Introverts

Too much for the scales

I may have mentioned previously that we can hear pretty much everything through the walls of this rented property. I may also have commented on the fact that the neighbours have gone and bought one of their kids what I assume is a clarinet. And that it sounds like an elephant farting in the bathtub.

Well, it's now three weeks later, with 20 minutes practise every day - varying between five pm and ten pm - and I can't say there's a huge amount of improvement. I managed to record this in our bedroom and the only things I have done to it are to remove the odd silences that lead you into a blissful, false "Thank FSM, they've STOPPED!", some of the background noise, like me desperately trying not to snigger, then failing and killing myself laughing, at the end. I think they heard that bit, as they suddenly quit playing fails. Uh, I mean, scales.

You can listen here - but it's not pretty.

Quote of the Day: "There's no way to spell it. Especially not that one - I don't know, it... it just makes me cry. So much pain in my ears." - Himself.

Castles in the sky - for now

So plans are going pretty well for the purchase of our new house - the pre-contract paperwork arrived yesterday and I'm asking my solicitor to push it through as fast as possible. I want out of here and into my new slice of heaven.

It'll be nice to have a consistently temperatured electric shower once more, and I'm really looking forwards to introducing the dragons to the cool P shaped bath with the sideways taps. Not to mention the prewarmed towels from the curved chrome towel holding radiator. That's going to be a massive win for dragons and humans!

I'm struggling to find the right water feature though. I particularly liked the design of the Wheaton Planter Cascade, and was dismayed to discover that it's a pathetic 41cm wide. However, I've got chatting to a couple of steel fabricators, and they think they can make me something similar in the size I want!

This is a sample of the stranded bamboo flooring I was going on about in the previous post. You gotta admit, it is pretty darned lovely. My nan lent me her rolling pin to give it a good bashing with. I'm rather pleased to say the wood held up lovely, even when I stabbed it with an old kitchen knife - a quick damp and you couldn't even see the mark. The carbonising treatment means the bamboo is brown all the way through, not just a stained surface.

El Diablo de Dorito

A little monkey told me someone (two of his friends whom teamed up) had bought Himself a copy of Diablo III - and as a result, I was likely to be bereft of a boyfriend for some time.

But - as you guys know - I don't mind a little quiet time to get on and do my own thing. It's one of the reasons we work well together. That and I can turn it to my advantage, making his mates insanely jealous of his "awesome gf".

That's 56 cans of energy drink, cheesy Doritos and dips.

Kichen, Cupboard, Quandry.

To our landlord:

 As opposed to your ... effort of putting standard tv aerial in just the two smaller bedrooms, we upgraded your building to have cable tv access in the main bedroom.
 Oh, and I fixed your faulty shower.
 And we repaired the garden gate.
And the broken kitchen lights.
And the plague of ants.
We aren't staying much longer, and I can't fix the slug problem. Sorry.
 Otherwise, you're welcome.

No updates on the house purchase yet, other than my mortgage valuers are due to arrive on Thursday. I'm currently driving myself batty looking at different kitchen designs, and ordering samples of worksurfaces and floorings - I've discovered a lovely carbonised stranded bamboo flooring I would like

Stranded bamboo is extremely tough - I gave the sample a good thump with the corner of a woodblock to mimic a dropped item and it barely even dinked. It's been compared to ironwood for its strength. Better yet, it's much more sustainable than its alternative hardwoods - rather than the 50 - 100 years normally required, stranded bamboo fibres can be grown and ready in just 5 - 7 years.

The carbonised (or caramelised) bamboo is a little softer, but it looks pretty darned lovely.
http://www.onlinebamboofloor.co.uk/Caramel_strand.htm

Fortune cookie predictions...

You remember I said we liked this other house? We went and looked at it yesterday - and we still like it. The travertine bathroom, the curvy chrome towel radiator and the P-bath still rocks it for me, and I can see so much I can do in the little garden.

So this morning, I decided to start low and sent in an offer I knew they'd never accept. We have been fortunate enough to land Mr Holland to help us, (senior partner of http://www.bmhestateagents.com/) - he is a genius, whom has taken somewhat of a shine to us.

