Tuesday 30 September 2008

Big Up the Yays!

This is a YAY post.

YAY 1: The tribunal with the council finally finalised, His Lordship has been given back a small amount of what he's owed. We have closure at last, less stress.

YAY 2: His Lordship passed his driving test first time! Huge Congrats!

Yay 3: Ben and Jerry's was half price the other week! We tried the pineapple and passionfruit "Jamaican Me Crazy" flavour - definitely fruity, I'd have liked more passionfruit sauce, but very light. The Cookie Dough is just superb as always, and Hank discovered the delights of Phish Food, with its chocolatey marshmellowy goodness.

YAY 4: I've been transferred into the bigger branch and been given jobs I enjoy a heckuvalot more!

YAY 5: His Lordship got a new temporary job! Not for want of trying, it's just this town is a bit tough for work. I may have mentioned previously that Tesco recently laid off all it's Uni students for lack of wages locally, but he's beaten them all to the peg and landed a nice job in a brand new camping store. Mum says: "At last, I can tell people He's camp!" Shame it was only for fitting of the store, but it's brought in a little more money.

YAY 6: I have Martin Clunes's new book, signed to me! Woohoo! His Lordship popped into town to get me "A Dog's Life" specially, so huge thanks to Him for being wonderful. And being able to meet a TV Star when I wasn't able to.

YAY 7: I have a pair of pants, signed by Martin Clunes!

YAY 8: Work have given me an extra week's holiday at random! Score! So we took a trip to London - coming soon.

Related Quote of the Day: "Are they Ready Salted?" - Martin Clunes himself. Very "Men Behaving Badly"! Good on you, sir!

Monday 29 September 2008

Tapirs, Tamarins and Tortoises...

Cricket St Thomas was pretty much funky, lots of happy, healthy beasties running about. The weather held out surprisingly well, so most of the animals were happy to be out in the open to be seen. We saw reindeers shedding velvet, Jango the cheetah being hand fed bits of steak by his keeper, and I was impressed by this rodent anyway. He was quite friendly towards us, even when His Lordship sat by the fence with him to have a natter. Shortly after he pondered down with us to the water and spent some time trying to escape under the bridge, until he tired of it; this capybara we nicknamed "Jesus". He didn't so much walk on water, but he certainly sat on it!

Goats: turns out one of them really likes Jacobs Crackers! They say it's impossible to eat three dry Jacobs in one go, but this goat happily yomped five and went on to consume what looked like several kilos of dry food...

There were birds of all different species and colours, my favourites being the pheasants with their bright shiny plumage, about a dozen species like Swinhoe's and Firebacks, Reeve's as well as your common ones. His Lordship rather liked the kookaburra, with its cream and deep brown plumage and wickedly long, thick beak. We admired the brash colours of the macaws in shades of gold and summer skies, the rainbow of budgies and the sharp witty voices of the cockatiels...

The flamingoes were a lovely shade of carotene dye pink, busily sifting and rummaging around in the bottom of the lake, fed by the capy's stream, but it took us a lot more walking around to find the reptile den. If we weren't looking for it deliberately, chances are we wouldn't have seen it. I get the feeling it was a "takeon" house, homing as it was a pack of rather large snakes, a couple of very large iguana and a few big tortoises - I'm guessing they used to be someone's pets at one time, until they got too big. I would dearly have loved to have had a budget there, update the tanks, fancy up the Iggy hides... But there was a big tank full of fat, shiny hissing cockroaches. The Dragons would have gone nuts if we had taken them to look!

As is habit, I got bitten by an animal - this time it was a young rhea that took a shine to the buttons on my coat. Thankfully, being a baby, they're very easily distracted with long, wavy blades of grass - very tasty you see. Mind you, he's a smug little (well, big) bird, check out that grin... It did surprise me to see them wandering around with the camels, I guess I didn't think they'd get along, what with camels supposedly being bad tempered.

