Taunton's Terrifying Trial of Tuesday Trains

Tuesday had been one of those days. It should have been simple: go out to Taunton, see an advisor, get home. Having discussed it, we decided it probably wasn't a good route for me to drive and as none of us had ever heard of Lower Henlade, I quickly planned my journey by train and taxi. Simple!

Apparently not. I arrive at the station on time and wait. The train is running a little late, nothing unusual there. Got to Castle Cary safely, pleased to see the connection is running on time and make the switch following the announcer as there are no boards. Castle Cary smells particularly fetid at the moment by the way, lots of farming in the area. Happily trundling along on the train... only to look round in surprise 15 minutes later as we discover we're pulling back into the station we just CAME FROM. (Related pic: Pixdaus Demotivationals)

As the announcer had announced the wrong train and there were several of us now back at our original platform due to this mixup, the stationmaster agreed to ship us all by taxi. Fortunately my adviser was good natured as I rang ahead to let him know I'd be late.

Half an hour late for my appointment we arrived in Taunton and the taxi offered to take me down to Henlade as he was going thataway home. Turns out Henlade isn't the same place. The staff at Blackbrook's pub weren't exactly helpful, ringing a taxi company, telling me it was the only one local and it'd be at least an hour for another cab. I flipped a spare when I was told they'd never heard of Mount Somerset. Fortunately just next door there was a very helpful Premier Inn! Not only had they heard of it, they knew where it was. Better still, two of the assistants set to ringing up taxis - "I got one for 15 mins!" "Got one for 10!". Marvellous stuff girls. AND I got a free cup of tea.

To my general amusement, Mount Somerset was literally around the corner - a large, victorianesque pile of a mansion. Straight in, straight out, same taxi back to the station, nicely in time for my 12:55 train.

Except apparently that one wasn't stopping in Castle Cary at 12:55. They come every three hours today, and next one's at 14:22. Carefully I drew a breath and kept my temper. Thankfully I have a good book and a few pennies for lunch in my pocket, so I ensconced myself on the correct platform and purchased a tuna and sweetcorn sandwich. Or at least, that's what the wrapper said. Yon sandwich turned out to be CHICKEN and sweetcorn.

With a sigh (as let's face it, that's no hardship really) I consumed my sandwich and caught my train back to C-Cary. Whereupon we were notified of a delay and my connection train wouldn't be there. The next one would be at 16:10. Oh, nearly two hours, stranded on Stinky Central Station. Wuuuunderful. Once more I found a tough metal seat to place my already aching arse and while away more of my time.

As a rule, I don't mind children. But this one I bear exception to. For a start he was a mouth breather "scccchhh huuuuhhhh ... scccchhh huuuuhhhh" and snotty nosed "snrrrrrrk", but the Hula Hoops got me. Someone seems not to have taught this child to eat properly. Not only did we have the openmouthed "crunkcrunkcrunk" (I could have lived with that) we also had verbal appreciation "unnnnhhh" with each and every single one. Followed and interspersed with copious lipsmacking "tchicktchicksmack". I had to go stand outside in the stinky wind and rain to get away from the incessant "schhhhh snurk unnnng crunk tchicksmacksmack". Having got soaked in the wet, I was pleased to note the little grotesque had completed his treat (as was the poor shuddering chap hiding behind his Times in the corner) and I settled back in the warm.

Until the juicyfruit chewing gum came out.

Dear gods preserve me. This child has braces for craig's-sake! So now we had all of the above sounds, coupled with slurps of gum being pulled off metalwork and oy... bubbles too. It makes me shudder to recall. (Related Pic: Email handaround - sling me a link.)

Never mind. I got home in the end.

To discover the show I've been looking forwards to for months has just cancelled at short notice and that the gasman has declared our heating system to be the worst possible rating.

I'm going to go to bed now. Worst that can happen is I can fall out.