Bog Brassica II - and The Return.

I apologise straight away, this post may be a little disturbing for some viewers. For those that don't retain a mental age of approximately oooh, five, then please continue to the next post.

This post is about bathroom incidents. You've been warned.

My mum has been quite rightly grossed out this week, as she's been chasing away a rather revolting leftover with such a character that it's been given the name "Toilet Turtle". Simply, it's a very large poo which pretends it's flushed away, until it slowly reappears in the bottom of the bowl. Repeatedly. You can see where the name's come from if you think about it. Not that you probably would like to!

Our more regular readers may possibly remember me relating the story of "The Bog Brassica" and I'd like to add some more details I didn't have at the time. For those who aren't familiar with it, read on. When my mother first moved into the house I first came to know as "home", she discovered a rather... unusual thing. At some point in a previous owner's history, someone had thrown a quarter of a cabbage in the bottom of the utility room toilet. Surprisingly, instead of just being flushed, it remained and survived. Hell, it THRIVED. I was aware that it had become quite a successful cabbage, but I hadn't realised quite how so. This Bog Brassica had grown itself an impressive root system, then gone on to flower vigorously. "It was brushing the ceiling, it was that big." (Pretty cabbage picture (c) Ian Alexander 1996-2005 )

Mind you, talking of plants in bathrooms, I've had to put Mindel in our bathroom as the humidity in the living room is too low and the poor plant is struggling. (He's a Nepenthes Alata, Devil's Red Pitcher Plant) I'm glad to say he's perking up again, boosting out new leaves with potential new pods, and is enjoying fishfood.

Oh, that's reminded me of an incident at my Ex's, before he was the Ex and I spent a lot of time there. They used to have one of these BIG paper sacks full of potatoes down by the side of the toilet in the utility room (simply for somewhere to keep them) that occasionally fell over. One day, when I nipped in there, I realised it'd fallen over again and discovered a large potato in the bottom of the bowl. Not being the brave sort when it comes to toilets, I called upon His Exness to come and fish it out. He's even less brave than I, and attempted to poke out with a loobrush, whilst his brother looked on, grinning. And was even less brave when it crumbled. Ugh! DBob thought it was hilarious and 'fessed up straight away. I saw the funny side. The Ex just vomited. Bravo!

Quote of the Day: "Boycott shampoo! Demand the REAL poo!" - www.porcelainpoetry.faketrix.com