As expected, the vendor didn't want £57,000 when the house was already reduced to £66,500 - but Mr Holland (after laughing and saying he saw what we were up to) had a good barter with them on my behalf, helping us secure an offer of just £58,500. This is seriously good news, as it means I can afford to drop my mortgage to £45,000, which ensures it will go through even if the valuation comes back terrible, and leaves us money over for doing the kitchen too.

It's all gotta go well from here - His Lordship opened a fortune cookie whilst I was out. It said: "Any rough times are behind you." I know it's true - I found a key lime cheesecake. Better yet, it was reduced to just £1!

Look at all that panelling!

Definite second thoughts about the Fletcher property.

That's a SERIOUS amount of work it needs doing, and I'm not convinced I can afford it. I don't like the house as much as His Lordship either...

I don't like false walls, and this place is riddled with them, as the extension is in metric and the house imperial. And the panelling - oh god, the panelling!

We are going back to look at the house we originally liked just before we moved up here - the one I mentioned the other day, that needs less work and costs less. Fingers crossed.

In other news, the dragons are being sickeningly cute today. Mocha has decided she will move in with Sandy, Sandy is busy using her as a pillow, Tsam went to bed a whole half hour early (and tucked himself in) and Jam is just being a cutie pie, snuggling up for hugs.

Quote of the Day: "You know, that film with Vinne Jones and Jason Stepham, what's it called, two pints of lager and a packet of crisps." - Gemma. So near, so far.

Good Deeds?

I'm not certain I want to buy the house we're after any more.

Long story short, the vendors can't find the deeds and, if the bloke they're trying to contact on Friday can't remember (as he was the man in charge of selling off HUNDREDS of council houses) it's going to require a whole new drawing up of deeds - which could take ages.

I'm actually hoping they can't find them - I've seen a house I like better - and that requires less work. However, it's not such a nice area, so my grandmother isn't keen...

Mind, if these property deeds can't be found (and the building permits for the extension, as they can't find any authorised planning permissions), Nan might be tempted to let me switch.

As I mentioned, the other house I prefer has good electrics and plumbing, doesn't require the bathroom ripping out and all the walls redoing. It needs a new kitchen and some damp course treatment, but as we are planning so much work for the first place, it makes a whole lot of sense to swap.

Oh, and did I mention it's 15,000 cheaper? 

Quote of the Day: I know a guy who's drug addiction got so bad he ended up sniffing washing powder. He's been clean for three years now. - Al

Top Teeth

As many of you know, I'm not a fan of needles. Or pointy things. And dentists have oh such a variety of pointy things, needles and probes and drills and all such unpleasantnesses.

Now, I'm a tough cookie - I've sweated it out and put up with it when I've had to go to the dentists each time. It's a fact of life and you just have to put up with it. I'm also fortunate enough to have rather strong teeth - 26 years old and I still haven't had a single filling - see?

And I don't intend to start any time soon. Yeah, you've probably noticed the weird white stuff in the grooves of my molars.

My dentist understands I don't like medical procedures so, after discussing thoroughly and agreeing my teeth are actually in reasonable condition, he was happy to proceed with this slightly unorthodox treatment.

That white stuff is actually a special dental sealant - it's designed to coat the tops of the molars like a varnish,  protecting your teeth against invading bacteria and food particles that cause caries, which lead to cavities - for up to ten years. It also gives your teeth time to remineralise, as the surface is protected from wear and tear.

Most people don't know that the grooves in their back teeth are actually much deeper and thinner than they appear, so much so in fact, that very few toothbrush bristles will ever be able to get in there to properly clean. That's why most people get cavities in their back teeth first.

Having the treatment done was relatively painless and VERY quick - I saw the hygienist first to have them cleaned and descaled, before having a wash of "etching" fluid - phosphoric acid over the selected teeth. Not only did this allow the tooth to be totally cleaned and dried, it meant the coating would stick better. The coating was applied with a syringe, and then a UV sterilising setter was applied.

The end result is this whitish smooth covering - it feels a little like I have been chewing on a candle and got wax stuck in my teeth. But it will be well worth it, such a little work for ten years preventative against further dentistry.

