Wednesday 25 June 2008

The Better Mousetrap

So, we need to do a fortnight's catchup:

Workwise: Well! Apparently I'm not as pants at cashiering as I was lead to believe!
Most of my errors have been traced by a visiting staff member with a knack for the foreign cashflow - and has found that both of us cashiers were taught it all wrong. No news from the big place I applied for, but hopefully hear more from some of the others. Still, it's bugging me. (Aggravation beetle - courtesy of Oddee.com)

His Lordship: Has started a diary. He says it's been a bit unsettled what with one thing or another, bits and bobs going on that demand his attention that he'd rather not have to - "just dribbles of crap". In English, that'd be the accidental mixing up of controls in the driving lessons, the tribunal for the benefits for rent he SHOULD be getting as been adjourned AGAIN. Jobcentre's still pants and His mum's nabbed the printer for work, so he's having to hand-write his applications. I still can't believe how good a backscratcher he is...

Books: Haruki Murakami's Wind-up Bird Chronical - Nearly finished, will comment then. Tom Holt's newest, The Better Mousetrap - Another brilliantly funny addition to the J.W.Wells group, which begins with A Portable Door. Tom Holt's Snow White and the Seven Samuri - The title says it all really, a bizarrely mixed up fairytale. Please read! I've read it once, and now I've bought it to read it again!

Nan's Weekend: To be released in a following blog (as images need to be sorted by Himself).

Lizards: Getting very big. Big dragon was a pretty shade of soft cream with touches of orange, and Little dragon is at least 10.5". His Lordship's mum (a faffer by trade) kindly provided us with a new length of stylish black ribbon to build Tsam's leash with - he's taken to it very well, enough so that we were able to take him AND Ky out to The Bell for a drink in their gardens. The barstaff were most intrigued by the reptiles settled comfortably on a barmat, but were a bit surprised when Ky did her usual trick; a beeline straight for the most wary person available. Poor girl nearly tipped herself off the edge of the bar. Having sat her down again, the pair of them happily stared (and licked) their reflections in the mirrored bottom of the peanut warmer.

Food: We now get our eggs delivered for lots of good reasons. Biggest reason, they're freerange from a local farm I go past every day from work (they're pretty chickens too). Secondly, they're cheaper than supermarket ones. They're very good too, we've had some lovely omelettes. I am at a loss as to what to call one of our odd meals. Basically, you take salami, ham, peppers, onion, cheese, mushrooms - pretty much anything in the bottom of the fridge, finely chop it, and stir it into a slowly cooked scrambled egg sort of. Yesterday I came home to a sort of chicken and mushroom risotto. Not technically traditionally made, but very tasty.

Garden: Both my tomato plants and my raspberry stalks are starting to flower, the rhubarb has gone insane, His Lordship is putting Kill-It-All on the bindweed down the side of the house (again), my little purple basil has doubled in height, the mint has recovered from the savagery of the slugs (I'm winning the battle) and we really need to start using some chives. (Recipes anyone?)

Films: The Happening - bit average really, but funny when they kept adjusting the air-conditioning. Very smooth CineWorld! The Hulk - MUCH better than the last one. Even I enjoyed it but like Iron Man, it's got another Avengers Tie-in/recruitment at the end. Iron Man was waaaay cool. Next week, we'll see KungFu Panda and shortly after, Hancock.

Big Brother: I still hope they throw Sylvia out. Vote her out - 09016 16 16 16! Neither of us like her, she's SELFISH. Small-minded, bitchy, two-faced... Kathreya is great though, if she goes any further, she'll just turn into a small pink, fluffy pom-pom Pokemon! I mean, c'mon, her dream is to travel the world and taste cookies in every country. How cool!

Related Quote of the Week: "I am a poh-taaaaa-to! Who wan' a poh-taaaa-to?!" - Just too funny. Thanks!

Friday 13 June 2008

Luck, in all It's Flavours.

So - Friday 13th, unlucky for some? Probably, but I wasn't one of them today. I balanced my till first time AND within 7 minutes - the first time that's ever happened. Lucky for some! Shortly after that, the boss brought in croissants for us as a treat, and then we were presented with crisps and biscuits. Not long after, there were the wonderful scents of roast beef, cider and vanilla coming through the doors as a local fayre set up just opposite our building. I mean, how cruel is that: my Welsh colleague could see and smell the alcohol, but couldn't get it. (Bear in mind this is the same man that, in his spare few moments, will sit making noises like: Chewbacca; a motorbike; a beached whale and even fireworks.) Turns out it was worse for the neighbours though, as their cashier is vegetarian... And right opposite -an ox roast.Unlucky for some.

