Monday 29 October 2012

Games Night

Saturday nights tend to be games nights. For those that don't know, I'm a DooM girl, and once a fortnight, games night is at our house.

This involves:
Spaghetti and meatballs and beer.
Games. (Mostly DooM)
Red Dwarf.
Movies.


For those that don't follow tabletop games, DooM was (and is) originally a series of computer games - a science experiment on the Mars base goes badly wrong, unleashing and transmuting from the people there a whole bunch of demons with bad attitude and worse breath.

The tabletop version is exactly that - you're a little figurine (with your team, if you're lucky!) trying to fight your way through to safety. In the picture above, I am the little green marine in serious trouble. I have severe doubts as to whether I'll get to that first aid kit in time, as I'm about to get my head punched in from multiple directions by those hulking great Hellknights.

They're literally big grey versions of the Hulk. With a less reasonable personality.

Friday 26 October 2012

Things I have learned lately.

In 1409 Fiore di Liberi from Friuli in Italy, wrote a treatise on combat. Part of his treatise included a weapon with a hollowed out hammer filled with chilli powder; an enemy would try to block a hammer being swung at them - the resulting percussive force would throw the powder into their eyes blinding them!

You can use Google to super-power your searches, by using the right "codes":

I discovered that the Mursi women wear lip-disks as a sign of pride and maturity, and that the rest of the world have some very different concepts of beauty. I particularly like the Mauritanian ideal of "the perfect woman" - they like 'em big.


I've realised that religious intolerance annoys me deeply. I'm sick to the teeth of religions based on the same flaming fundamental principles having the cheek to turn round and say "because my god said so." There are over 2000 gods documented in modern history, so that's a rubbish answer. You can't ALL be individually right, and I'm certainly not going to take anyone's word for it without proof. And don't be ridiculous and quote passages from your religious book at me as "proof" because, you know what? Here's news for you! All the other religions can do the same blooming thing!

I am starstuff. I am a tiny part of the whole, and my components formed in the heart of a massive, ancient star, then flung to the far corners by its violent death. The universe will continue without me, and I am content with this concept.


I also found out that the national rail don't specify what time the disturbance they're apologising for is going to be. I wasn't surprised to discover it meant they would have a team of two diggers, a massive roller thing and other assorted caterpillar tracked machines trundling around just a few doors down... But I hadn't realised they meant it would be at one in the bloody morning!


Mind you, at least it prepared me for this: http://knottyboys.com/

Sunday 21 October 2012

Reptile Awareness Day!


Tsam was attentive this evening as usual, watching me from his comfy spot on his hut as I prepared dinners (sneaking him a few choice shreds of green spring cabbage) and wriggling contentedly when I gave his head a noogie. He was sad to hear about Noa, but understood and shut his eyes - he'd been there when my first lizard passed away from what we suspect was the same thing.

Sandy was happy to chat for a while, giving me her wise, slow blink. I'm sure she understands the tone, if not the meaning - and her opinion seems to be that when a bad thing happens, sometimes a good thing will come along later. She was good friends with Kyle, and moved into her tank; she reminded me that, oddly, just days later, Mocha arrived in desperate need. Though she did tell me off when I took the bit of dried, crumbly scale off her beard. I told her off in return for not letting me get it, miserable cow - she'd be much cheerier if she didn't sit in the cold end - so she parked herself under her heatlamp for a bit until she felt she'd got a solar powered grin ready.

Jam had already sat up at her window and plonked a hand firmly on it, ready for some fussings. First thing she does when I open her door is greet me with a lick to make sure I am actually me. And to see if there's anything tasty. She's always good for hugs on a glum day. Or a rainy day. Or a sunny day. Or a happy day. Or any day, really. Today was a day where hugs were clearly required.

I also love how Jam sleeps like a people in her bed. I really need to sort a mattress and some bed clothes for her.

Hyphen gazed at me. Hyphen gazed at his salad. He's young and stupid. Hyphen went back to sleep. He's happy and oblivious, as usual.

Ditto Mocha after a quick sip of syringe water (though not without her usual furious argument about the whole thing); she reckons she's brumating. She occasionally deigns to open just one of her eyes - she's grumpy because she's trying to sleep and she's being quite clear what she thinks as to the disturbance. Everything radiates a quiet air of "piss off".

Jacques is still baffled by this whole human interaction and discussion thing.

He's_kind_ of getting the hang of being a pet, though a hand in the tank still startles him into an impressive "Oh my god, she's going to swat me round the head" flinch. But it's getting there. He hasn't quite understood the purpose of the fresh tissue in his tank every day either. He very carefully moves it over so he can poop next to, or better yet, UNDER it. I think he doesn't want to make it dirty - silly boy.

But then again, for a dragon that doesn't understand that he will get food every day (or whenever he needs it, if he chooses not to eat every day later) I can understand this.

