DS, Dolphin and Disappearing!

indigo_blue_fish @ hotmail. co. uk

Hmm. Well, I did promise myself I'd get dressed (even though it's a weekend and I'm not going anywhere today). Does underwear and a dressing gown count, or do I have to actually find some other clothes? At least I'm not the only one; my friend went to the shop in her pyjamas with her little girl. Who set off the car alarm, so everyone stared at them. Oops.

Crab Update: The hermits have settled down well in Scotland, and I have just discovered Frankie is still here. Don't ask how that works out. (The photo is Charlie) So Frank will be shipped off to his friends in Scotland shortly. Lewis has been most amused by them, and Charlie has found a new rival by name of EcksBawkes. It's a great name, I have to say. Apparently, EB and Chaz have been having some good scraps, lots of shell clanking and croaking at each other. Well, so long's they're happy!

Another friend's just told me "Well I ain't been dressed with proper clothes since 5pm Thursday!" So this has decided it; I don't have anything to do today, so I shall go out TOMORROW, and completely waste today. Man, it feels good!

I did however discover at 7am that if you accidently sleep on a chunk of pomegranate, it turns your sheets a delicate shade of purple.

I love the noise Kyle makes when eating banana. We've both come to the agreement that if I give him long thin bits, he's not going to bite my thumb. *shlup-shlup-shlup* Also had a fun few minutes blowing raspberries at him. First one he looked at me funny. Second one, he sat up straight and looked at me funny. Third one, he leaned back and looked at me funny. Fourth one, he deliberately turned his back, yawned, and has ignored the rest. Classy. At 28 weeks old, he's already more mature than I am apparently.

My sister drew some fantastic beasties on her computery-toy thing, what is it, a Nintendo something? I can never remember, but all the same, I thought they were great!

Ok, completely forgot to finish this when I fell asleep! So sorry, it's Sunday. Yes, I spent the day doing very little (although I did get the washing done) and it feels good. I watched a movie this morning, luxuriated in my finally-working radiatored warm room and enjoyed a large soggy chocolate cookie for breakfast. Yesyes, I know, not healthy, but I have fruit too. (And let's face it, the big cookie was GOOD.)

Today's Quote/Severely Bitchy Comment: "I still think he's a bit gay and she looks like a man so they should be real happy" - S. Ouch, nicely...

Drama, Dalmations, and "Doosh"...

I spent most of the week chasing up friends who have problems. Who needs a TV when I have such soap-opera-drama going on round me... We've got breakups, makeups, cheaters, lack of responsibilities, haunts, a love SQUARE of all things; it's chaotic at best. But, me being me, I'm stuck in the middle. And, it seems to help some people. Which is never bad. But I had to turn round and tell Ian: "If you stick your head in the sand, leaves your a**e sticking out in the air for people like me to kick, doesn't it?"

I have a correction to put in for my mother, who defends her peculiar issue about popping dogs: "Oh and btw - I am not scared of dalmations - just worried that they might SPLIT."

Well, I had a really good look on the tinterweb, and I haven't yet found any occurences of a dog "splitting like a badly cooked sausage." Sorry Mum. If anyone else finds an example, please don't hesitate to confirm my mother's obscure paranoia, closure always helps. Well, sometimes. Actually Mum, would it help to know if they stand a real chance of tearing open, or not?

Work has provided plenty of, um, entertainment this week. One particular little detail struck me as a little obvious on one of the training programmes. "To save and exit, click Save And Exit." And I was amazed to discover that the new English £20 note (also known as the Adam Smith £20) has got a COPYRIGHT on it! Grab yourself one of those nice, shiny bright purple with lots of holograms ones, and have a look down the left of said holograms, at the little writing in blue. Don't get me wrong, but it's illegal to copy money anyway, so doesn't that make a copyright just a little defunct? Hey, does this mean they can sue forgers?

Recall the lemon of a few days ago? Well, she went one better. What can I say, it's a pumpkin. Niiiiiiice!

And my housemate dropped a bucket of water on the carpet, it made a mighty "DOOSH." (Sounds like a good name for a movie... Taking script ideas now!) Scuse me whilst I go assess the damage to my floor. ... Floor is good. Bucket remained upright, so just some splattering.

