Tuesday 14 October 2008

Cakecakecakettycake!

Finally, I am a NeoMillionaire! Still a long way to go before I reach the best bank account, but then I am enjoying spending some of my hard earned neopoints! I've only been playing this game for the last seven and a half years... Selling off some of those codestones helped.

I seem to have developed a rather nice recipe for lemon cake. I'd give you the recipe, but it doesn't have one. I take a big glass pyrex dish, marg it up. Throw about a mug and a half of selfraising in a bowl, three eggs, a splash of milk, some lemon zest, about half a mug of marg and equivalent of sugar in, and mix. Splat some lemon curd in margy dish, throw in mix. Bung dish in microwave, give it about 10 mins or so, and mix some lemon juice, water, syrup and cornflour in a hot pan until it turns slightly jellyish. "I loved your cake. I like cake!" Pretty much the best review one could want. Hurray! We also tried a syrup version, and I intend to do a raspberry one next year. Thanks to Himself for the raspberry tree sketch.

Film: Mirrors. Quote: "ding ding ding ding ding" I liked it, especially the first boo. I can't believe everyone else fell for the second boo. You all should be embarrassed - I laugh at you.

HouseBunny: Sadly, not as funny as some previous Happy Madison films, and draws the attention of large groups of noisy, rustly women. "Better than I expected, quite humorous. Wasn't quite the normal thing I'd go and see." Well, it was a girly film. A case of, rather than stick it in the fruity, gamble your money on the film. It might be worth it, or alternatively, you've just lost a couple of quid.

Dragon Update: Tsammy Dragon is 18.5" long now, and loves his baths. I did him a fresh, slightly warm bath and he threw himself in. Sloshed water everywhere, scooching about with his head underwater, happily blinking and coming up to blow bubbles. Kuleana is her usual demure self, lounging comfortably in the soft dig of sand she's made in her tunnel, quietly observing the world. She can be tempted out with morios, but if she's in a real sulk, all a morio will do is tempt out a nose and a long sticky tongue... BLAT!

His "word" of the week: "Ucluxium - the stalky bit that snaps off a leaf." Disclaimer: NOT a real word. Yet.

Quote of the Day: "summon the seven dragons of reggae" - scientology quote from an IAB clip.

Monday 13 October 2008

Un-civil thinking from a civil servant...

I'm technically a civil servant now! My company is heavily owned by the gvt, and we hit an all time low of 50p per share. Just to think, it was at 189p just before I left for holidays. I don't know, I take a week's holiday to do nothing, and the whole industry falls apart without me! My nan says "Serves you right for taking holidays!" Never mind, a nut doughnut is enough to make it better for me! (Image not actually my building, but a very cool building in London nearby my company HQ. They do the world window cleaning championships at this site by the way!)

I had to laugh when I went to visit my local petstore; I stopped to look at the adverts in the window, the usual puppies, kittens, small furry animals, when I noticed there was one proclaiming the merits of a rabbit. An Anne Summers rabbit! Another personal favourite when it comes to local shop signs has to be at the "Real China", a big Chinese style buffet house, with a slightly modified sign outside reading: "We Hop To See You!"

Word of the week: Gratisfaction. Self explanatory.

I also have an impressive collection of 59 codestones now!


Quote of the Day: "Oh, this looks quite good. Oh, that was quite good. Length of review directionally proportional to game." His Review of Jericho the Game.

Tuesday 7 October 2008

(Non-) Working Week.

Sods law for you, I get a weeks worth of holiday to relax and do little to nothing, and I get His cold. Oh well. I'm just glad not to be at work this week - the financial sector are in a bit of a flap. D'ya think this will be the "recession age"? I mean, we've had "Roaring Twenties, Turbulent Thirties, Swinging Forties, Nifty Fifties, Swinging Sixties, Super Seventies, Big Eighties, the Decade of Decadence"... Is this the "Niggling Noughties"?
M'fishies have got a nice new tank layout - someone was getting rid of some tunnels for hamsters, so I bagsied them. The fish have now got a funky, brightly coloured pair of joined, slopy tubes and bends to swish around, sit on and sleep in. Erwin thinks they're great and has being going round and round and round as is his wont. He likes going in circles! Snekeh has a shiny new heatbulb (which I promptly burnt myself on "psssssht!") and is sleeping under her waterbowl. The dragons are just getting bigger.

