WARNING: RELIGIOUS RANT!
So, as most of you know, I regularly tangle with religious fundamentalists, and I'm very patient with them, despite some very peculiar ideas, like the Young Earth theory, or this one... (Which Zak is busy dealing with, here.)
However, when dealing with one overly-zealous preacher whom kept forcing his views at me after repeated polite requests to desist, I surprised myself with the sheer volume of sauce that rose - until my pan overfloweth. (For those familiar with the Bible, you might recognise which bits are in response to his quotes!)
And lo, the mighty carbohydrated deity said unto us, let there not be inflexibility in the world - let us all mingle peacefully in the warmth of the waters, so that we will be happy amongst our bretheren, be they spaghetti, fusili or conchiglie!
And for those whom cannot partake of the gluten based carbohydrate, let them also understand that gnocci is perfectly acceptable, based on potato, though it is.
For even those whom cannot sup of the mighty marinara lest it be harming the animals from whence the meat is taken, let them be accepted also, with succulent sides of tofu or quorn - and let them not be preachy gits about it, for we know the suffering that commences, and we do what we can to alleviate it with kindness and free range produce.
Those that be condemning thee with threats of torture and misery, forgive them - they know not the harm they do, they are ignorant and without carbohydrates to give them the blood sugar boost they so desperately need.
One day they will understand that it is not hellfire - there is no hellfire. Just a mighty flame over which the pot of the universe simmers, with all of us safely gathered, sifted from the waters of trivial day-to-day inanities, and served in fine dishes at the table of heaven.
About noontime, the table was laid, the bowls were set, the checkered tablecloth resplendent in its Italian Bistro red - and thus we partook of his kindness, so that we could work harder for the afternoon and put right the parts of the world that we could.
I hope that you can accept other people for who they are. I pray that given time and warmth, you can become flexible like the spaghetti, yet, like the spaghetti, still retain the full essence of what you are. You will be able to happily mingle in peace with all others in the colander of society, be they conchiglie or fusilli - I believe that one day you will understand your fellow man and find compassion for the souls of others.
We are all in the same pan. We are all of the same stuff, yet varied in shape and colour. I hope for a better future and understanding. We do not have hell, where I am from. We simply have justice, and peace.
I also draw the line HERE. Yes, they're saying: "Believe in God, or Risk Twelve Months in Prison in Kentucky!"