Tuesday 25 December 2012
Sunday 23 December 2012
Thursday 20 December 2012
Saturday 15 December 2012
Things that happened today:
I mostly poked numbers and failed to book more than one appointment. People don't want appointments so close to Chrifsmas.
Rich was at his work's do, so I mooched the reduced price shelves, found nothing interesting (other than asparagus for 80p) and came home in the rain.
My umbrella folded itself up on me twice, somewhat comically. Stomped in a large puddle. Deliberately.
I ate slightly stale crumpets for dinner, having found nothing better at the shop.
Hyphen dribbled on me. You've never met such a drooly dragon.
Jac tried to bite me twice, so I have given him the carpet cutout and a toughened glass mirror. He needs to burn off that aggression and develop a better attitude. I will not tolerate a vicious lizard.
Sandy and Mocha dozed, and I found Tsam asleep and chilled through by the kitchen door. Silly bugger.
Wrapped some more presents. I love gift wrapping.
Rich was at his work's do, so I mooched the reduced price shelves, found nothing interesting (other than asparagus for 80p) and came home in the rain.
My umbrella folded itself up on me twice, somewhat comically. Stomped in a large puddle. Deliberately.
I ate slightly stale crumpets for dinner, having found nothing better at the shop.
Hyphen dribbled on me. You've never met such a drooly dragon.
Jac tried to bite me twice, so I have given him the carpet cutout and a toughened glass mirror. He needs to burn off that aggression and develop a better attitude. I will not tolerate a vicious lizard.
Sandy and Mocha dozed, and I found Tsam asleep and chilled through by the kitchen door. Silly bugger.
Wrapped some more presents. I love gift wrapping.
Thursday 13 December 2012
Badass Animals of the Year 2012
No, this isn't a scene from some weird computer game, nor is it a still frame from a horror movie.This is a live action photo taken by Donna, of a giant preying mantis jumping to attack. In her own words: "They're not huggy pets. Those suckers have sharp claws."
I'm fairly sure this is Hierodula membranacea, badass for not being picky about what it eats - and famous for giving all mantids the "man-eater" reputation due to this habit!
WARNING: SPIDER POST!
IF YOU DON'T LIKE SPIDERS, STOP SCROLLING NOW!
IF YOU DON'T LIKE SPIDERS, STOP SCROLLING NOW!
It is found in Europe and Asia, from the UK to Siberia, and lives in ponds, slow moving streams and shallow lakes, building an underwater retreat from silk, filling it with air it carries from the surface by trapping air bubbles in the hairs that cover its body and legs.
The bubble is bell-shaped with a silvery shine, hence the spider’s latin name Argyroneta - “silvery net”. The spider spends most of its time inside the bell, and only has to replenish the air once in a while. It feeds on whatever aquatic invertebrate they can capture, including backswimmers, water striders and diverse larvae; they also hunt tadpoles and small fish occasionally!
Tuesday 4 December 2012
The first chapter of "42".
There are a lot of theories to the big questions - many with a LOT of evidence to support them. So, rather than go through the pros and cons of them all, I'll take you through the theories I feel are most accurate, theories based on the works of some of the greatest minds on the planet, past and present.
I must point out at this point that I am no expert - I'm merely an interested amateur with a thirst for understanding; clearly you are too, or you wouldn't be here. It is important to note that we do not have all the answers at this current time. This is not to say we will not have the answers, and it certainly doesn't necessarily mean "God did it!". It could be, but we don't have proof for this yet.
For example, we don't fully understand what gravity is - but you don't hear people going "Well, duh! God personally holds us to the ground!", do you? (Unless you're a Pastafarian, obviously! But even so, the Pastafarians understand not to take things utterly seriously...)
The other side of the table of course is that, if we accept "God did it!" as our answer - well, we risk still dying of bad smells and curses! It is only by trying to find answers for ourselves that we actually find answers.
I'm also aware that some of the answers we find are highly technical - and I don't know about you, but I'm no physicist. So, I'm going to try to explain them as clearly as I am able. After all, Albert Einstein himself famously said "If you can't explain something simply, you don't know enough about it. You do not really understand something unless you can explain it to your grandmother."
So, where do we start with such diffiult questions? Well, naturally, we'll start at the beginning!
*******************
The dawn of the first day...
Energy.
Batteries. In your phone, laptop, anything - a battery stores energy in a chemical format. You can then use the energy from that chemical format to emit photons (light beams), another energy format, from your computer screen. You can use it to make sound come from your speakers and some of that energy is turned into vibration by your fan...
Energy comes in lots of "flavours", each of which can be wildly different from the others.Sound is very different from light which is very different from heat. And they're just three examples, in this universe, in your "local" dimensions. They've recently proved that photons work in both wave AND particle form - imagine if water was water waves and then icecubes, all at the same time. Icecubes that flow. Kinda screwy, right?
Welcome to physics.
Someone, and I can't put my finger on whom at this moment, said something along the lines of "If it doesn't scare you a little, you're not understanding it properly." Our little bubble of universe has a big mix of flavours in it - but there could be even more that we haven't even begun to get our heads round.
Anyway, long story short, the upshot of this theory is that prior to, and around the universe, is a different flavour of energy - dimensions are just other versions of flavour, if you will.
The "bubble universe" theory starts out as a transmutation of energies - the Big Bang, some 13.7 billion years ago. Some people understand it as a fissure that spews out amazing amounts of energy - like the back end of a black hole from another dimension, if you could imagine such a thing... (Stephen Hawking does some interesting writing on the types of potential universes in "Universe in a Nutshell: http://www.hawking.org.uk/)
When that fissure originally opened, all kinds of crazy energy suddenly slammed through the hole, converting into the dimensions we're now familiar with (and the ones we ain't! Physics joke also.) and roaring out at amazing speeds. At this point, things are all kinds of crazy and all the fundamental forces are thought to be just one unified force.
Now, Mr Higgs came up with an idea for how these very first energies worked. http://www.ph.ed.ac.uk/higgs/ And just recently, CERN and the LHC found the particle Mr Higgs has been looking for, for so long.
The Higgs Boson.
I'm going to have to grossly oversimplify here. The Higgs Boson created a field, acting as the "fences" of a garden - all this energy was roaring in through the "gate", the fissure, into the garden. Like a garden party, only so many people fit in before they get squished up against the fences - the people behind have to slow down to get in, and then the fence will give way once everyone has jammed in, slowed down and is pushing against it.
I'm guessing you already know the law of states, but just in case, more energy = more excitement. Water is a great example of this: less energy, it becomes ice. More energy, it turns from solid to liquid. Hotter = turn to water, hotter = turn to gas, hotter = turn to plasma...
The fences allowed this quark-gluon plasma to slow down and cool off enough to turn into "liquid" universe, if you'll excuse a physics pun.
We end up with an amazing abundance of photons, and then a whackload of stuff that starts sticking together as it's all cramming through the "gap". The fences collapse and the matter has been expanding ever since, pushing the boundary of the universe ever outward. (You might also be interested to know that this is called the Planck epoch, zero to approximately 10-43 seconds from the event.)
We know this expansion is a fact because of a phenomenon called "microwave background radiation" (leftover heat from this early, extremely hot and dense universe) as well as "Red Shift phasing". That's also pretty tricky to explain in laymans terms - but I'll give it a go.
If you know what the "Doppler effect" is, then you can skip this point to the next set of asterisks - the Doppler effect doesn't just work on sound, it works on light, too. If you don't, please read on as normal.
*******************
"Blue" light travels very VERY fast. The "bluer" it gets, the faster and tighter the waveform.
As it happens, sound does the same thing - when something comes towards you, the soundwave gets pushed forwards, compressed, so the pitch rises. The "Nnnnnnneeeeeee" as a racecar comes roaring towards you, it always goes up in sound.
Light does the same thing, technically - as it not only behaves like particles, it also behaves like a wave.
The tighter the compression, the "bluer" the light, all the way up into ultraviolet, xrays and stuff. The wider the frequency, and the light goes red - all the way to infrared (that's heat to you) and beyond... Or "Yooooowwwwwwwnnnng!" as the pitch of the engine note from the car now hurtling away from you goes - dropping in tone.
*******************
The Red Shift properly applies to "the standard model" - the universe in "liquid" state, a few picoseconds after the beginning.
And after the beginning... came the early universe. Though it took over 400,000 years for everything to calm down enough for nuclei to capture electrons!
Once atoms started to form, the universe really started to evolve....
