Loathesome Last Week...

Not my finest weekend, I have to admit.

I'm in a bit of a way with a nasty cold. I can taste four things: warm, sweet, sour or snot - which is pretty much comprised of the first three I note. Hurray for the variety of flavours in modern day cardboard. It's got to the point where, when blowing my nose, the tissue is just spreading snot around my face. Not pretty.

It's a bit better on Day Three. Like two european eagle owls have gots stuck up my nose.
It's that fluffy, stuffed, tickly feeling with nasty scratchinessess... just like two owls.

His Lordship has been laughing at me. I got fed up of sneezing all over and went for a shower - reached out and pressed the button - for the button to come off. Do you remember ever playing with Smarties, licking your finger and trying to get them to your mouth before they fell off? It was one of those moments, realising it was stuck to my finger - and then it fell off. Oh dear.

And there's a bizarre movie on that I just DON'T get. There's a man painted metallic green with jewels stuck to him and silver glittered eyes in a white paper house tying rubber dolls in knots, with a another man in purple velvet platforms and lilac velvet leggings peeping in the window, short pink hair fluttering over grey-green eyeshadow... Let's just say it has quite a ZIggy Stardust feel to it. Thanks to Velvet Goldmine on Myspace for providing a somewhat rare image of Johnathan Rhys Meyers in glorious glitter!

We've also discovered Tesco do their own Cheapest, No Frills box of chocolates - for 98p! I have to say, there were quite a lot for under a pound - but they all needed altering slightly to make them properly good. The hazelnut praline was oddly lacking, it needed smashed hazel peices in to be convincing, there were too many yicky coffee ones and the "caramels" were far closer to fudges. Rename them Fudge and I'll believe you. The caramel cluster would have been good, but it needed a soft caramel, like the middle of a Rolo, whilst the hazelnut trio needed whole hazelnuts in. The apricot cream was good, if the flavour a bit too strong and still needed proper bits of dried apricot in for extra whumph. The nougat duo needed a proper SNAP to the chocolate, a simple treatment of cooling it so it cracks properly, whilst the chocolate coconut needed more coconut, less filler. But oh GOD, please, PLEASE fix the so called raspberry and orange creams. They're definitely FONDANTS, and I don't know WHAT you did to the raspberry, but it tastes like... perfumed ARSE. I shudder to recall.

Oh, and I told Him I brought Him home a present in my bag. He went to go get it and came charging back - "YAY! I LIKE BUNS." He was so enthusiastic about the bread rolls, I hadn't the heart to tell him I meant the cookies...

"All that glitters - is gay!" - headline quote from Velvet Goldmine.