There was also a large gang of lemurs, huge ringtails running around where ever they felt like, as their electric fence didn't work. I get the feeling it wouldn't have been much of a deterrent either way, as they lithely hopped over it! The marmosets and other small sapien-y beasts were of very much the same mind - He and I definitely liked them best; such cheeky little characters!


Oh, we also got lost on an active, armed airforce base and wandered around for a bit until a squaddie rescued us and pointed us to the museum. The Hellcat plane was fanTAStic.

Saturday 27 September 2008

Mega Mish Mash and More (to come!)

Thank you as always for your patience, it's been a busy couple of weeks with everything falling into place. I will be releasing a special blog later, but here's an update of basic stuff for now.

Game News: SPORE! OMFG!!!!!11!!! L33T! Ahum. Anyway, Spore is just downright addictive. It's not a game, it's a TOY. One you pick up, play with, and have to play with a bit more. There's no "Winning" but the diversity is superb. This is my Faitande, a very successful creature - militaristic and carnivorous primarily, but capable of being omnivorous and good at trading. I've just entered the space era...

Garden News: After pulling up several burnybins full of weeds (choking George) and taming the lavender, the front is looking much tamer and the back much wilder - producing prolific amounts of rhubarb. So much so, we gave some to our lovely neighbours to enjoy too!

Motorbike News: Successfully resprayed bike in luxurious Honda Nighthawk, and the repairs only cost £60, quite a lot less than I'd expected. Thanks to the good folks at Bransons for a sterling job. I also baffled His Lordship by bringing home a full load of shopping on my little bike. I don't have a carrybox yet... I'm also picked on by a flashy thing coming back from one dinky village - one of those that goes "30 slow down 30". It flashes when I'm going 25. Rah!

Fail of the Week: Windows error on a games machine! If you spot any great fails, snap it and send it in. email: indigo_blue_fish@hotmail.co.uk (No junk please.)

Work News: See coming post. Have been having a chuckle with customers regarding the current economical climate; one of the branches I work in has lost the carpetting due to flooding. However, the children love the story that burglars broke in, couldn't get in the safe and stole the carpet instead. The adults like the baliffs version...

Dragon News: Tsam is HUGE. He's over 17" long now, making him bigger than Big Girl Kuleana! He's learning to be less aggressive (we use the "squish technique", using the flat of the hand to push down over the head and shoulders if he tries to attack) and he's learning fast. He's also very pleased with US, as he has more independence thanks to his very own "Dragon Slope".

Dinner News: We had sauteed ostrich steak (rare, yummy) with bushbok crush and vegetables on Sunday, just to give the boys a shock. I waited until Hank had gotten well tucked in, making noises of great appreciation, before telling him. His face was a picture - but it was too good not to eat!

Blogs To Come: Cricket St Thomas Wildlife Park! Watch out for releases later! Includes Marmosets, the Fleet Arm Air Museum and our slight diversion from the normal path.

Movie News: (Bit of a backlog...)

Babylon A.D: I was underwhelmed. I'm sorry, but I was. Alright, it was very pretty in places, but it's like someone took a whole bunch of old storylines, attempted to hash them together in a big Diesel-powered blender (Gettit, Diesel, Vin Diesel... Never mind) and ran out of substance toward the end of the movie. That's the general consensus from most people I have spoken to. "There was a storyline, but then it gave up, leaving the actors standing there like ninnies." Hank and George are waiting for the European version to come out, in the hope that it explains more. It's an hour longer than the English/US waste of time.

Pineapple Express: Very Cheech and Chong, but more uptodate and oddball. A very funny film, had me in hysterics on more than one occasion. A little overdone, but that's all part of the deal. (Gettit, drugs film, deal... Never mind.) The humanity of the characters really got me, well done guys. This one gets a huge amount of respect, go see it.