I must point out at this point that I am no expert - I'm merely an interested amateur with a thirst for understanding; clearly you are too, or you wouldn't be here. It is important to note that we do not have all the answers at this current time. This is not to say we will not have the answers, and it certainly doesn't necessarily mean "God did it!". It could be, but we don't have proof for this yet.
For example, we don't fully understand what gravity is - but you don't hear people going "Well, duh! God personally holds us to the ground!", do you? (Unless you're a Pastafarian, obviously! But even so, the Pastafarians understand not to take things utterly seriously...)
The other side of the table of course is that, if we accept "God did it!" as our answer - well, we risk still dying of bad smells and curses! It is only by trying to find answers for ourselves that we actually find answers.
I'm also aware that some of the answers we find are highly technical - and I don't know about you, but I'm no physicist. So, I'm going to try to explain them as clearly as I am able. After all, Albert Einstein himself famously said "If you can't explain something simply, you don't know enough about it. You do not really understand something unless you can explain it to your grandmother."
So, where do we start with such diffiult questions? Well, naturally, we'll start at the beginning!
*******************
The dawn of the first day...
Energy.
Batteries. In your phone, laptop, anything - a battery stores energy in a chemical format. You can then use the energy from that chemical format to emit photons (light beams), another energy format, from your computer screen. You can use it to make sound come from your speakers and some of that energy is turned into vibration by your fan...
Energy comes in lots of "flavours", each of which can be wildly different from the others.Sound is very different from light which is very different from heat. And they're just three examples, in this universe, in your "local" dimensions. They've recently proved that photons work in both wave AND particle form - imagine if water was water waves and then icecubes, all at the same time. Icecubes that flow. Kinda screwy, right?
Welcome to physics.
Someone, and I can't put my finger on whom at this moment, said something along the lines of "If it doesn't scare you a little, you're not understanding it properly." Our little bubble of universe has a big mix of flavours in it - but there could be even more that we haven't even begun to get our heads round.
Anyway, long story short, the upshot of this theory is that prior to, and around the universe, is a different flavour of energy - dimensions are just other versions of flavour, if you will.
The "bubble universe" theory starts out as a transmutation of energies - the Big Bang, some 13.7 billion years ago. Some people understand it as a fissure that spews out amazing amounts of energy - like the back end of a black hole from another dimension, if you could imagine such a thing... (Stephen Hawking does some interesting writing on the types of potential universes in "Universe in a Nutshell: http://www.hawking.org.uk/)
When that fissure originally opened, all kinds of crazy energy suddenly slammed through the hole, converting into the dimensions we're now familiar with (and the ones we ain't! Physics joke also.) and roaring out at amazing speeds. At this point, things are all kinds of crazy and all the fundamental forces are thought to be just one unified force.
Now, Mr Higgs came up with an idea for how these very first energies worked. http://www.ph.ed.ac.uk/higgs/ And just recently, CERN and the LHC found the particle Mr Higgs has been looking for, for so long.
The Higgs Boson.
I'm going to have to grossly oversimplify here. The Higgs Boson created a field, acting as the "fences" of a garden - all this energy was roaring in through the "gate", the fissure, into the garden. Like a garden party, only so many people fit in before they get squished up against the fences - the people behind have to slow down to get in, and then the fence will give way once everyone has jammed in, slowed down and is pushing against it.
I'm guessing you already know the law of states, but just in case, more energy = more excitement. Water is a great example of this: less energy, it becomes ice. More energy, it turns from solid to liquid. Hotter = turn to water, hotter = turn to gas, hotter = turn to plasma...
The fences allowed this quark-gluon plasma to slow down and cool off enough to turn into "liquid" universe, if you'll excuse a physics pun.
We end up with an amazing abundance of photons, and then a whackload of stuff that starts sticking together as it's all cramming through the "gap". The fences collapse and the matter has been expanding ever since, pushing the boundary of the universe ever outward. (You might also be interested to know that this is called the Planck epoch, zero to approximately 10-43 seconds from the event.)
We know this expansion is a fact because of a phenomenon called "microwave background radiation" (leftover heat from this early, extremely hot and dense universe) as well as "Red Shift phasing". That's also pretty tricky to explain in laymans terms - but I'll give it a go.
If you know what the "Doppler effect" is, then you can skip this point to the next set of asterisks - the Doppler effect doesn't just work on sound, it works on light, too. If you don't, please read on as normal.
*******************
"Blue" light travels very VERY fast. The "bluer" it gets, the faster and tighter the waveform.
As it happens, sound does the same thing - when something comes towards you, the soundwave gets pushed forwards, compressed, so the pitch rises. The "Nnnnnnneeeeeee" as a racecar comes roaring towards you, it always goes up in sound.
Light does the same thing, technically - as it not only behaves like particles, it also behaves like a wave.
The tighter the compression, the "bluer" the light, all the way up into ultraviolet, xrays and stuff. The wider the frequency, and the light goes red - all the way to infrared (that's heat to you) and beyond... Or "Yooooowwwwwwwnnnng!" as the pitch of the engine note from the car now hurtling away from you goes - dropping in tone.
*******************
The Red Shift properly applies to "the standard model" - the universe in "liquid" state, a few picoseconds after the beginning.
And after the beginning... came the early universe. Though it took over 400,000 years for everything to calm down enough for nuclei to capture electrons!
Once atoms started to form, the universe really started to evolve....
Saturday 1 December 2012
Maubles.
I love this time of year. Everyone I know knows that I am mad about decorations, in particular, baubles.I've hardly bought any new ornaments this year... Well, I get told off if I buy more. I do have five big suitcase sized boxes, each with a different colour colour collection, after all. In fairness though, they're usually bought when the sales start, and tucked away carefully for another year.
I confess to buying a couple including these rather beautiful 2 for 3 gems I discovered hiding in Marks & Spencers. And yes, that is a big handful of loose sequin stars floating round in there!
(UPDATE: It was kind of lucky I did - apparently people go MENTAL in the sales- there were NONE left when I went out the day after Boxing Day! I mean seriously, the shelves were literally empty and Marks and Sparks staff were dragging empty units out!)
Ooh, and these were another bargain at 50p for a box of 12.
I mean, yeah, they're only plastic, but they're nice space fillers in bright metallic red and matching glitter red, which go well with my black and red theme this year.
Your "icicle" bauble is traditionally glass or crystal (and I confess, I have got some long glass ones in silver sparkle tarnish stashed away somewhere!) and I don't normally buy plastic - but seriously, they're actually pretty nice. I bet you wouldn't have known if I hadn't told you!
Pastafarians have the fortune of having one of the longest festive seasons of all religions, going throughout December AND January - and believe me, I have been making the MOST of it. First of December, these suckers went STRAIGHT on our £3.50 summer bargain jet black tree along with some cherry globe LED lights.
Funky!
Yes, it does have a spiked base under that wide bell and there's something very... sexy about this shape, especially when it's been crafted in this darkly lustrous red glass. Opaque, glossy, decidedly metallic under the deep red glaze, it has a certain sense of class!
I've always preferred glass baubles for the craftsmanship that goes into them, and for their fragile, fleeting nature. It adds to the preciousness for me, knowing that once they're gone, they're gone!
Actually - I think I have more baubles than items of jewellery for myself...
Worth it.
And then sometimes, you find something that's just deliciously tacky. Alright, I know I said I prefer glass baubles, but you don't find quite so many peculiar glass ones in funky designs, and c'mon, you can't deny it in all honesty - that's just adorable, isn't it?!
After all, it's the perfect counterpoint to the very grown up, sensible "Onions" - they were so kooky, I couldn't resist; especially when they were on sale at 99p for a box of four!
The rest of the black tinsel tree was decorated with some space filler gloss plain black baubles and matching glitter ones to add a subtle dimension to the reds, sparkly silver stars decorated the room, and my summer bargains provided a nice surprise...
Those ones are clear roundy onions - that pop open in half. Luckily, it happens to be that Thornton's Cherry Kirsch chocolates come in red metal foil and are the perfect size to pop just the one in the middle of each little bauble.
Chocolate baubles with a difference!
Wednesday 28 November 2012
Things I learned this month:
Dysarthria is a speech disorder where the muscles required literally won't play ball to help pronounce words.
Stephen Hawking has my favourite kind of sense of humour. The man is one of the most spectacularly intelligent people in history, and quite frankly I'm overawed and a little intimidated by his scary smarts - but he explains things so neatly, never being patronizing and often with light heartedness... I aspire to be that kind of person.