Well, I suppose I better get up for a thrilling weekend of waiting in for the gasman this morning, and cleaning the bathroom tomorrow. Unless of course the boiler's repaired and I can either go out this evening, or clean bathroom and go out tomorrow...

Little Dragon Update: (One ponders if it's the dragon that's little, or the update that's little. But then again, that's not important.) Fell off his platform this morning. Made a nuisance of himself on Thursday. Think he thought he was a cat: four times he knocked on the door, four times I opened it to let him out, and four times he changed his mind. But, he did fall asleep on me yesterday, and didn't so much as twitch when I picked him up and sneaked him back into his vivarium. He's still loving his dinners though, big thanks to Rick for some brill bugs! http://www.rickslivefood.co.uk/

Today's Quote: Oh, and lovely Dan... "I've got a big bogey. It's up my nose still. It won't come out."

Lizard, Lunch, Locating (of the Re- kind) and Loafing

Another Sunday, another movie. Bliss in a box, even with the rain. It's not cold this morning, but it's very, very damp outside. Can't complain really, it hasn't properly rained for AGES, but why the week people come to visit me? And what is it with me and waking up at 6.45 every morning though? On a weekend no less...!

Oh, yesterday's quote is by Jack Dee on Lead Balloon; regular reader Coxy slung me an email. Thanks for that!

Actually, I stand corrected. It's very wet and cold outside.
My mother was in hysterics, and wants to steal Eden, and the poor Dragon got used as an action figure. His laid-backness means he's... poseable, like a Barbie doll, just a lot cuter. Silly beastie was happy to just bleg out on the table, as my brother rearranged the position of his legs, head, tail and belly. Daft creature. The dragon too.

Dinner was rather nice, lasagne at Say Pasta again. We weren't so overwhelmed this time, half the stuff on the menu wasn't available (which is a shame, I was really looking forwards to the wild mushroom lasagne) and the waitress was a little... surly. But I did get a lift home from the shops, so I didn't get rained on with my loaf of bread. That was good. On the other hand, the car smelt like fermented egg and beans. Not so good. Exquisite. With extra emphasis on the "Squizz" syllable.

The Hermit Relocation Project went well - Charlie and Sidney are now living in Scotland. "They are both amazing Crabs, easily the most active and friendly of all my existing ones - they happily crawl about humans without any shyness, and are active during the day and night, clambering over everything, and stuffing their faces. On the First night, Sid "Dude" changed into various shells in the course of a few hours, but shortly changed back into his old one and has stuck with it xD I must say though, Charlie's fluffy blonde setae, long antennae and needle-like nails are amazing, he's quite the character xP" Yup Cap'n, sounds like they're very happy with you sir!

Today's Quote: "Roaches are Ewwwwie" - by Eric, from I Now Pronounce You Chuck And Larry.

Family, Fears, Food and "Fritters"...

What a grand start to the day. Woke up at 6am, went back to sleep. Woke up at 10am (Wow!) having had some bizarre dream that I forget. (If you want to read about dreams and seriously wierd postage, try http://www.shrombie.blogspot.com/) I watched a movie, talked to people, didn't manage to hurt myself in any way, shape or form (besides falling over my bin once) and generally enjoyed doing sweet-stuff-all! Hmm. Mr Murphy must be exacting his Sod's Law elsewhere at the moment; makes a nice change! Nothing like a halcyon day to make one look back at others past wistfully. But were they really kingfisher blue?

The GPS in my stepfather's car is a bit optimistic, the ETA is 15:05. Well, it's 14:57 at time of first draft, so will have to let you know.

At the moment, there is Eden snuggled down in my bed, and my dragon has made off with a good portion of my banana and grape lunch. (Who owns who in this thing?) The thumb-biting enthusiasm towards fruit is still there, but he's refined his banana-mushing tactics, and hasn't actually got me today. I'm very impressed. He impressed himself so much, he fell off his platform. Oops. And is now sat on his house, glowering regally at me. (Another of Kat's magnificent shots, sourced from http://www.flickr.com/photos/kitty-kat)

Oh, my father asked me what I wanted for my birthday in January. Needless to say, I'm not sure my choice of gift went down too well.
"You revolting child!!!!!"

All I asked for was for some lobster roaches for Kyle.

"I take it that "lobster roaches" is a nice way of missing the "cock" bit off of "cockroaches" "

Um, yes, that's technically true...