After all, my choices are these teeth, or fake ones. And I think I like my own.

Does expecting better really make me a Grammar Nazi?

I worry that, in attempting to appeal to the lowest common denominator, that the entertainment industry is dumbing down TOO much. Irony has been lost to the masses - or worse, become confused with sarcasm. People no longer understand what "bemused" means, thinking it a suitable alternative to "amused".

To quote a friend, "In our efforts to ensure that no man is left behind, we are setting lower and lower standards for ourselves. The implications of that for future generations is frightening."

Don't get me wrong - language should be a live, thriving creature evolving in new and interesting ways - for example, the irony mark is quickly becoming renamed the "snark" which, for me, is almost onomatopoeic and a wonderful proto-word, not to mention the "interrobang"! (Look it up - you can thank me later.)

However, having said that, I firmly stand by my belief:; we should not let the standards slide. I'm hardly perfect when it comes to grammar (I'm well aware of this) but I always make the effort to be readable - to be understood. And it strikes me that today's attempts at communication are becoming...

Well. Here's a "tipicle" example composed from a variety of posts I've seen on Failbook recently - "Spose she nos she realy realy gota get leaks 2 go wiv da onions bit earlia tomorow " This one makes for an odd visual too: "crossed my knives over my folks".

Doesn't that make you wince, just a little bit?

I understand that the subtleties of English sarcastic humour is lost on the American, it's too dry and delicately understated for them - but for goodness sake, we shouldn't pander to their requirements. Let's educate the poor saps on what they're missing! We need to have the thrill of learning, the choice to aspire to the better, to look up to those whom are more intelligent than we... And one writer at the BBC agrees with me - we can do better.

If we don't do something soon Idiocracy (2006) will become a reality. 

Relevant Quote of the Day: Grammar; the difference between knowing your sh*t and knowing you're sh*t. - Leigh-ann.

Bleh!

I'm rather impressed with my smartypants lizards this week.

Sandy "Ampersand" Dragon has figured out how to make her heating turn up on demand - she has been digging at the thermostat probe so that it sits in the middle of her floor. When she thinks she's a bit chilly, she wanders over and plonks her cold belly on it. It's not a particularly comfortable way to sit, but it turns the lamp right up to full until she's warmed to 98 degrees all the way through!

Jam's worked out that if she's extra cute, she gets more attention - and has taken to sitting and pulling this face.

Tsam's also upgraded his method of movement on the slippery laminate floor. Normally, running at high speed causes your legs to escape from under you and result in a fairly hard landing, a failed braking system, or a spectacular powerslide when you try to turn corners. Well, my bright lad has found a remarkable solution to this - instead of running, he throws himself forwards and sort of... powerboards along the floor on his belly, a bit like tobogganning. He picks up an admirable speed too.

On the other hand, His Lordship appears to be having a time of it lately.
Him : "It's got very dark in here..."
Me: That's because you shut the curtains but didn't turn the light on."
Him: "Oh..."
BLEH

Whelmed.

Wow. Just... wow.
I was looking for an interesting evening class, and found a course to earn a Masters in Jewellery Arts (over a two year period). I was delighted, as I was searching for classes near me. I was less impressed when I found out where this class is held.

 ...

 ...

 Australia.

Message for Mum: His Lordship loves his, uh, unique gift. It's warm and comfy and snuggly apparently.

Quote of the Day: "I got a new stick deodorant today. The instructions said: remove cap and push up bottom. I can barely walk but whenever I fart the room smells lovely." - Al.

Bring it on, you funky acronym.

CISPA allows ISPs, businesses and intelligence agencies to monitor and/or intercept your Internet traffic, granting companies more leeway when it comes to collecting and sharing data about their consumer. The main concern is that it could end up paving the way for copyright holders to begin policing the net - in the eyes of the MPAA, copyright violations ARE a security threat.

Oh, yes, that means exactly what you think it means. Hello ACTA2 - a.k.a "Whack-a-mole: now with added legislation!" Silence is surrender. Show your disapproval for the restriction of internet freedom HERE.