I discovered an appreciation for associating abstract concepts, such as a how a train and a bicycle, a watch and a ruler, or music and painting are similar... Seems silly, but don't you feel a little bit good for going "Oh yeah, those are examples of..."
Which lead me to discover "neologism"; a new word when you can't grab the one you want. Portmanteaus are "old versions" of neologisms, such as "brunch". Breakfast and Lunch. Or "tellypresser". ;)
Other discoveries included finding out that if His Lordship catches me drinking his tea and goes "Noooooo." in such a way as to make me laugh, I can turn into a tea-geyser. Everything smelled like tea for ages.
And that the Hawaiian lava flats look AMAZING. Oh, and that you can have dinner on them, as my friend Buddhini proved. Lava-grilled sausages. Mmmmm.
Ooh, and check out: http://www.nsf.gov/index.jsp
Stephen Hawking has my favourite kind of sense of humour. The man is one of the most spectacularly intelligent people in history, and quite frankly I'm overawed and a little intimidated by his scary smarts - but he explains things so neatly, never being patronizing and often with light heartedness... I aspire to be that kind of person.
(Page sample snapped from "Universe in a Nutshell")
I discovered an appreciation for associating abstract concepts, such as a how a train and a bicycle, a watch and a ruler, or music and painting are similar... Seems silly, but don't you feel a little bit good for going "Oh yeah, those are examples of..."
Which lead me to discover "neologism"; a new word when you can't grab the one you want. Portmanteaus are "old versions" of neologisms, such as "brunch". Breakfast and Lunch. Or "tellypresser". ;)
Other discoveries included finding out that if His Lordship catches me drinking his tea and goes "Noooooo." in such a way as to make me laugh, I can turn into a tea-geyser. Everything smelled like tea for ages.
And that the Hawaiian lava flats look AMAZING. Oh, and that you can have dinner on them, as my friend Buddhini proved. Lava-grilled sausages. Mmmmm.
Ooh, and check out: http://www.nsf.gov/index.jsp
Sunday 25 November 2012
A certain Tstupid lizard managed to hurt his eye last Saturday, throwing himself out of his tank to get at Hyphen and clunked it on the edge of his door, giving himself a minor abrasion on his cornea.He's sat on his hut, eye shut, mouth open. I poked him gently in the ribs. He opened his eye. "Wut?" and shut it. Opened it again. "You still here? What do you want?" and closed it.
Blueberries make him sad. He does not want a blueberry. Oh... sweeties? YEAH! Sweeties make EVERYTHING better!
Most corneal scratches heal in less than a week, and the infection risk rate is less than 0.7% when it's properly cleaned - but that doesn't stop it being very sore. The biscuit bit from bourbon biscuits is also apparently a good pain killer.
Jam woke up as I came through the room (on my way to work), gave me a mournful look and scratched her nose on her bedpost. I leaned in and gave her flaky eye a good scratch and lifted off the loose scales.It's the most adorable thing ever, by the way - having figured out that humans are good itching-tools and easily manipulated into providing their services more efficiently than the bedpost - Jam really gets into her scratches, like a cat enjoying a good fuss, leaning into your hand and almost purring!
Happily de-itched, she then pointed out her bowl was empty...
So here's Jam, almost having breakfast in bed. Lucky bloody lizard!
Friday 23 November 2012
Pasta.
WARNING: RELIGIOUS RANT!
So, as most of you know, I regularly tangle with religious fundamentalists, and I'm very patient with them, despite some very peculiar ideas, like the Young Earth theory, or this one... (Which Zak is busy dealing with, here.)
However, when dealing with one overly-zealous preacher whom kept forcing his views at me after repeated polite requests to desist, I surprised myself with the sheer volume of sauce that rose - until my pan overfloweth. (For those familiar with the Bible, you might recognise which bits are in response to his quotes!)
And lo, the mighty carbohydrated deity said unto us, let there not be inflexibility in the world - let us all mingle peacefully in the warmth of the waters, so that we will be happy amongst our bretheren, be they spaghetti, fusili or conchiglie!
And for those whom cannot partake of the gluten based carbohydrate, let them also understand that gnocci is perfectly acceptable, based on potato, though it is.
For even those whom cannot sup of the mighty marinara lest it be harming the animals from whence the meat is taken, let them be accepted also, with succulent sides of tofu or quorn - and let them not be preachy gits about it, for we know the suffering that commences, and we do what we can to alleviate it with kindness and free range produce.
Those that be condemning thee with threats of torture and misery, forgive them - they know not the harm they do, they are ignorant and without carbohydrates to give them the blood sugar boost they so desperately need.
One day they will understand that it is not hellfire - there is no hellfire. Just a mighty flame over which the pot of the universe simmers, with all of us safely gathered, sifted from the waters of trivial day-to-day inanities, and served in fine dishes at the table of heaven.
About noontime, the table was laid, the bowls were set, the checkered tablecloth resplendent in its Italian Bistro red - and thus we partook of his kindness, so that we could work harder for the afternoon and put right the parts of the world that we could.
I hope that you can accept other people for who they are. I pray that given time and warmth, you can become flexible like the spaghetti, yet, like the spaghetti, still retain the full essence of what you are. You will be able to happily mingle in peace with all others in the colander of society, be they conchiglie or fusilli - I believe that one day you will understand your fellow man and find compassion for the souls of others.
We are all in the same pan. We are all of the same stuff, yet varied in shape and colour. I hope for a better future and understanding. We do not have hell, where I am from. We simply have justice, and peace.
R'Amen.
I also draw the line HERE. Yes, they're saying: "Believe in God, or Risk Twelve Months in Prison in Kentucky!"
So, as most of you know, I regularly tangle with religious fundamentalists, and I'm very patient with them, despite some very peculiar ideas, like the Young Earth theory, or this one... (Which Zak is busy dealing with, here.)
However, when dealing with one overly-zealous preacher whom kept forcing his views at me after repeated polite requests to desist, I surprised myself with the sheer volume of sauce that rose - until my pan overfloweth. (For those familiar with the Bible, you might recognise which bits are in response to his quotes!)
And lo, the mighty carbohydrated deity said unto us, let there not be inflexibility in the world - let us all mingle peacefully in the warmth of the waters, so that we will be happy amongst our bretheren, be they spaghetti, fusili or conchiglie!
And for those whom cannot partake of the gluten based carbohydrate, let them also understand that gnocci is perfectly acceptable, based on potato, though it is.
For even those whom cannot sup of the mighty marinara lest it be harming the animals from whence the meat is taken, let them be accepted also, with succulent sides of tofu or quorn - and let them not be preachy gits about it, for we know the suffering that commences, and we do what we can to alleviate it with kindness and free range produce.
Those that be condemning thee with threats of torture and misery, forgive them - they know not the harm they do, they are ignorant and without carbohydrates to give them the blood sugar boost they so desperately need.
One day they will understand that it is not hellfire - there is no hellfire. Just a mighty flame over which the pot of the universe simmers, with all of us safely gathered, sifted from the waters of trivial day-to-day inanities, and served in fine dishes at the table of heaven.
About noontime, the table was laid, the bowls were set, the checkered tablecloth resplendent in its Italian Bistro red - and thus we partook of his kindness, so that we could work harder for the afternoon and put right the parts of the world that we could.
I hope that you can accept other people for who they are. I pray that given time and warmth, you can become flexible like the spaghetti, yet, like the spaghetti, still retain the full essence of what you are. You will be able to happily mingle in peace with all others in the colander of society, be they conchiglie or fusilli - I believe that one day you will understand your fellow man and find compassion for the souls of others.
We are all in the same pan. We are all of the same stuff, yet varied in shape and colour. I hope for a better future and understanding. We do not have hell, where I am from. We simply have justice, and peace.
R'Amen.
I also draw the line HERE. Yes, they're saying: "Believe in God, or Risk Twelve Months in Prison in Kentucky!"
Sunday 18 November 2012
Jacjacattack!
I really don't know how these guys see it and I can only imagine it generates this response because it looks kind of scaly.
Now Hyphen's over it, Jac has a problem with it. And he is literally teeth deep in that thing
Never mind - he might be a weird little lizard, but his character is coming out and his attitude is slowly improving. He's still got a very "I can manage for myself, I am an island, I do not require your assistance woman" attitude and a mighty scowl, on par to Clint Eastwood's bulldog/wasp expression, which has earned him his new moniker: He is now Jacques in-parenthesis von Cleef.