"Please think of something else for your present. Shrunken head, chainsaw, dismembered limb, whatever."

UPDATE 15:04: SatNav has reassigned it's ETA! 15:30...

I have to admit, I was tempted to go to town on such a glamorous offer, but I was boring and just fought my case. I had previously asked for the Klein Bottle (as posted earlier in the year) but I'm not sure that went down too well either. I got a mathmatical equation in response to that one. Mind you, a motorbike chain would be good, for when I can eventually afford a Vespa-scootery thing. Money would be even better, but that's not personal enough. Well heck, stick a bow on a fiver, and I'll be happy! Here, I even did a diagram!

Well, it's 15:29 - time to see if there's anyone arriving yet!

You must excuse my slap-dash typing style this afternoon, I have a lap full of reptile.

What an interesting afternoon. I found out my mother has a fear of dalmations. (My mother is riddled with OCDs and paranoias. One in particular is a fear of "cooties" - such as from shop doors.) Apparently their skins are too tight, and she's worried if someone feeds them too much or leaves one in the sun... Well, she's worried that they might explode. Like a sausage on a barbecue.

We had fun at the restaurant too, it was a French one (Cafe Rouge), and we were making my step-father order for us. He's very, uh, English and tries to handle the foreign words with care. The waiter was very good, didn't bat an eyelid and just quietly repeated the order correctly when he was asked for "Steak Fritters." Turns out it was Steak Frites. I ordered my own, although it would have been funny to try to see him pronounce Penne au Champignons.

Quote of the day: "I hate petty minded people - I keep a list of them" - I have NO idea where this came from. Graham heard it on some TV show, and thought it too good not to pass on. Good lad! (I don't have a TV see!)

Radio, Randomosity and Radioactive?!

Sian's playing more and more wonderful, random music, they did a dedicated night for Bauer on Monday! Sian says she also does Friday Night Lovesongs (10pm to 12am) and Saturdays (8pm - 10pm). May I say, they're great for requests. I've had David Grey, Sail Away and rediscovered Tamsin Archer, Sleeping Satellite. AND she plays plenty of Bauer and Delays music. Listen in! Updates as to station coming up later on.

Although, do be careful - some interesting things get said. I got called "Special" on air today. Much backpeddling went on shortly after, much to my amusement. "Special", in my family, is a way of describing someone a ... bit slow. "Gosh, you're a bit special today." And my personal favourite, (Sorry Daz!) "Who's a special boy then?!" Most amused by the last peddling on air: "She's not Special, she's IBF." C'Mon! Too-rah, loo-rah Aye! Too-rah tooloorah!

Some complete randomness for you, a Bauer is also a drink! You take strawberries, vodka, orange curacao, Rose's Lime juice, pour onto ice, and do long with ginger beer and a slice of lime. Sounds pretty yummy to me!

Extra randomness - see the lemon? <--- I decided it would be a good idea to post it. I got called a "big plum" twice for it, but it got a laugh, so it was worth it. £1.38 postage and all. I just have to think of a way to top that next time. I think finding a lemon in your morning mail is going to be a hard one to beat.

Today's been one of THOSE days. Not only have I come off with six, yes, count 'em, SIX new papercuts (damn those new £20s, they're razor tipped) and haven't been paid. Turns out that in the month I've been working at my new job, no-one thought to tell me that my contract didn't turn up. Riiighto. Well that's pretty clever, seeing as I have PC access, an employee number, training access, went on the courses, have an expenses chit AND have been handling large sums of their money for the company... How on earth do they manage to overlook something like that?

I also had an interesting experience with my nice new microwave. Apparently, I shouldn't cook cauliflower in it, without covering it first. Turns out, the steam and gases this veg kicks out - well, the microwave turns it into plasma, which then creates a rather odd flame. It sort of hovers mid-machine and hums. Needless to say, I thought "Woah, how COOL!" then realised it was probably a better idea to TURN IT OFF and blow it out. My mother was in creases when I told her. Thanks for that vote of confidence. "Hmm, is it Cauliyogi? No! it's Mantraflower!"

The beautiful firework photo is from a local display, another utterly spectacular shot by Kat. http://www.flickr.com/photos/kitty-kat

Today's Quote: "I was just gonna make a joke about how ballet and boxing are the same, 'cept there's no costumes, music, and the dancers hit each other. But that figureskating thing threw me off." - shroom.