Films:
Taken: "About as scary as hiccups" sums it up nicely in His Lordship's words. Everybody was raving about it, I didn't think much to it. A bit too James-Bondey for me. Don't get me wrong, I like 007, but this was a bit... meh. An action flick with a predictable outcome. I liked the outfits in the sales scene though.

Righteous Kill: Al Pacino and Whatsisname - very good. It was a good laugh, a little predictable, but a worthy watcher. Considering it was free, it was nice for a bit of escapism, however His Lordship sums it up well: "It was... highly forgettable really. The kind of movie that I've watched, forgotten and not going to start raving to Joe Bloggs down the pub - it's just not worth the effort. It was a well directed, well acted peice of movistry, just something to watch."

Death Race: WooYEAH, NOW you're talking. Crammed full of special effects and enough C4 to knock me sideways (visually speaking) this was a proper treat. I was expecting something a bit cheesy, a bit 1980s, but this stomps all over such expectations and leaves you breathless. Please, please don't try to compare it to the original movie "Death Race 2000" - it's nothing as poor, nothing as tame. I was suitably marvelled and gobsmacked. Kudos. "Although there were more boobies in Death Race 2000. Just a statement of fact in comparison of the two." HL.

I have however prepared some of my Christmas presents and have started to design some cards; yes folks, this year you're getting home made ones! Talking of Christmas, I also started shopping for presents - so family, email me and let me know what you/who wants. I have a nice stack of things, but nowhere near finished. That includes you Mum! Whilst shopping, I did have a nice surprise however; I nipped into a charity shop to look for books and discovered a brooch identical to the one I already own. Bearing in mind I bought mine at an antiques store a year ago in Bath for £4, I thought it quite extraordinary to find the exact same design for the same price!

Linkage: Remember the freezer-soup incident a few weeks back? Here's some folk trying something similar for science: http://www.gloriousstench.blogspot.com/ Also, see the original: http://www.stinkymeat.net/

Quote of the week: "Tkk nnnnhh" - some politician failing repeatedly on the News. Well said, sir!

Saturday 4 October 2008

At the Aquarium!

We got a reputed five years worth of good luck today, as returning on the boat, we waved up at the London Bridge and people waved back. (He and I were the only ones to try, so we get luck! Woot!) I did think the bridge sign was just a little obvious all considering, but then I suppose if you're not paying much attention to your surroundings or you're a disaster at directions like me, it could be handy. He thought the tour was quite cool, and came up with a lot of good facts. He does say: "London Bridge. Well, the sign's just a statement really. Why else would you need two bricks that tell you what it is? London. Almost a shame you have to spend money to actually get there."

The Aquarium has a lot of weird and wonderful animals to show, His Lordship discovered Indian Leaf fish and miniature bumblebee shrimp, jellyfish tumbler tanks and adored the rays as usual. I loved the big river tanks, complete with Stone Loaches (one of the Dojo family line). We had to agree, our joint favourite is the Heteroconger cobra. These sweet little fish are very nervous - we had to wait quite some time for them to be relaxed enough to come right out. When they are worried, they hide in their little tunnels, so it's very funny to see these little fish sliding up and down out of the sand!

Some fish clearly didn't appreciate their photo being taken, as these fellas prove; resolutely turning their backs to the camera and quietly focussing on the opposite direction. Although you can't tell from this direction, these guys are quite a metallic green and have big blue spots down their sides... "Oh, the sulky fish! I suppose they were quite nice, but they were just big fish. Big fish that ignored me." They're probably far too used to putting up with tourists with flash cameras. I don't use them round animals if I can help it, either that or I use a constant light so it doesn't scare them.

Quote of the Day: "YOU! Lizard with the beard! I seeeee you!" - Hank and the dragons.

Friday 3 October 2008

Looking Over London...

We did go on the London Eye (and pay £8 for the privilege of owning a mass produced "personal memory" photo), then went to explore the London Aquarium (where they tried the same thing.)