It goes very well with his almost-adorable and somewhat hilarious fits of anger, the target of which is as diverse as the directions of the wind.
He thought about picking a fight with His Lordship's slippers - but decided my phone was an easier target and let teethmarks in the cover. He then beat up the skirting board until I fetched the carpet slope for him to maul, before chasing His Lordship's jeans cuffs around the living room, earning himself a few gentle scoots of discouragement.
Not bad for a sick, raggedy skin and bones, parasite ridden lizard with a seriously bad attitude just three months ago, is it?
Now Hyphen's over it, Jac has a problem with it. And he is literally teeth deep in that thing
Never mind - he might be a weird little lizard, but his character is coming out and his attitude is slowly improving. He's still got a very "I can manage for myself, I am an island, I do not require your assistance woman" attitude and a mighty scowl, on par to Clint Eastwood's bulldog/wasp expression, which has earned him his new moniker: He is now Jacques in-parenthesis von Cleef.
He thought about picking a fight with His Lordship's slippers - but decided my phone was an easier target and let teethmarks in the cover. He then beat up the skirting board until I fetched the carpet slope for him to maul, before chasing His Lordship's jeans cuffs around the living room, earning himself a few gentle scoots of discouragement.
Not bad for a sick, raggedy skin and bones, parasite ridden lizard with a seriously bad attitude just three months ago, is it?
Tuesday 13 November 2012
Pastafarian Passports?
Yahhharrr - I am an OFFICIAL CITIZEN of the High Seas!
The Terramar Project is about raising awareness, transparency and responsibility for the oceans. Donations received help support education initiatives, technology, research and expeditions, supporting training programmes and other environmentally based projects. (Heads up - the donate link doesn't work well in Chrome. It does still work in shudders Internet Explorer though.)
Claim yer patch, raise yer flag - it matters not whether ye be pirate; we all live on this same planet together, so let us protect it! You can find my location of citizenship here: 53° 34' 58.09" N, 0° 5' 34.75" E
I am a officially citizen of the High Seas, just like a Pirate should be!
Thursday 8 November 2012
Warning: emotional topic (not about me)
Over the last month (yes, I'm doing a hefty catchup!) I've been debating euthanasia, abortion and right-to-life topics at length with people whom hold "sanctity of life" in the highest order.
There's a woman on a pro-life forum saying that she's totally cool with letting potentially many thousands of women each year die from ectopic pregnancy, rather than treat it - all because it will be an "abortion". Bearing in mind a tubular ectopic pregnancy has ZERO chance of the baby surviving. She justifies it: "If the mother is at risk of losing her life, that's a risk all mothers take. All mothers should be prepared to make that sacrifice." I can't agree with you. A raped woman has not made that choice.
Anyway THIS LINKIE was particular case was a breakthrough for my argument on "sanctity of life".
"The judge said that “with a heavy heart” he had to agree to the hospital’s request to withdraw life-sustaining treatment as doctors and nurses agreed that all further interventions would be futile - the child was at risk of further complications and infection as well as already being seriously ill."
This is the bit that makes me particularly sad...
"The boy’s 17-year-old sister said her brother had told her that he believed God could heal him, and it was his faith that had sustained him until now."
In this case, she's wrong. It wasn't so much faith or deity - it was medical science. They turned the machine off, he died. God didn't step in and sustain him. Your faith is commendable but, I fear, unfounded. It's one of the reasons I have a very hard time believing in a God that is omnipresent and omniscient. It's one of the reasons I prefer my fallible god.
I was extremely interested to notice that out of 213 voters on one poll on the Pastafarian forum, only two votes were against. One of which turned out to be a complete troll, and promptly blocked - and the other of which turns out to be a Christian and ID proponent.
There's a woman on a pro-life forum saying that she's totally cool with letting potentially many thousands of women each year die from ectopic pregnancy, rather than treat it - all because it will be an "abortion". Bearing in mind a tubular ectopic pregnancy has ZERO chance of the baby surviving. She justifies it: "If the mother is at risk of losing her life, that's a risk all mothers take. All mothers should be prepared to make that sacrifice." I can't agree with you. A raped woman has not made that choice.
Anyway THIS LINKIE was particular case was a breakthrough for my argument on "sanctity of life".
"The judge said that “with a heavy heart” he had to agree to the hospital’s request to withdraw life-sustaining treatment as doctors and nurses agreed that all further interventions would be futile - the child was at risk of further complications and infection as well as already being seriously ill."
This is the bit that makes me particularly sad...
"The boy’s 17-year-old sister said her brother had told her that he believed God could heal him, and it was his faith that had sustained him until now."
In this case, she's wrong. It wasn't so much faith or deity - it was medical science. They turned the machine off, he died. God didn't step in and sustain him. Your faith is commendable but, I fear, unfounded. It's one of the reasons I have a very hard time believing in a God that is omnipresent and omniscient. It's one of the reasons I prefer my fallible god.
I was extremely interested to notice that out of 213 voters on one poll on the Pastafarian forum, only two votes were against. One of which turned out to be a complete troll, and promptly blocked - and the other of which turns out to be a Christian and ID proponent.
Friday 2 November 2012
More stuff I have learned recently...
Today, I learned that cockroaches don't carry oxygen in their blood. I was aware their blood is clear and that they have tubes allowing air to penetrate into the body, but it hadn't occurred to me that they didn't circulate oxygen.
I also learned the Baha'i faith believe that demons are merely metaphors for the worst parts of human imperfection and don't exist in the real or spiritual realms.
I DEFINITELY learned that the FSM has a sense of humour as well as a sense of Karmic Justice. I swear on my own life that I haven't made any of this up - I'm literally crying in pain, I'm laughing so hard.
His Lordship was having a bit of a rant how he never gets a weekend off to do his things and, whilst he appreciates how nice it is of (usually my grandmother!) to invite him to dinner, afternoons out and such, he hasn't had a single Sunday to himself to do his stuff lately.
And midway through this self-same mini-rant, my grandmother called to apologise that she wouldn't be able to offer us dinner after all; my grandfather's new medication is causing him problems and he's gone to sleep it off instead.
At which point he looked thoroughly hard-done by and guilty, cursing "There MUST be a god after all, only the Flying Spaghetti Monster would dick around like this!"
Poor chap. I understood what he was saying though, and he didn't mind too much that I was laughing my ass off at this point, pausing the telly (yay cable TV!) to let me finish hooting.
He came over to apologise and rant a bit more at the ass that is my joker of a god (and by default as a non-deistic Pastafarian, technically his), and as I hugged him and he apologised... the TV spontaneously unpaused itself, randomly selecting a music channel... at the very perfect, precise point where Blink182's singer Tom DeLonge sings... "and I'm so sorry!"
Sending him off in a further ranty "God is a douche!" laughterstorm.
Serves him right. Gifthorse dentistry and all that.
And Hyphen reconfirmed his status as still a loveable idiot.
I also learned the Baha'i faith believe that demons are merely metaphors for the worst parts of human imperfection and don't exist in the real or spiritual realms.
I DEFINITELY learned that the FSM has a sense of humour as well as a sense of Karmic Justice. I swear on my own life that I haven't made any of this up - I'm literally crying in pain, I'm laughing so hard.
His Lordship was having a bit of a rant how he never gets a weekend off to do his things and, whilst he appreciates how nice it is of (usually my grandmother!) to invite him to dinner, afternoons out and such, he hasn't had a single Sunday to himself to do his stuff lately.
And midway through this self-same mini-rant, my grandmother called to apologise that she wouldn't be able to offer us dinner after all; my grandfather's new medication is causing him problems and he's gone to sleep it off instead.
At which point he looked thoroughly hard-done by and guilty, cursing "There MUST be a god after all, only the Flying Spaghetti Monster would dick around like this!" Poor chap. I understood what he was saying though, and he didn't mind too much that I was laughing my ass off at this point, pausing the telly (yay cable TV!) to let me finish hooting.
He came over to apologise and rant a bit more at the ass that is my joker of a god (and by default as a non-deistic Pastafarian, technically his), and as I hugged him and he apologised... the TV spontaneously unpaused itself, randomly selecting a music channel... at the very perfect, precise point where Blink182's singer Tom DeLonge sings... "and I'm so sorry!"
Sending him off in a further ranty "God is a douche!" laughterstorm.
Serves him right. Gifthorse dentistry and all that.
And Hyphen reconfirmed his status as still a loveable idiot.
Monday 29 October 2012
Games Night
This involves:
Spaghetti and meatballs and beer.