Mind you, one customer made me laugh. He wandered off after I'd served him, only to come flying in, desperately searching for his wallet. After a few "no, I haven't got it Sir"'s, he sighed, clearly thinking he'd lost it. And then discovered it tucked under his arm. Nice one.

(Image courtesy of http://www.oddee.com/ - another wonderful if-you're-bored-er.)

Today's Quote: "Can you imagine calling through and getting a dead line?" - Colleague, calling deceased probate.

Tuesday 10 June 2008

The End of the World?

We've had floods, we've had fires. I'm waiting for the plague of frogs (do Chav count?) before I can finally call "APOCALYPSE!" and feel validated for it. I mean, surely things are getting weird enough? At just 9 weeks old, Little Dragon is closing in on 10" long already, one customer is convinced they're changing the name of the town to "Tiscerton" (Tesco-Town, yeah ok then...), my work colleague was doing an impressive impression of a fly in a window, a lady tried to credit an umbrella to her bank account and I've just found out I have teleporting/time-travelling receipts. Hank just handed me two reciepts that had turned up in his cupboard from February. I didn't even live here then, and I've never been in his cupboard!

Oh, and my darling partner keeps putting items in reasonable but completely wrong places. I've found the icecubes in the wrong fridge, and we both spent some time looking for the open carton of apple juice, before I turned around and fell about laughing at the juice coyly peeping through the glass door of the cupboard.

Before I forget: Mum, you can get the leaf gelatin in Tesco. I found it!

Quote of the day: "Woah. If you dropped acid, you could get lost in there for weeks!" - Rej, on the completely checkered tiled bathroom of F&Bs.

Sunday 8 June 2008

Fire and Flames!

Well, just got back into the house.

I was sat doing some ironing when George had come flying downstairs "I think I can see smoke..." His Lordship and I shot out and ran up towards the industrial estate which is very near by. Having arrived there, calling the services on the way, we were there only a few moments when the first firetruck hauled up. By this point, ominous whooomphs are issuing from the car yard just over the fence and the firemen were hauling out hoses, trailing them across the road, and dashing through the hedge.

A large group of people was accumulating, when some prat drove over the filling hose. Well, He and I had presence of mind to step into the road and turn traffic around whilst another chap ran to get the "police road closed" signs. A woman stepped out to help and joined in with the insults as another idiot forced his way past us to drive across just as a car came up the cul-de-sac, and realised she was stuck there - the hose was right over the end of the road. Another bloke and I sorted it out to move the hose slightly, put it futher along the middle so cars could turn more easily and for her to get out whilst a bloke in a rugby top yelled at stupid kids trying to get through the hedge: "Can you not hear the explosions?!" Fortunately it's Sunday, so chances of people there is quite slim.

Thank you to all the bright people that stepped in to control this small aspect of the situation - I guess it takes a special sort of mindframe. It cheered His Lordship out of his blue funk anyway. The irony is that Ray Mears is teaching us how to make fire on telly at the same time.

Related Quote of the Day: "Build a man a fire, he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, he'll be warm for the rest of his life." - Terry Pratchett.

Wednesday 4 June 2008

Wet, Washing and Woops...

<--- His drawing of Him getting very wet. He was so soaked, I had to get him a towel. Oh dear. I've just had a moment of genius regarding towel...

I'd done the washing on Sunday, and was puzzled by the amount of tissue fluff in it. You know, when you put hankies through the machine, and it turns into odd squishy balls... I then thought nothing of it, as His Lordship constantly has either a cold or hayfever and didn't consider it until I went to get the washing out of the drier. I was further baffled by the mat of tissuefluff in the filter, and pondered as to whether one of the large towels was moulting (thus causing more fluff).

It's only now that it's dawned on me.
I had also wondered about the somewhat familiar soggy cardboard I'd discovered the same day.

Turns out that when He'd stripped the sheets off the bed, he'd dumped it on a pile of stuff. I picked up the pile of washing off the stuff, didn't check it as it was all whites (and we don't have pockets in our whites) and shoved it in the washing machine.

Turns out there was an entire roll of Andrex in there.
Oops.