Magic and Music and Mayhem and Madness - Marvellous!

This week has been one of poets. Everyone seems to have beautiful or just downright peculiar things to say.

I would like to make a submission of correction to my previous bloggage, apparently "Shroom" is "shroom". shroom says: "Well it would be Mushroom, but I dropped the Mu a long time ago so it's shroom. For that same reason I don't use a capital S; I still am the lovable Mushroom, just with the Mu hiding somewhere behind the scenes." Says it all really!

"Four svelt kings arose from the salty sea of the south and carved my name and yours in the sand along with some brand new lyrics from the pen o the Chief ' so I can drive for I am learning to arrive without damaging the exit sign.' so I'll collect my peices on the way out" - Jon, discussing Delays. Not sure I quite get it, but it makes sense when you take the time to translate it. Oh, and Delays new vid came out too!

Beautiful, extraordinary, so elegantly Delayed. Nice to see "real" people for a change. Thanks boys!

Also, I have a new word. Pungi.
What do you think it means? I'm looking for a definition, a description, however obscure you like. Define pungi in your own way, and sling me it. (Indigo _ blue _ fish @ hotmail . co . uk)

I said: Fresh lemon skins.
shroom says: for some odd reason reminds me of a delicious sponge cake.

Becks says: pungi coz it sounds like pungent, smelly - so it means horrible.

Di says:a musical instrument used by snake charmers. (Some people are so literal!) Or some sort of software.

G says: Publically Undressing Near Green Irons.

T D says: l think its a swear word later on l'll call SB a pungi

Samir says: "That, having had which, nothing else remains to be had." (Trust Samir... I was impressed though, does sound good.)

Puffer says: pungi means: a friend of pingu who is shorter, fatter and wears only a small hat

Rob says: defines when hands thaw

SB says: id say smelly like smelly socks (Must ask if she's been called a pungi yet)
Erkan says: Wow ehm.. it sounds like something squashy

L-bo says: Someone who hadn't washed their genitals for a long time.

Emma says: sort of squishy, rubbery and a bit smelly

Craig L says: I think I would leave it undefined and hide it in my sock drawer.

The lizard has been having a good week for eating different things. Tuesday, I managed to get him to try banana. He discovered bits of banana are very slippery, and you can't get a good hold on them if you're trying to be gentle. So he got a bit enthusiastic trying to take it off me and, suprise surprise, bit my thumb. Banana was tasty though. Shortly after, he decided the writing on my shirt looked tastier, so grabbed it and pulled and pulled. Took him a while to realise it wasn't going to come off to eat, then he climbed in my collar, clicked his teeth in my ear a few times, dug around my shoulder a bit, and went to sleep. (I also got the wrong sort of lasagne, had to brave the housemate's oven, and promptly spilt water all in my bed. Brings a new meaning to "wet dreams" hey?)

Wednesday, he discovered the delights of apples (again) and yesterday went nuts for some brocolli. Brocolli isn't very good for them, but it's high in vitamin C, and looks sort of fluffy, and got thoroughly shredded and yomped. Today he's got carrot - nearly a whole stick has vanished inside that reptile...

There was an... interesting lady as customer at my work. For some reason, with a large queue as audience, she took it upon herself to sing "All men are praaaaats!" Very loudly. Repeatedly. Opera style. Who said banking was boring?

Quote of the day: "I've got that serpents tongue so honey rolls down like morning dew. You see, I used to be a little klepto and a little schizo. More hands than one probably should have." -shroom. Bonus points for utter oddness!

Time Taken Training

It's been a surreal time. Lots of very strange things have happened this week, but now things are a whole lot clearer and I have me some very good friends.

The dragon has been in high spirits, turn out he likes pomegranates too. Rare treat, but he ate two and a half seeds. Oh, and he just headbutted his shadow on the wall trying to eat it. He also discovered he likes apples this morning, I was eating one and he decided he wanted in on the crunchy action, so I had to share. I tried to get a photo, but he ran off with it. Munched three reasonable chunks before he got bored of that, but sour apples are pretty good. When I popped him back in his house and picked up a bug to feed him, he was a little bit enthusiastic: He leapt off his platform, scrabbled across his plant, THREW himself on my hand, scrabbling up my fingers, and lunged for the roach. Missed and bit my thumb. Thanks.