Games. (Mostly DooM)
Red Dwarf.
Movies.
For those that don't follow tabletop games, DooM was (and is) originally a series of computer games - a science experiment on the Mars base goes badly wrong, unleashing and transmuting from the people there a whole bunch of demons with bad attitude and worse breath.
The tabletop version is exactly that - you're a little figurine (with your team, if you're lucky!) trying to fight your way through to safety. In the picture above, I am the little green marine in serious trouble. I have severe doubts as to whether I'll get to that first aid kit in time, as I'm about to get my head punched in from multiple directions by those hulking great Hellknights.
They're literally big grey versions of the Hulk. With a less reasonable personality.
Friday 26 October 2012
Things I have learned lately.
In 1409 Fiore di Liberi from Friuli in Italy, wrote a treatise on combat. Part of his treatise included a weapon with a hollowed out hammer filled with chilli powder; an enemy would try to block a hammer being swung at them - the resulting percussive force would throw the powder into their eyes blinding them!
You can use Google to super-power your searches, by using the right "codes":
I discovered that the Mursi women wear lip-disks as a sign of pride and maturity, and that the rest of the world have some very different concepts of beauty. I particularly like the Mauritanian ideal of "the perfect woman" - they like 'em big.
I've realised that religious intolerance annoys me deeply. I'm sick to the teeth of religions based on the same flaming fundamental principles having the cheek to turn round and say "because my god said so." There are over 2000 gods documented in modern history, so that's a rubbish answer. You can't ALL be individually right, and I'm certainly not going to take anyone's word for it without proof. And don't be ridiculous and quote passages from your religious book at me as "proof" because, you know what? Here's news for you! All the other religions can do the same blooming thing!
I am starstuff. I am a tiny part of the whole, and my components formed in the heart of a massive, ancient star, then flung to the far corners by its violent death. The universe will continue without me, and I am content with this concept.
I also found out that the national rail don't specify what time the disturbance they're apologising for is going to be. I wasn't surprised to discover it meant they would have a team of two diggers, a massive roller thing and other assorted caterpillar tracked machines trundling around just a few doors down... But I hadn't realised they meant it would be at one in the bloody morning!
Mind you, at least it prepared me for this: http://knottyboys.com/
You can use Google to super-power your searches, by using the right "codes":
I discovered that the Mursi women wear lip-disks as a sign of pride and maturity, and that the rest of the world have some very different concepts of beauty. I particularly like the Mauritanian ideal of "the perfect woman" - they like 'em big.
I've realised that religious intolerance annoys me deeply. I'm sick to the teeth of religions based on the same flaming fundamental principles having the cheek to turn round and say "because my god said so." There are over 2000 gods documented in modern history, so that's a rubbish answer. You can't ALL be individually right, and I'm certainly not going to take anyone's word for it without proof. And don't be ridiculous and quote passages from your religious book at me as "proof" because, you know what? Here's news for you! All the other religions can do the same blooming thing!
I am starstuff. I am a tiny part of the whole, and my components formed in the heart of a massive, ancient star, then flung to the far corners by its violent death. The universe will continue without me, and I am content with this concept.
I also found out that the national rail don't specify what time the disturbance they're apologising for is going to be. I wasn't surprised to discover it meant they would have a team of two diggers, a massive roller thing and other assorted caterpillar tracked machines trundling around just a few doors down... But I hadn't realised they meant it would be at one in the bloody morning!
Mind you, at least it prepared me for this: http://knottyboys.com/
Sunday 21 October 2012
Reptile Awareness Day!
Tsam was attentive this evening as usual, watching me from his comfy spot on his hut as I prepared dinners (sneaking him a few choice shreds of green spring cabbage) and wriggling contentedly when I gave his head a noogie. He was sad to hear about Noa, but understood and shut his eyes - he'd been there when my first lizard passed away from what we suspect was the same thing.
Sandy was happy to chat for a while, giving me her wise, slow blink. I'm sure she understands the tone, if not the meaning - and her opinion seems to be that when a bad thing happens, sometimes a good thing will come along later. She was good friends with Kyle, and moved into her tank; she reminded me that, oddly, just days later, Mocha arrived in desperate need. Though she did tell me off when I took the bit of dried, crumbly scale off her beard. I told her off in return for not letting me get it, miserable cow - she'd be much cheerier if she didn't sit in the cold end - so she parked herself under her heatlamp for a bit until she felt she'd got a solar powered grin ready.
Jam had already sat up at her window and plonked a hand firmly on it, ready for some fussings. First thing she does when I open her door is greet me with a lick to make sure I am actually me. And to see if there's anything tasty. She's always good for hugs on a glum day. Or a rainy day. Or a sunny day. Or a happy day. Or any day, really. Today was a day where hugs were clearly required.I also love how Jam sleeps like a people in her bed. I really need to sort a mattress and some bed clothes for her.
Hyphen gazed at me. Hyphen gazed at his salad. He's young and stupid. Hyphen went back to sleep. He's happy and oblivious, as usual.
Ditto Mocha after a quick sip of syringe water (though not without her usual furious argument about the whole thing); she reckons she's brumating. She occasionally deigns to open just one of her eyes - she's grumpy because she's trying to sleep and she's being quite clear what she thinks as to the disturbance. Everything radiates a quiet air of "piss off".
Jacques is still baffled by this whole human interaction and discussion thing.
But then again, for a dragon that doesn't understand that he will get food every day (or whenever he needs it, if he chooses not to eat every day later) I can understand this.
Whilst it is cute to watch him leap down and hog his dinner as if someone is going to take it away in the next five seconds and he won't get any more for the rest of the month, it will be nice to see him relax into a proper dragon.
Raspberry... we meet again.
(221g and counting!)
Saturday 13 October 2012
Fix the finances
Right! I have had enough of my budget being out of whack. I am on the monetary war-path!
First up - household bills. I had a word with my gas and electricity suppliers whom I've had for all of six weeks and told them to go bite it. I mean, really, £60 a month for gas?! Who are you kidding, British Gas? You're supposed to be the gas supplier of Britain, surely - so why's yours so expensive and why can other people do your gas for cheaper?!
I've now switched to NPower's Jan 14 deal instead, as it's something like £186 a year cheaper than what I'm currently paying.
Second up - the mobiles. I'm fed up of my so called awesome contract costing me the freakin' earth, especially when I've barely used the freakin' thing. Orange, you can go screw off - your customer service dudes have been lousy, consistently so. When my SIM stopped working, your dudes told me I had to have a whole new phone and buy out of my old contract to do so! I went to Carphone Warehouse where they discovered it was only my SIM card that had failed and ordered me an emergency replacement SIM.
My phone was fixed within three days, for free - as opposed to £120 to buy out of my new contract plus whatever it would cost for a new one plus phone that I didn't actually need. Jerks. So, as my contract is due up in a couple of weeks, you can shove that bit of paper in any orifice you please. I'm going to Giffgaff. I mean, £10 a month for unlimited texts, internet and 250 minutes complete with free Giff-to-Gaff minutes and texts? Yes please! That's £15 cheaper than my current "contract rate", and with more stuff.
I already have the cheapest two year mortgage I can get, and the cheapest insurance available. I've just restocked half of my store cupboards on BOGOF favourites, so I'm feeling comfortable now we have plenty to eat just-in-case, and I'm finding a new supplier for locusts.
Can anyone else think of a way to cut back more of my bills and save money? I might have to sell some old stuff on eBay next, and sign up to places like Fiver with my skills...
First up - household bills. I had a word with my gas and electricity suppliers whom I've had for all of six weeks and told them to go bite it. I mean, really, £60 a month for gas?! Who are you kidding, British Gas? You're supposed to be the gas supplier of Britain, surely - so why's yours so expensive and why can other people do your gas for cheaper?!
I've now switched to NPower's Jan 14 deal instead, as it's something like £186 a year cheaper than what I'm currently paying.
Second up - the mobiles. I'm fed up of my so called awesome contract costing me the freakin' earth, especially when I've barely used the freakin' thing. Orange, you can go screw off - your customer service dudes have been lousy, consistently so. When my SIM stopped working, your dudes told me I had to have a whole new phone and buy out of my old contract to do so! I went to Carphone Warehouse where they discovered it was only my SIM card that had failed and ordered me an emergency replacement SIM.
