Friday 2 November 2012

More stuff I have learned recently...

Today, I learned that cockroaches don't carry oxygen in their blood. I was aware their blood is clear and that they have tubes allowing air to penetrate into the body, but it hadn't occurred to me that they didn't circulate oxygen.

I also learned the Baha'i faith believe that demons are merely metaphors for the worst parts of human imperfection and don't exist in the real or spiritual realms.

I DEFINITELY learned that the FSM has a sense of humour as well as a sense of Karmic Justice. I swear on my own life that I haven't made any of this up - I'm literally crying in pain, I'm laughing so hard.

His Lordship was having a bit of a rant how he never gets a weekend off to do his things and, whilst he appreciates how nice it is of (usually my grandmother!) to invite him to dinner, afternoons out and such, he hasn't had a single Sunday to himself to do his stuff lately.

And midway through this self-same mini-rant, my grandmother called to apologise that she wouldn't be able to offer us dinner after all; my grandfather's new medication is causing him problems and he's gone to sleep it off instead.

At which point he looked thoroughly hard-done by and guilty, cursing "There MUST be a god after all, only the Flying Spaghetti Monster would dick around like this!"

Poor chap. I understood what he was saying though, and he didn't mind too much that I was laughing my ass off at this point, pausing the telly (yay cable TV!) to let me finish hooting.

He came over to apologise and rant a bit more at the ass that is my joker of a god (and by default as a non-deistic Pastafarian, technically his), and as I hugged him and he apologised... the TV spontaneously unpaused itself, randomly selecting a music channel... at the very perfect, precise point where Blink182's singer Tom DeLonge sings... "and I'm so sorry!"

Sending him off in a further ranty "God is a douche!" laughterstorm.

Serves him right. Gifthorse dentistry and all that.

And Hyphen reconfirmed his status as still a loveable idiot.

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