He also made a valiant attempt to eat one of the shrimp in my axolotl's tank. Potted (the shrimp) was clearly amused, and confident in the knowledge that the glass and water would probably do a good job of keeping him safe.


The course was all good too, learned a lot and had an interesting time to say the least. I'm so glad I wasn't silly enough to go for a hangover on test day lol. Even with the knock-door-runners and two-and-a-half hours sleep, I came off with a 59/65. Not great, but better than I thought, considering I fell asleep on my paper. Oh gosh yes and I was trying to revise for the exam, I had everything sent up by room service (I could get used to having an expenses account...), I had roast tomato soup with creme fraiche and basil, then best local ham, eggs and chips with mushrooms fried in a special garlic butter (I have the recipe somewhere, will look for that), and then cinnamon, raisin and apple pie with whisky custard! Oh yumness. And the steak, you would not believe the steak. Medium-rare, with thyme-roasted carrots, and MASSIVELY chunky chips. I stuffed myself silly every day there. (I'm not obsessed by food, just very nice food.) And the sunsets... Well, see for yourself. This is out of the window of the training rooms.

And yes Mum, as always your words of wisdom hold true. I'm still single, but that's ok. I do however have a lizard sitting on my head - SITTING I emphasise for those that misread things - and a good friend. See folks, you should listen to Mums, they're very wise. If you don't like yours, try mine, she's the best. She's lots of people's second-mum now. "Aloo aloo ping ding -that's baked potato where you think it's ready but you have to put it back in for a little while longer." - the brand of wisdom unique to my extraordinary mother. That discussion got a bit silly after a while, didn't it.

Thanks to G for doing an um, grand job of explaining what went wrong in the match. Not sure that made things easier to see, but have a go for yourself:

"the square is the other team person. the X are me and steve on the same side. the little lines are the goal. the first green arrow shows where the shot was going. black arrow shows the way i wentlower green arrow shows what actually happened as a result"
Does that make things clearer?

Also, a big shout to the strange child by my friend's local shop. "He doin' it with a lawn mower with a mask on as his guy lol... i just had to give hime something for the originality" You what? Sounds like autoerotica if you ask me. Turns out the kid was doing penny-for-the-Guy. That's a relief.

Sian introduced me to her radioshow on StreamRadioLive (<--- clickable) and I in turn introduced SRL to the wonders of Bauer. You should have seen the video further back in my blog of "Connected", but if you don't know who they are, then read The Bauer review here. Here's a little excerpt for those too lazy to go a-lookin'. "Greg Matthews fallen-angel vocals and Mikey's insouciant guitars summon the sublime, and the song is driven with great optimistic urgency by rhythm hub Neil Treppas (Bass) and Lee Bradbury (Drums)."

I managed to get a quick little chat with Mikey Guitar himself the other evening, and he gave me these comments to post: "I was thinkin' 'bout summat for ages last nite - would I rather die slowly after midgets had cut my p***s off slowly and eaten it for their tea... Or would I rather be forced to attend a Mika concert and then listen to his album every day in a Ford Mondeo driving to my job as an accountant? I realised i`d rather die." One could say Mr Guitar finds them distasteful and corporate then. I also got given a doodle to reinforce said comment.

Just so you know, Sians show on SLR is today, 3-4pm, and then Monday 8-10pm. I'll be listening in, as I know many other people are, and some evenings she does dedications. Thanks very much for the pure nostalgia value (and sheer CHEESE) of "Tiger Feet". I'm mildly embarrassed, but it is such a funky song.

Talking of nostalgia, I was trying to remember the songs from Mary Poppins the other day with Graham. Don't ask. We end up talking about such strange things. "Early each day to the steps of Saint Paul's, the little old bird woman comes. In her own special way to the people she calls, come, buy my bags full of crumbs... Tuppence, tuppence, tuppence a bag." Even though I don't have a TV, I hope they play it on Boxing Day. Whole generations would be missing out on this classic otherwise. Oh, and Chitty-chitty-bang-bang. Great stuff.

Quote of the WEEK: "I don't like people beating around the bushes, the sounds of leaves moving annoys me." - Shroom.

Yars, m'off to bed to hunt under the pillows and search the mattress and forage the sheets and check under the bed and peep behind the headboard, see if I can find this rare and elusive item they call "sleep". Let me know as soon as you find it, won't you?