My phone was fixed within three days, for free - as opposed to £120 to buy out of my new contract plus whatever it would cost for a new one plus phone that I didn't actually need. Jerks. So, as my contract is due up in a couple of weeks, you can shove that bit of paper in any orifice you please. I'm going to Giffgaff. I mean, £10 a month for unlimited texts, internet and 250 minutes complete with free Giff-to-Gaff minutes and texts? Yes please! That's £15 cheaper than my current "contract rate", and with more stuff.
I already have the cheapest two year mortgage I can get, and the cheapest insurance available. I've just restocked half of my store cupboards on BOGOF favourites, so I'm feeling comfortable now we have plenty to eat just-in-case, and I'm finding a new supplier for locusts.
Can anyone else think of a way to cut back more of my bills and save money? I might have to sell some old stuff on eBay next, and sign up to places like Fiver with my skills...
Wednesday 10 October 2012
Multidenominational!
I'm now officially multidenominational - I've just been accepted as a minister of the Universal Life Church. Not that it was difficult; anyone can be accepted. It doesn't matter what your religion is. That's the point.
However, I've done it for a good reason: the ULC have the same basic standards as Pastafarianism - they just don't have the pirate and pasta goodness - but they have no problems with the pirate and pasta goodness! Part of a minister's duty (in most religions) is to absolve sins. Now, Pastafarians have no concept of "original sin" or "hell", but the ULC understands other people do, so ULCism now "upgrades" me to be able to absolve original sin, whilst keeping my concept of no hell.
However, I've done it for a good reason: the ULC have the same basic standards as Pastafarianism - they just don't have the pirate and pasta goodness - but they have no problems with the pirate and pasta goodness! Part of a minister's duty (in most religions) is to absolve sins. Now, Pastafarians have no concept of "original sin" or "hell", but the ULC understands other people do, so ULCism now "upgrades" me to be able to absolve original sin, whilst keeping my concept of no hell.
Friday 5 October 2012
F you Flu!
On the plus side, my new bathroom is kinda cosy, my new bath mat surprisingly comfy and the P shaped bath means there's a nice curve to lean from. The things you learn, hey?
In no particular order however, these are some of the things that have made me feel a little better today:
Sweet chilli chicken sandwiches, custard doughnuts, Thorntons Chocolates, Rich, cups of tea, lizards, TiVo, the tiler doing a good job, seriously cute stuff on the internet, my parcels arriving on time, grapes and Stephen Hawking.
I also emailed one of the physicists working on the "quantum pacemaker" with Rich's recipe for melted cheese and received a joke back in return: "You know what they say about Heisenburg's sex life? When he has the time, he can't find the energy, and when he finds the right position he can't get enough momentum."
Which of course prompted an outbreak of spectacular physics jokes from the nerdier of my friends (including two molecular biologists and a dude who writes care manuals for super magnets, installed at places like CERN.) The best has to be this one:
Heisenberg and Schrodinger are pulled over by a traffic cop. The cop says, "Do you know how fast you were going?"
Heisenberg replies helpfully, "No, but I know where I am."
The cop says, "You were going 108 miles per hour!"
Heisenberg becomes distressed and says, "Oh great, now I'm lost!"
The cop, confused by this, thinks they must be high, and goes to look in their trunk. Opening it, he says, "Do you guys know you have a dead cat in here?"
Schrodinger says, "We do now, a**hole!"
A lesson learned, a smile earned. I just found a pumpkin seed on the bathroom floor.
What's that all about?
In no particular order however, these are some of the things that have made me feel a little better today:
Sweet chilli chicken sandwiches, custard doughnuts, Thorntons Chocolates, Rich, cups of tea, lizards, TiVo, the tiler doing a good job, seriously cute stuff on the internet, my parcels arriving on time, grapes and Stephen Hawking.
I also emailed one of the physicists working on the "quantum pacemaker" with Rich's recipe for melted cheese and received a joke back in return: "You know what they say about Heisenburg's sex life? When he has the time, he can't find the energy, and when he finds the right position he can't get enough momentum."
Which of course prompted an outbreak of spectacular physics jokes from the nerdier of my friends (including two molecular biologists and a dude who writes care manuals for super magnets, installed at places like CERN.) The best has to be this one:
Heisenberg and Schrodinger are pulled over by a traffic cop. The cop says, "Do you know how fast you were going?"
Heisenberg replies helpfully, "No, but I know where I am."
The cop says, "You were going 108 miles per hour!"
Heisenberg becomes distressed and says, "Oh great, now I'm lost!"
The cop, confused by this, thinks they must be high, and goes to look in their trunk. Opening it, he says, "Do you guys know you have a dead cat in here?"
Schrodinger says, "We do now, a**hole!"
A lesson learned, a smile earned. I just found a pumpkin seed on the bathroom floor.
What's that all about?
Thursday 4 October 2012
Speedy updates!
HairsYourChance officially closed - having raised at least £875.44!
Yvonne, the local MacMillan lady sends her warmest thanks to all of you for all her efforts. My nan sent me a hand knitted woolly hat.
In other news, apparently I have to get my electrician in to wire up the cooker and hob ignition. I wish they'd have said, because my sparky has gone on holiday. So, I have a nice new kitchen with non functioning cooker and hob until he gets back. Their electrician can't do it because he hasn't done any of the other electrics in the house.
Well... Great.
Yvonne, the local MacMillan lady sends her warmest thanks to all of you for all her efforts. My nan sent me a hand knitted woolly hat.
In other news, apparently I have to get my electrician in to wire up the cooker and hob ignition. I wish they'd have said, because my sparky has gone on holiday. So, I have a nice new kitchen with non functioning cooker and hob until he gets back. Their electrician can't do it because he hasn't done any of the other electrics in the house.
Well... Great.
Thursday 20 September 2012
Pirate Evening
The lovely lady at Denix was most amused - she wasn't aware that TLaPDay existed (it really does) and was kind enough to send my parcel express overnight courier for no extra charge.
The top gun is a rather nice brass William Bailes Italian Flintlock Percussion Lock Pistol, designed in 1825 - and the bottom gun is my heavy Bailes English double-barrelled turnover pistol, designed in 1750.
Not only are they magnificently piratey (though defunct), but they're also legal to carry in public under the current replica firearms laws.
Wednesday 19 September 2012
Pirate Day
ROIGHT! Now ye listen 'ere and ye listen GOOD, yer 'ear me?!
It be International Talk Like a Pirate Day, so hand o'er all yer good stuffs an' pledge allegiance ter tha +Flying Spaghetti Monster - or oim ter run yer through wi' moi colander, and strain dubloons from yer pockets tha' way.
DO yer underrrrstant me, yer salt encrusted scabs of scurvy BILGE RATS!?!
An' iffen ye want to Poiratificaaaaate yer GOOGLES, well lookie here ya scurvy bilge rats - thar's no excuse, cuz now yer can, 'ERE!
Sunday 16 September 2012
Flying Dragon Update...
The dragons are ADORING the brand new and ginormous P-shaped bath tub in our new house. Tsam was an absolute gentleman at bath time, even when Hyphen started making a fuss, and Sandy sat on him. He knows bath time means towel time, and he loves to snuggle in his blue blanket.Mocha drank and drank and drank and drank until she had to sit up suddenly and go "GASP!" Yeah, you need to breathe. She loves water, but she's not YET aquatic.
Jacques is still in quarantine, but is beginning to understand the purpose of baths. It doesn't mean he will be any less grumpy about it though. He's still a lot skinnier than I'd like, but his eyebrows are nicely domed, his head isn't concave at the top, his weight is steadily increasing (181g at last count) and his bones don't stick out so badly - not to mention he's not pulling filthy black faces at me nearly as often any more!
Even Tsammy, the brightest of the dragons so far, can't manage the ferret ball. Hyphen's got the right combination of size and weight and a natural ability to counter the wobble.
Wednesday 12 September 2012
Busy busy busy...
If you haven't had the opportunity to try it, I strongly encourage you to source some. It is nicer even than sirloin.
I can't BEGIN to tell you just how good it was; simply that it was worth the £240 train fare...
This last couple of weeks has been kinda quiet, blogwise - because it's been lots hectic. Long story short - looks like we might have a friend who wants to borrow the old house (until everything sorts out and we can sell it). Means I don't have to pay a grand and a half in insurances and tax, so I certainly don't mind.
Saturday 1 September 2012
Over £750 and counting for MacMillan Cancer Support
"Shave It" roared in as the strong winner, with over a £60 lead with Natwest's pledge landing us over £750 in total for MacMillan! I have to thank you all so much - so "Hairsyourchance" to see what happened next...