Step Brothers: His Lordship felt a little let down. "A bit like a lot of Will Farrell stuff, I'll watch it and then think Was It Worth It." It was very childish, even for a deliberately childish film, but I have to credit them with some amusement, they did a good job of regressive acting.

Disaster Movie: "Wasn't the greatest." Ouch, burn. Not quite up to scratch with the Scary Movies and The Spartans. I did love the variety of silly characters, and played by so few cast members. Some good lyrics and the "Princess" was spot on for me. If you're going to see it, see it for her.

Tropic Thunder: Didn't deserve the harsh writeups it's been getting in the paper reviews. It was a rather splendid rip-off/spoof with some magnificent effects. "It's a mishmash of brilliant blokey films. All it was missing was tits."

Quote of the Day: "Rubber worker and part-time plum." An occupational title I spotted at work.

Wednesday 3 September 2008

Silly Saturday...

Well, it's been a manic sort of week from every perspective. I've been shuttled round to a branch down the road, which I thought would be rather good, as they close at 3.30 rather than 5. However, this sort of backfired - the lady that runs the branch likes to START doing the paperwork and suchlike when the doors close. I didn't get out until quarter to 6 on one occasion... The drive there is nice, one long straight and bendy road - I haven't got lost ONCE this week! (Must be a miracle hey?)

Mind you, it sounds like poor Mum hasn't been having an easy week - I'm going to vote my stepfather for this year's King of Fails award. Let me explain. Last Sunday, he thought it would be a good idea to sort out the squeaky floor board in my sister's bedroom doorway before putting the carpet back down, as Mum's been decorating for her. He sorted the squeak, put the carpet down and was taking the last lot of stuff back upstairs... when he noticed water coming through the dining room ceiling. (Interesting note: his brother is a builder by trade, and when he came to do the new bathroom floor, he did the exact same thing - put a nail through the heating pipes and caused flooding.)

Anyway, as it's bank holiday Sunday they had to scrounge various bits of plumbers tape and jubilee clips to last. Tuesday, he manages to do a great job on fixing the hole in the pipe with a new joint. He cleans everything up, takes extra care checking where pipes run, puts carpets back down... Stands up and sets the house alarm off - he forgot the wires to the alarm run under the boards. Mum think he's run his nail through the wire that links the sensors. "He is as much use as a wet fart in a colander!"

Mum also says that you must go buy some Juice Burst Mentos chewing gum in green apple & raspberry. Once you've chewed it a few minutes, apparently it turns into apple and broadbean flavour - "It's great. Until it turns to apple core flavour. Then you get rid of it." (bean thanks to Wiki)

Excuse me a moment... Yup, I've just returned from the kitchen where His Lordship is falling about laughing. He's just taken the lid for the wok out of the cupboard, failed to catch as the shelf fell out, dropped the lid and said shelf. I may have to repair that. Oh well! He was very brave this week and encouraged me to cut his hair for him, so I'll let him off. I've never cut someone's hair before so I was a little nervous, until it turned out to be great fun. Uno pairo clipperythings, lots of hair and lots of "bzzzzzzz" noise. He nearly ended up with a fauxhican, as I'd trimmed down the sides and found the resulting long and wild tuft too funny to stand.

Corrective Note: In "toilet turtle" incident, I would like to assure my readers that my mother was not responsible for said item, she was just unfortunate enough to a) discover it and b) have to deal with it.

Oh dear god, I know why I love Him. I was just taking the hammer into the kitchen to repair the shelf and discovered He's starting to make dinner. He thought He'd save some time chopping veg... He tried to make thin slivers by putting the bell pepper into the winding grater. To my great amusement, the end result is a bowl of green water and a chunk of very odd mush. His thinking was "Well, it grates carrots quite well." He's given up on that as a fail. Congrats, it made the board. And a mess.