Once you reach the vantagepoint at the top, the view from the Eye is quite spectacular: a grubby sprawl of buildings, hiding the treasures of ancient monuments and the diamond flashes of the tourist cameras, jewel moments among the kimberlite if you will... But I'm still disappointed that it isn't like it is on TV; the News and Documentaries show everything as so polished, so shiny, so close together - look here at St Pauls, here at Ben, here at yaddayaddayou get it. But it's not, it's scattered amongst grotty grey hulks of concrete and glass, even the greatest towers are subdued and overshadowed by scaffold and crane.

The tube experience is quite, quite unique. I had it in mind of something akin to your standard public transport train, your SouthWest Trains journey. However, even at it's busiest point, the rush-hour to Weymouth on a Friday evening, the SouthWest would still be beaten into submission in a head-to-head battle with the Underground. It's like a cattlevan, pink fleshy livestock crammed in willynilly, hurryhurry to get there fast. I'll give it that, it's a whole lot cheaper and a damn sight more efficient than the bus systems, and a lot more reliable than the black cabs (I won't even consider mentioning the charges for those!) but you really do have to take a deep breath.


Even as laid back as I am, I found myself swept up in the urgent nature of the city when trying to traverse the tube and on a couple of occasions, Himself and I almost ended up seperated by trains. It got to the point where we had to agree beforehand where we were going, and for the first one to arrive to wait for the second! His view on the whole thing: "Slow doooown!" At least you don't need to say that with the Eye.

Quote of the day: "Oh, this 3is3 si3lly!" Laptop seizures produce 3s.

Natural History

I cannot believe just how BIG the place is. You couldn't do it in a couple of hours like so many people say you could. We spent about six hours there in all, and still we didn't see all of it! My feet hurt, but I didn't notice until much later, because it was just so breathtaking, so much to take in, so much to consider and converse upon. His Lordship noticed some lovely roundels set into the walls through some of the halls, and thought the silvery cubes of natural pyrite were the best, "like transformers" in its angularity. To give you an idea of the size of this rather fabulous cluster, each of those cubes are roughly... I'd say about fist-sized. So yes, it was a big, big chunk of raw, unprocessed beauty. I love the way Nature manages to give it such perfect angles and sleek, shimmery sides!

His Lordship still has a wonder for the bigger reptiles, so we spent a while peering at the marvellous remains of the dinosaurs. I never realised just how huge, or how small, the variety in general. I mean, I liked dinosaurs when I was little, but WOW! The triceratops's horns are wider than my calf, and the beak of this prehistoric bird thing we saw was longer than His arm and a about the same again deep. He liked "all the skeletons they had there and stuff in the giant rahhh section, it was cool to see all the skeletamanons and the coolness and stuff. It was cool, just all the ewrrrrr and aaaaauuuuurrrr, you know." Complete with claw-hand gesture-suggestions.

The modern day reptiles collection was a little small, and the poor old beardie they had on display wasn't the finest of it's kind, but then I suppose that's understandable. I prefer mine alive and interactive really! Talking of lizards, Kyle didn't half sulk when we got home, she doesn't like it when we leave her for a few days, even when she has Hank for company. However, the shingle skink was a nice example, it's head and tail were the same size - to confuse predators. (Sadly the camera went flat, so here's a nice Mesolite crystalform for you. He says it's a very "cute" peice.) There were all kinds of animals, birds, crustaceans... He liked the Alaskan King Crab, I felt sorry for the Griffin Hawk and we both had a chuckle when He stood next to one bird and asked "So which one's the Dodo?"

We also spent some time having a good poke about in the sparklies section, for all of you know my love of true gems. My personal favourite is Hope; the cursed dark blue diamond, she brings fever, death and destruction. At 45.52 carats, she's said to be the biggest of her kind, however the curse isn't truly accepted. Said to be stolen from a great Hindi statue, but the other eye has never been found. Sadly, the photo didn't work out as it was such a dark blue, so here's an amazing HUGE opal boulder.

Talking of colours, I recently discovered they used more C4 explosives in the Dulux paint explosion advert than they did on that "Saving Private Ryan" film, which is quite impressive! "Mere colour, unspoiled by meaning, and unallied with definite form, can speak to the soul in a thousand different ways." - Oscar Wilde. Here's a question for Mr Wilde, would the C4 spoil the colour, or doesn't that count? In the meantime, as we wait for time travel to be developed, here's a nice little shot of some unusual pink, white and black metamorphic granite... P.S, it's about six foot tall. That's some rock!