I am part of the Internet Freedom Movement - and you're very welcome to join us. We already took down SOPA.

Nice nibbles

Would anyone like a free box of snack treats?

Graze are awesome, they send tasty boxes of surprisingly healthy snacks in the post as many times a week as you like - cake, fruit, nuts, crackers, breads, dips... Just right for the 3pm munchies.

I've just got my first one through the mail - I have a cherry tomato, basil and pesto focaccia, white choc raspberry "cheesecake" mix box (raspberry, choc, hazelnuts and cranberry), a honeycomb crunch mix (milk choc honeycomb, almonds and sultanas) and an "Apple Cosmo" mix (apple, lime, sultanas and cranberries).

And I have to say - oh my FSM! That bread's unnaturally tasty. It's the Graze cherry tomato, pesto and basil focaccia (well, half of it. I ate the other half already!) and it is fab. AND healthy, which is weird, because it tastes really, really good! It's so soft too.

I have dried apple slices with toffee sauce dip on the way in my next box, and I ordered an "afternoon tea" of lemon poppyseed cake and a special blend tea for the one after, ooh, and orange and ginger flapjack for the one after that...  Awesomesauce!

So yeah, if you go to www.graze.com and use my freebies code: NLBV93VC you can get your own Graze box, absolutely free, even postage.

With no obligation. Just free nommage.

If you DO like them, it's £3.95 a box. They come with free postage - the boxes are recycled and recyclable, and you can have it delivered to work. You can have them sent out on the same day every week, or two days, or throw an extra box in whenever you like.

Offer open to all, so go nuts. And fruit. And dips. And chocolate... Mmmm.

Material Girl?

Holy wow. Somewhere along the line, I've got a LOT of stuff.

I have managed to accumulate eight occupied vivariums, a washing machine, a drier, a fridge freezer, a telly, a BIG bed and a spare bed, a standing lamp, a dining room table with chairs, a kettle, a microwave, an ironing board... and most horrific of all, my own vacuum cleaner.  Which I'm oddly proud of...

I also treated myself to one of THESE. I've been eyeing up steam cleaners for a while as everyone knows mopping is a PITA, especially with laminate floors. Vax have their new one on special offer - £99.99, free delivery, does tile, sealed laminate AND wood, three free bottles of cleaner (£5 a time), two free cleaner pads (£15.99 a time - washable) and two free microfibre pads (£6.99, also washable).

 That did it for me - yes please - and I just discovered I can ziz my carpets and rugs with it too.

Mind you, I'm really looking forwards to putting  proper secure roots down, and not having to move any more - and not having to put up with coldboilingcoldhotcoldwarmcoldboilingcoldlukewarm showers.

I had the day off, so I went with the plumber to have another look at the house I'm buying - mostly so I could have a neb round at my biggest investment so far, and so he could tell me the bad news on the boiler there.

As suspected, it needs replacing. And the heating is all gravity feed - so it needs replacing. And the boiler vent is illegally placed into the neighbours yard, so the boiler position needs moving. And there's a ridiculous amount of false walls, hiding the piping - so the pipes need moving.

I don't know what it is about false walls but they make me uncomfortable, especially when they're not actually required. One has a radiator on and is about three inches from the actual wall, creating a creepy, cobwebby space. That's going. The other makes an odd cupboard and this horrid nook for a fridge - that's going. Another is to hide the fact that the extension is in decimal and the kitchen is in imperial measurements. I don't care - that's going too. I might just make the false walled doorway into an archway to the kitchen instead. False walls make me shudder and itchy.

Once all the false walls are off/down and the plumbing started, I need to get the electrician in. The whole lot is pre-1900s, including bakelite switches and an antique fuseboard. It all needs ripping out and replacing to bring it to code, especially as I have all my vivariums relying on a good sturdy circuit. (Talking of which, I need to work out where to put a dozen new sockets too.)

I'm looking forwards to taking a sledge hammer to the false walls and that ugly, ugly fireplace.

As I haven't done one for a while, here's Today's Quote of the Day - "I have an enormous dong." - From the wonderful Mr Stephen Fry on QI, discussing Lonely Hearts ads.