The pages are still open at www.justgiving.com/yeshair and www.justgiving.com/cuthair, but of course voting is now complete.
2:28 - he accidentally dropped a clump of my hair in my lap - and I was "what the... holy cow! Lookit..."
2:58 - "Yuck!" (I don't like loose hairs at the best of times!)
3:49 - the lovely reporter from the Chronicle arrived.
4:53 - that's the sign and the big cheque being held up for the first of the photos - my friend Dale is helping the papers get pictures. The nice girl from reception is holding the video camera!
5:50 - and now they want me to hold chunks of my hair. Icky! :P
6:45 - Dale's stealing a "hilarious" half-and-half hair pic. Thanks mate... hahaha!
7:44 - I'd been asked how much we'd raised at that point, and I was trying to check the www.justgiving.com/cuthair and www.justgiving.com/yeshair pages. My eyesight is terrible! (£740 something at that point, including NatWest's £250 donation.)
10:16 - hahahahaha, it's like a pathetic dog's tail...
10:22 - aaaaaand... gone.
11:03 - this isn't my best angle. Feels WEIRD.
Totally worth it.
Thanks to my partner, Rich (Yamabamlo) glimpsed in the mirror at 02:45 for recording this, and putting huge amounts of work into the #hairsyourchance to Shave It or Save It project with me - as well as to Toni&Guy, ForbesBurton, NatWest and all you wonderful people from G+ and in the wild for all your help, donations and voting: we raised well over £750 for MacMillan!
So that's it from me - and until next year, thank you everyone! :D
The pages are still open at www.justgiving.com/yeshair and www.justgiving.com/cuthair, but of course voting is now complete.
2:28 - he accidentally dropped a clump of my hair in my lap - and I was "what the... holy cow! Lookit..."
2:58 - "Yuck!" (I don't like loose hairs at the best of times!)
3:49 - the lovely reporter from the Chronicle arrived.
4:53 - that's the sign and the big cheque being held up for the first of the photos - my friend Dale is helping the papers get pictures. The nice girl from reception is holding the video camera!
5:50 - and now they want me to hold chunks of my hair. Icky! :P
6:45 - Dale's stealing a "hilarious" half-and-half hair pic. Thanks mate... hahaha!
7:44 - I'd been asked how much we'd raised at that point, and I was trying to check the www.justgiving.com/cuthair and www.justgiving.com/yeshair pages. My eyesight is terrible! (£740 something at that point, including NatWest's £250 donation.)
10:16 - hahahahaha, it's like a pathetic dog's tail...
10:22 - aaaaaand... gone.
11:03 - this isn't my best angle. Feels WEIRD.
Totally worth it.
Thanks to my partner, Rich (Yamabamlo) glimpsed in the mirror at 02:45 for recording this, and putting huge amounts of work into the #hairsyourchance to Shave It or Save It project with me - as well as to Toni&Guy, ForbesBurton, NatWest and all you wonderful people from G+ and in the wild for all your help, donations and voting: we raised well over £750 for MacMillan!
So that's it from me - and until next year, thank you everyone! :D
Thursday 30 August 2012
Ayeaye Cap'n!
We tried out some names today.
He didn't like Colin. "Blergh."
He didn't like George. "Glaaaah."
He didn't like Arthur. "RLLLlerrrrh."
He DID like Jacques. "Nom?"
So I'd like to introduce Captain Jacques In-Parentheses Mardyarse. (Though "Mardyarse" might change as his character develops.) He still lunges and bites like a bull terrier, hanging on tight with his sawblade back teeth though. Oh well, can't expect miracles overnight.
But you CAN expect them over the course of a bath it seems!
I use a special, home-formulated mix I designed for the dragons, based on pure olive oil and lye with lemon and spinach extracts. You could eat it if you wanted, but it's terribly, terribly salty tasting. I know, I've tried it. And now, so has he.
"RARGHHH! BITE!... Ick! Yick, yick yick ptooey.... RAWRHHH! BITE! Bleck! Eeeeeeuuuuuw. Pteh, blah, yuck... RRRRRAAAAAactuallyno. That's not a good idea. Grue."
He didn't like Colin. "Blergh."
He didn't like George. "Glaaaah."
He didn't like Arthur. "RLLLlerrrrh."
He DID like Jacques. "Nom?"
So I'd like to introduce Captain Jacques In-Parentheses Mardyarse. (Though "Mardyarse" might change as his character develops.) He still lunges and bites like a bull terrier, hanging on tight with his sawblade back teeth though. Oh well, can't expect miracles overnight.
But you CAN expect them over the course of a bath it seems!
I use a special, home-formulated mix I designed for the dragons, based on pure olive oil and lye with lemon and spinach extracts. You could eat it if you wanted, but it's terribly, terribly salty tasting. I know, I've tried it. And now, so has he.
"RARGHHH! BITE!... Ick! Yick, yick yick ptooey.... RAWRHHH! BITE! Bleck! Eeeeeeuuuuuw. Pteh, blah, yuck... RRRRRAAAAAactuallyno. That's not a good idea. Grue."
Monday 27 August 2012
Bitey Bugger!
Once a lizard thinks it is the boss, it is quite difficult to get them back out of it again - they have no reason to trust the inferior creatures that should bring them food and then piss off.
For those that could do with learning, this is the first step to putting an aggressive and undernourished dragon back in their place. I don't tolerate being bitten at - but I do take the opportunity to stuff a tasty food in there.
With the aid of His Lordship's Goretex gloves, the little guy's already accidentally eaten five dragon fly larvae and most of two grapes whilst trying to attack my fingers - that'll do wonders for his severe dehydration.
Tomorrow, vitamin coated tasty things. And to order some new light fittings.
It seems the little guy didn't understand fun previously either. He has spent the last half hour running up and down this big bit of cork bark I've given him, apparently in a great sense of ... well, considering how scared and angry he is, comparative joy.
You just have to be patient and firm with angry dragons - and watch out for those back teeth. The front teeth are pointy and sharp, yes, but the BACK teeth are saw blades built directly into the powerfully muscled jawbone and are like razors.
Use armoured gloves if you have a dragon that is dedicated and determined to deal a nasty blow. You'll thank me later.
Friday 24 August 2012
Lizards Landing...
Everything survived the journey - the removals guys did an amazing job - they can lift some impressive weight! Terry's tank went into the alcove with less than millimetres to spare; I'm just glad I'd had enough brains to calculate the new flooring into the plan and his tank actually scraped off the top layer of paint from the wall as the removals men slid it in under the alcove.
Admittedly, I hadn't calculated THIS little guy into my plan though.We haven't got a name for him yet, but he's the last rescue I can take on - I literally don't have room for any more. Six dragons is more than enough for me, and this little dude is enough trouble for three dragons by himself. There's no WAY he's been handled regularly - he's seriously vicious.
But we'll break him. After all, we managed to crack the dangerous Miss Mocha, so we can certainly sort this little chap out.
My main concern is his health, rather than his attitude - he's dangerously underweight and in terrible condition - the heating is too low (I have a handy long range laser thermometer; very useful for taking measurements without actually having to get close to violent and scared reptiles.) and he's got a crappy "curly bulb", which isn't providing anywhere NEAR enough light or UV levels. Bearing in mind he's supposed to be nearly two years old, he's dangerously under weight - his spine sticks out, his tail is a bony whip. Hyphen's the same age and is literally twice the weight.
Mind you, his attitude is pretty appalling too.He's fast and nasty with it - the moment he sees you, you can see he gets uncomfortable, sootying round the face and flaring his ribs. Get closer, and he flaps out this square little beard and starts darting forward.
Bring on His Lordship and the Goretex gloves.
It's probably going to be the only way we're going to be able to handle him - and we need to handle him to get medicines into him, not to mention supplements. We need to get weight on him, and fast.
Having said that though, he eats well. A little too well. I don't think he's seen actual food for a long time, and he definitely hasn't seen water before.
Poor little sod.
Thursday 23 August 2012
Luggin' the Lizards
The glorious new floor is a laid, the living room walls are now a delicious confection of cool creamy custard yellow with meringue coving and the kitchen is ... um, raw plaster.
But never mind! Even Tsammy's got into the swing of helping pack and move things - it's always fun to find a self-propelling box. Saves me the hassle of moving it, I guess.
When he's not helping move boxes, he's making me proud - curled up quietly in his basket and acting as a perfect role model to the others. They're all a little nervous as they know something is going on, though quite what, they're not sure.
At least their tanks will be quick and easy to stack back together, and normalcy will shortly be restored.
