a fun site for you to try: Cleverbot! Cleverbot is like the Igod upgraded. The logarithms are much more sophisticated this time and it genuinely learns from the people playing with it. His Lordship tried to break the programme using illogical math (0/0 = ?). It thought about it and told him "That is mean!" I forget the subject Bot and I were discussing at the time, but I loved the response I got to one of my questions: "Well, I can't eat antigravity. It isn't a matter of liking or disliking it at all. It is just there."

In line with a little fun today, I've added one of my favourite movie clips of all time. Himself and I have been Maru fans for some time, but this clip reduces me to tears of laughter EVERY time we watch it.

Interesting fact of the day: Most numbers written do not contain the letter "A". It's only when you get to "One thousand" that it truly appears!

Fancy Digs (AKA Spade Storage)

I've been househunting, but this one is my current favourite. They're asking 56K for this "two bed bungalow". I'm sorry, but it's a frikken' shed with double glazing and a toilet!

Should have a sign on the bathroom door: "Water the plants - sprinkle when you tinkle!"

(Image and details: http://www.findaproperty.com/displayprop.aspx?edid=00&salerent=0&pid=1214557)

We've run into some complications however, as with His Lordship's Mother being ... unwell (family: email me for more details), His Lordship Senior doesn't want us moving so far away as it will upset her. He's also told us we can stay here and pay whatever rent we feel comfortable with, but if we mess him around, we're out. Whilst I sincerely appreciate the offer, it has left me very confused - I want stability, somewhere to call mine, as at the moment it feels a lot like pouring water into a bucket with a hole in; paying rent when it could be a mortgage on something I can keep and get money back out of when I'm done with it.

Whilst I also appreciate they're not everyone's cup of tea, I love lizards. As if you hadn't guessed by now! So I spend a few quid on accessories for them, or upgrades, or heaven forbid every couple of years, a whole new animal, but it's not like I'm spending my money on anything else lavish like holidays abroad, going to the Ritz or Manolo shoes, as much as I might like to. I'm sincerely looking forward to the day when I can put up my tripletank and move my dragons into their new luxury abode, but there's no point building it just to move it again a few weeks, months, whatever, later is there? As I have spares, I'm certainly not going to put wear and tear on £100 worth of lighting that needs replacing every 12 months for no good reason!

Mix Ups and Muddles...

Frustratingly, all my plans have been turned on their head again, so I have to move the tanks upstairs at some point so we can rent the downstairs rooms as His Lordship believes we'll get more for it. My thought on the matter is that it's massively inconvenient - where am I going to put visitors?! It's really going to tick Terry off, being shufted into a different environment. He's 12.2g of sticky, sneaky malevolence...

Aww. I got sent the wrong controller. They're shipping me a new one and refunding postage to return, which is kind of them. In the meantime, I picked up a new animal hut to match Tsam and Kyle's, and saved £5 on that too, free P&P. And got sent the wrong one. Though, this was a bonus as it was bigger than the one I was expecting.

I've been teaching Tsam how to use the new hideyholes that are built into the tank - the clever boy cottons on to new ideas SO fast. I bunged him in, waited for him to have a good look round and wiggled a finger in the top. He politely licked the finger and had a look out of the hideyhole. "Oooh" he says! Out pops his head, has a look around and hops out, easy as. He was twice the speed second time round, so I'm content he knows what he's doing to get out - getting in is going to take some learning though. Kyle, bless her, has a little bit more difficulty. She's very slightly too tubby to fit through with the same ease as Tsam!

Talking of which, I have been speaking to Barry and Kisa of BloodBankDragons and discovered it's possible to ship dragons over with the ones sent for European reptile shows. Normally to export a BBD from the US costs $800. As lots are being shipped for the EU Expo, that reduces it to about $150 - which is an equivalent saving of about £400! I'll still have to wait until I move into my own home though (Pic: Bloodbankdragons.com - another pretty dragon. Still like the red and black one though!) Current Potential "Savings": £685

Talking of savings, ApplianceDeals sent me another nice little message to let me know they'd upgraded their webpage. I have to say, it looks a lot more professional than their main competitors; having had a poke about on it, it's a lot easier to use too. The search function is much slicker and the front page alone has such easy access to choice! Let's put it this way, I'll certainly be back for a fridge-freezer when my old one finally claps out!

WARNING!

There's a nasty little adware going round compromising people's MSN accounts. BEWARE of ANY links anyone sends you, especially "laughed like hell.com". It WILL compromise your account and replicate itself. If you have been hit by it, put a warning on your MSN immediately, close the program, change your password and run some malware programmes.

I should have been more suspicious when my mother asked me if I was on Facebook and finished with three question marks, but these adwares are getting REALLY smart. No email in the webpage and looks a lot more legit. They VARY as well.