Films we've seen recently:
Wild child - yes, I hid on the way in, and hid on the way out. We have unlimited passes for the cinema, I pay a direct debit, and it's cheaper than paying ticket price once a fortnight - great value. Anyway, He was away, I was bored, so I went to the cinema. It's the usual bland reforming US Snobberychild with a bit of obvious "Whodunnit" thrown in. If you have free passes and two hours to waste, meh, it's ok. Just make sure you can get in and out unnoticed.

Mamma Mia - again, He was away, I had unlimited pass and heard lots of good things about it. One person wisely advised me "not to treat it as a comedy, just go to enjoy the music and you'll have a laugh. If you like Abba." Which sums it up quite nicely actually. It's a bit of an older folk's movie, but a giggle if you like seeing Colin Firth dressed up as a punk and then a flare-bedecked, tight and shiny sequinned metallic blue jumpsuit. I won't give the end away, but I was a little dissappointed - I like Mr Firth.

Hellboy, The Golden Army - Exactly what you'd expect if you've seen and enjoyed the first Hellboy movie. We were both suitably pleased (although the young Hellboy was a little bit strange, not quite sure what's going on with the teeth there...) as the mythology, the graphics, and the representation of the Harpy of Death was quite lovely. Although, I expected a bit more of a full on battle, almost Lord of the Ringsy, but not as crap. Anyway, if you've not seen it, please do, this one rates as "Worthy".

Interesting Quote of the Day: "The original version of idiot is idoit." (Idiot is actually a word derived from the Greek ἰδιώτης, idiōtēs - "person lacking professional skill" -ref Yahoo, but if I'm honest, I preferred this one. Read as "I Do It".) - Amom.

Monday 1 September 2008

Bog Brassica II - and The Return.

I apologise straight away, this post may be a little disturbing for some viewers. For those that don't retain a mental age of approximately oooh, five, then please continue to the next post.

This post is about bathroom incidents. You've been warned.

My mum has been quite rightly grossed out this week, as she's been chasing away a rather revolting leftover with such a character that it's been given the name "Toilet Turtle". Simply, it's a very large poo which pretends it's flushed away, until it slowly reappears in the bottom of the bowl. Repeatedly. You can see where the name's come from if you think about it. Not that you probably would like to!

Our more regular readers may possibly remember me relating the story of "The Bog Brassica" and I'd like to add some more details I didn't have at the time. For those who aren't familiar with it, read on. When my mother first moved into the house I first came to know as "home", she discovered a rather... unusual thing. At some point in a previous owner's history, someone had thrown a quarter of a cabbage in the bottom of the utility room toilet. Surprisingly, instead of just being flushed, it remained and survived. Hell, it THRIVED. I was aware that it had become quite a successful cabbage, but I hadn't realised quite how so. This Bog Brassica had grown itself an impressive root system, then gone on to flower vigorously. "It was brushing the ceiling, it was that big." (Pretty cabbage picture (c) Ian Alexander 1996-2005 )

Mind you, talking of plants in bathrooms, I've had to put Mindel in our bathroom as the humidity in the living room is too low and the poor plant is struggling. (He's a Nepenthes Alata, Devil's Red Pitcher Plant) I'm glad to say he's perking up again, boosting out new leaves with potential new pods, and is enjoying fishfood.

Oh, that's reminded me of an incident at my Ex's, before he was the Ex and I spent a lot of time there. They used to have one of these BIG paper sacks full of potatoes down by the side of the toilet in the utility room (simply for somewhere to keep them) that occasionally fell over. One day, when I nipped in there, I realised it'd fallen over again and discovered a large potato in the bottom of the bowl. Not being the brave sort when it comes to toilets, I called upon His Exness to come and fish it out. He's even less brave than I, and attempted to poke out with a loobrush, whilst his brother looked on, grinning. And was even less brave when it crumbled. Ugh! DBob thought it was hilarious and 'fessed up straight away. I saw the funny side. The Ex just vomited. Bravo!

Quote of the Day: "Boycott shampoo! Demand the REAL poo!" - www.porcelainpoetry.faketrix.com