I also adored the Pain collection of Burmese sapphires and Pigeon rubies, as shown in all their funky brights in this clip.

"Abra-ca-duh!" Amy Wong as the Cute Fairy Of The North, Futurama.

Thursday 2 October 2008

Totally Tourists.

A touristy day round London, two very poor people looking at very expensive things mostly, Bentley's driving down the road silky-quiet, a stroll round Tiffanys to discover an entire year of my life is worth roughly one Spessartite ring. (Image of similar cut gem thanks to crystalscrystals.com) We watched Porsches glittering like airbourne fish, had a look at some marvellous frilled boots in Jimmy Choos, looked at bespoke suits in Saville Row, leaned on a superbly squishy Diesel store (honest!) and admired ridiculously high heels in Yves St Laurent. All of which were probably similarily expensive. And you know what? London is grubby.

On the other hand, I was delighted to find a touch of either Olde England, or blatant sci-fi tourism attraction. Sadly, it wasn't decked out inside, so no, he wasn't in - but why would I need an alien when I have a man JUST as weird to travel around with? Actually, it made me laugh, inside was painted plain white, empty bar for a little sink in the corner. I'm still not sure what all that was about. Did you know, last year, Doctor Who was classed as "classically English", just below tea with scones or crumpets, and just above Cricket. I did notice an awful lot of cranes and scaffolding around - a lot of the underground stations are having huge rejuvination plans in process, as well as most of the monuments being cleaned up.

I was most amused to discover the name of the to-be-biggest building in the UK: Shard of Glass. I thought that was brilliant, because with the local accent, it sounds just like "Shard of Arse"- anyone who knows my family will know this is a colloquialism for a particular type of flatulence! Turns out that "Darth Vader's Helmet", another odd glass building, leaks through the roof and that the "Glass Gerkin", designed by the same man, regularly used to drop panes out onto the streets...

However, what made me laugh most might well have been the set up to a classic joke: "How many Londoners does it take to change a lightbulb?" In this case, literally two and a cherrypicker. Health and safety gone mad?

Quote of the Day: "Oh NO! I think I've STOPPED!" - His Lordship, when a tube train pulled away at the same speed as he was walking at.

Wednesday 1 October 2008

Insanity.

I was determined to get over this needle phobia, especially since the 10mg of Daizepam the doctor gave me last time I had to have an injection didn't work and I went into shaky shock. I got sick of having panic attacks at seeing one on the telly, in a mag, on the street. You'll be pleased to know it's somewhere very discreet , so no-one normally sees it. Surprisingly, my mother thought it was very nice - which baffled the hell out of me, I can tell ya! I was impressed with the blokey, Chris at Crewkerne's Skin Ink - he's lightning fast. Done and dusted in about 10 minutes flat.

Oh dear though, you get what you pay for with London hotels. This room is only one step up from a dartmoor cell, in that the bed isn't bolted down and the toilet has a seat! Never mind, we've had a good laugh at having to fill the kettle up in the shower because it has a great big bathtap for a faucet...

His Lordship forgot his jacket, so we weren't allowed into the Ritz for dinner. Ah well. It looked fancy anyway, but probably prices through the roof. We went to Dino's instead, where they served us some nice lasagne verde. My review: Good if you just want to eat. Not what you'd call fine cuisine, but certainly yompable. The pudding with mille de fleur was a bit strange, but the cheesecake was amazing! (Mum says banana and mashed potato go well in a sandwich)

We went to look at the Tate Modern too today - my personal favourite was the pointless kitchen table and chair - lovingly painted in 3D on white formica laminate cubes by Richard Artschwager. He likes Cubism, not my cup of tea, I much prefer the humorous shades of Matisse, but we both appreciated the "Fluxchess" and other Flux works, like the "instructional" box of art. Example on some cards:

"3 States of Yellow: Yellow Yellow Yellow. Yellow Loud. Yellow Red."

"Umbrellas:
  • 1 Umbrella.
  • 2 Umbrella."
We weren't allowed to take pictures in the Tate, or at least, not of the artwork - so here's our interpretation of the Tate.

Quote of the Day: "Morrison's corn beef hash: crap. French batteries: crap. Kiddeminster: crap. The canal was lurking behind the flippin' bushes!" The Trainmaster's review.