Terryterry isn't keen on being shut in a plastic box, but he'll get over it once he realised there's a handful of waxworms in there. He coped last time, and he was in his tub for over 24 hours - he's only in there 14 hours this time. I have to tape it shut because he's a very bright little lizard - smart enough to lift up the lid, tip the box over, wriggle out and escape back into the undergrowth of his vivarium.
Speaking of which - I'm a little worried about Terry's tank. It is HUGE and incredibly heavy, but I've measured that alcove over and over and over and over...
Oh. Apparently the millipedes are also bright enough to copy Terry and bust out. Well, that's a bit inconvenient.
Monday 20 August 2012
Two weeks to go...
Nice one - I don't even have my collection tins yet, and in less than a week we've already raised £150 for Macmillan! I'm really impressed with you guys, thank you so much!
We've still got another couple of weeks to go, so #Hairsyourchance to make a difference - put your money where your mouth is and vote whether I keep my hair or not. On August 31st, I will be tallying up the funds raised on each side - and the side with the most votes/pounds will win - and decide what happens to my hair. It's scary, but it's going to be a whole heap of fun finding out what happens. After all, people with cancer don't get a choice whether they lose their hair or not, so I felt it was only appropriate that I should be held by the same dilemma. I'm not brave - the nurses are MUCH braver than me. They're here for you - so I'm just trying to return the favour.
Will you vote to help me keep my hair?
http://www.justgiving.com/yeshair
Or are you voting so I will shave my head?
http://www.justgiving.com/cuthair/
You can also text to 70070 to make a £1 donation:
Text HAIR53 to save my hair
Text HAIR94 to shave my head
We also have corporate sponsorship, with NatWest offering to give us a separate donation of £250 if we raise £250 ourselves, Toni&Guy are on board too, offering to cut or colour whatever the result, and ForbesBurton are using their business contacts to help fundraise as well as sponsor themselves. They're even suggesting a cheering party for the day! If you have a business - or even if you don't - you're VERY welcome to join in the fun,
We've still got another couple of weeks to go, so #Hairsyourchance to make a difference - put your money where your mouth is and vote whether I keep my hair or not. On August 31st, I will be tallying up the funds raised on each side - and the side with the most votes/pounds will win - and decide what happens to my hair. It's scary, but it's going to be a whole heap of fun finding out what happens. After all, people with cancer don't get a choice whether they lose their hair or not, so I felt it was only appropriate that I should be held by the same dilemma. I'm not brave - the nurses are MUCH braver than me. They're here for you - so I'm just trying to return the favour.
Will you vote to help me keep my hair?
http://www.justgiving.com/yeshair
Or are you voting so I will shave my head?
http://www.justgiving.com/cuthair/
You can also text to 70070 to make a £1 donation:
Text HAIR53 to save my hair
Text HAIR94 to shave my head
Saturday 18 August 2012
From destruction to creation...
So, it's all go-go-go at the moment - we're moving house on Thursday and there is SO much to do between working and sleeping. When I'm not packing, or moving stuff, we have been working hard at the new house trying to get it ready for moving in. I've just taken a quick break to update my blog.
His Lordship has been taking apart old units and designed me a lovely wash-bin insert into a new built-in cupboard unit, and has remodelled and repaired the massive wardrobes in his new study. He's also done a wonderful job of cleaning up the brick barbecue and freeing it from the immense swathes of stubborn, ancient ivy.
Having merrily totalled the old kitchen a couple of weeks back, I've been continuing with my no-nonsense brand of mess-reduction: I promptly kicked apart the old potting rack taking up so much room down the side of the house, ripped up a big, tough patch of dune-grass and startled my grandmother by single-handedly taking down a laburnum tree, then heaving out the root-stock.
I now have a nice clear kitchen garden, with some lovely low-creeping thyme and a lush, silvery leafed sage. For some reason, I can't seem to find rosemary anywhere in this town. Six different species of lavender, but no rosemary. Eh. At least we'll have some lovely rhubarb next year. It'll be very happy where that laburnum used to be.
The lizards are bemused at all the fuss, but are otherwise happy enough. I don't think they've remembered that lots of boxes mean they have to move. Heheheh, poor suckers...
His Lordship has been taking apart old units and designed me a lovely wash-bin insert into a new built-in cupboard unit, and has remodelled and repaired the massive wardrobes in his new study. He's also done a wonderful job of cleaning up the brick barbecue and freeing it from the immense swathes of stubborn, ancient ivy.
Having merrily totalled the old kitchen a couple of weeks back, I've been continuing with my no-nonsense brand of mess-reduction: I promptly kicked apart the old potting rack taking up so much room down the side of the house, ripped up a big, tough patch of dune-grass and startled my grandmother by single-handedly taking down a laburnum tree, then heaving out the root-stock.
I now have a nice clear kitchen garden, with some lovely low-creeping thyme and a lush, silvery leafed sage. For some reason, I can't seem to find rosemary anywhere in this town. Six different species of lavender, but no rosemary. Eh. At least we'll have some lovely rhubarb next year. It'll be very happy where that laburnum used to be.
The lizards are bemused at all the fuss, but are otherwise happy enough. I don't think they've remembered that lots of boxes mean they have to move. Heheheh, poor suckers...
Tuesday 14 August 2012
Hair's Your Chance - Sponsor update!
My partner (+Rich Peall) lost both his parents last year to cancer, so this year I'm raising money for #macmillan, to help pay for #macmillannurses to continue their good work and to thank the #macmillanprofessionals for all their help.
Will you vote to help me keep my hair?
http://www.justgiving.com/yeshair
Or are you voting so I will shave my head?
http://www.justgiving.com/cuthair/
You can also text to 70070 to make a £1 donation:
Text HAIR53 to save my hair
Text HAIR94 to shave my head
On August 31st, I will be tallying up the funds raised on each side - and the side with the most votes/pounds will win - and decide what happens to my hair. It's scary, but it's going to be a whole heap of fun finding out what happens. After all, people with cancer don't get a choice whether they lose their hair or not - so I felt it was only appropriate!
Toni&Guy in Grimsby were thrilled with the #Hairsyourchance project, and have kindly offered to shave it all off for those of you voting to cut it. They've also offered to add a green flash into my existing hair if those of you voting to keep it win! ForbesBurton (the business recovery specialists) are offering sponsorship and NatWest have also pledged that, if I can raise over £250, they will give us an additional £250 donation towards the cause. If that's not a good reason to chuck a few pennies in, I don't know what is!
Cancer affects us all at some point, directly or indirectly, so #Hairsyourchance to get involved and place your votes!
There's also these nifty QR codes you can print off - people with smartphones can scan these weird square barcode things with their mobile phones to go straight to the right page.
We've got a discussion about it on GooglePlus, where loads of people are doing a wonderful job of spreading the word and I'm hoping to get a Hashtag campaign going for Hair'sYourChance.
I'd link the Facebook version, but I can't work out how to do that. The new Timeline is making things a little complicated - sorry!
I know my lovely Rich is going to forward it on Twitter and a few of his other, professional social networks - though I'd certainly appreciate extra shares if you're willing to spread the word!
I'm also thinking of setting up eBay auctions for Yes and No later on, one for each "pot" - so watch this space.
If anyone has any fundraising suggestions or a more inventive way to spread the love, let me know - I'd be delighted for the help.
There's even a little notice board on the donating site, so you can leave messages either here or there for me - I promise I'll do my best to reply to every message.
There's also these nifty QR codes you can print off - people with smartphones can scan these weird square barcode things with their mobile phones to go straight to the right page.
We've got a discussion about it on GooglePlus, where loads of people are doing a wonderful job of spreading the word and I'm hoping to get a Hashtag campaign going for Hair'sYourChance.
I'd link the Facebook version, but I can't work out how to do that. The new Timeline is making things a little complicated - sorry!
I know my lovely Rich is going to forward it on Twitter and a few of his other, professional social networks - though I'd certainly appreciate extra shares if you're willing to spread the word!
I'm also thinking of setting up eBay auctions for Yes and No later on, one for each "pot" - so watch this space.
If anyone has any fundraising suggestions or a more inventive way to spread the love, let me know - I'd be delighted for the help.
There's even a little notice board on the donating site, so you can leave messages either here or there for me - I promise I'll do my best to reply to every message.
Even if you can't spare a couple of pennies, can you pass the word on for me? Macmillan have confirmed my Hairsyourchance project is unique, and I'd love people to hear about it.
Thanks,
Amber :)
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