Whilst it is cute to watch him leap down and hog his dinner as if someone is going to take it away in the next five seconds and he won't get any more for the rest of the month, it will be nice to see him relax into a proper dragon.

Raspberry... we meet again.
(221g and counting!)

Saturday 13 October 2012

Fix the finances

Right! I have had enough of my budget being out of whack. I am on the monetary war-path!

First up - household bills. I had a word with my gas and electricity suppliers whom I've had for all of six weeks and told them to go bite it. I mean, really, £60 a month for gas?! Who are you kidding, British Gas? You're supposed to be the gas supplier of Britain, surely - so why's yours so expensive and why can other people do your gas for cheaper?!

I've now switched to NPower's Jan 14 deal instead, as it's something like £186 a year cheaper than what I'm currently paying.

Second up - the mobiles. I'm fed up of my so called awesome contract costing me the freakin' earth, especially when I've barely used the freakin' thing. Orange, you can go screw off - your customer service dudes have been lousy, consistently so. When my SIM stopped working, your dudes told me I had to have a whole new phone and buy out of my old contract to do so! I went to Carphone Warehouse where they discovered it was only my SIM card that had failed and ordered me an emergency replacement SIM.

My phone was fixed within three days, for free - as opposed to £120 to buy out of my new contract plus whatever it would cost for a new one plus phone that I didn't actually need. Jerks. So, as my contract is due up in a couple of weeks, you can shove that bit of paper in any orifice you please. I'm going to Giffgaff. I mean, £10 a month for unlimited texts, internet and 250 minutes complete with free Giff-to-Gaff minutes and texts? Yes please! That's £15 cheaper than my current "contract rate", and with more stuff.

I already have the cheapest two year mortgage I can get, and the cheapest insurance available. I've just restocked half of my store cupboards on BOGOF favourites, so I'm feeling comfortable now we have plenty to eat just-in-case, and I'm finding a new supplier for locusts.

Can anyone else think of a way to cut back more of my bills and save money? I might have to sell some old stuff on eBay next, and sign up to places like Fiver with my skills...

Wednesday 10 October 2012

Multidenominational!

I'm now officially multidenominational - I've just been accepted as a minister of the Universal Life Church. Not that it was difficult; anyone can be accepted. It doesn't matter what your religion is. That's the point.

However, I've done it for a good reason: the ULC have the same basic standards as Pastafarianism - they just don't have the pirate and pasta goodness - but they have no problems with the pirate and pasta goodness! Part of a minister's duty (in most religions) is to absolve sins. Now, Pastafarians have no concept of "original sin" or "hell", but the ULC understands other people do, so ULCism now "upgrades" me to be able to absolve original sin, whilst keeping my concept of no hell.

Example ordination

The Flying Spaghetti Monster is cool with polytheism. Even poly-non-theism. 

Friday 5 October 2012

F you Flu!

On the plus side, my new bathroom is kinda cosy, my new bath mat surprisingly comfy and the P shaped bath means there's a nice curve to lean from. The things you learn, hey?


In no particular order however, these are some of the things that have made me feel a little better today:

Sweet chilli chicken sandwiches, custard doughnuts, Thorntons Chocolates, Rich, cups of tea, lizards, TiVo, the tiler doing a good job, seriously cute stuff on the internet, my parcels arriving on time, grapes and Stephen Hawking.

I also emailed one of the physicists working on the "quantum pacemaker" with Rich's recipe for melted cheese and received a joke back in return: "You know what they say about Heisenburg's sex life? When he has the time, he can't find the energy, and when he finds the right position he can't get enough momentum."

Which of course prompted an outbreak of spectacular physics jokes from the nerdier of my friends (including two molecular biologists and a dude who writes care manuals for super magnets, installed at places like CERN.) The best has to be this one:

Heisenberg and Schrodinger are pulled over by a traffic cop. The cop says, "Do you know how fast you were going?"
Heisenberg replies helpfully, "No, but I know where I am."
The cop says, "You were going 108 miles per hour!"
Heisenberg becomes distressed and says, "Oh great, now I'm lost!"
The cop, confused by this, thinks they must be high, and goes to look in their trunk. Opening it, he says, "Do you guys know you have a dead cat in here?"
Schrodinger says, "We do now, a**hole!"

A lesson learned, a smile earned. I just found a pumpkin seed on the bathroom floor.
What's that all about?

Thursday 4 October 2012

Speedy updates!

HairsYourChance officially closed - having raised at least £875.44!

Yvonne, the local MacMillan lady sends her warmest thanks to all of you for all her efforts. My nan sent me a hand knitted woolly hat.

In other news, apparently I have to get my electrician in to wire up the cooker and hob ignition. I wish they'd have said, because my sparky has gone on holiday. So, I have a nice new kitchen with non functioning cooker and hob until he gets back. Their electrician can't do it because he hasn't done any of the other electrics in the house.

Well... Great.