Sunday, 14 December 2008

Office Ownage (or - Daily Drudgery)

Finally it's starting to get cold down South - whilst they've had storms and blizzards and snowmen up North home, it's just dropping below freezing, sprinkling a little frost here and there. (Image of "fire rainbow - light catching on atmospheric ice crystals. All over Google.) Which has actually made the pedestrian bridge over by Tesco's into a deathtrap of slippery proportions! It's turned into something reminiscent of the Doncaster Dome Ice Skating rink. For those not familiar with this bizarre beauty of cold, this is two seperate rinks on different levels, joined at either side by steep, icy slopes.

Great fun, if you're either a good skater or don't mind risking your neck. But not great fun when it's a pedestrian bridge. I'm embarrassed to tell you I slipped over with a thump and gave myself a stiff hip for the last three days. But then again, I was reading (I know, I read and walk very successfully normally) and didn't see the black ice. The council put me on hold and put me through to highways, the highways put me on hold... and put me to the council. Hmm.

I think it may be looking like one of those weeks - work has gone chaos as well. We've just had the new targets released and they're all insane. They want us to reduce our lending from 31% to 10% - but they want 15% of the diary to be lending. What? This could be interesting. They've also upped my savings targets 50% and savings material isn't easy to find at the best of times. You see, we're now supposed to open 29 savings accounts. "No problem!" I hear you say - yeah, but that's not weekly, this is DAILY.

I see several problems with this (and have passed them up the chain of command) including some rather astronomical problems. We don't get enough non-savings customers to do that many. Nor do we have enough staff to do that many. Or enough stationary to last us more than a few days if we DID do it. I'm sorry, but in the current financial climate, people aren't much fussed by the UK-wide poor savings rates, prefering to pay off their bills as it's more economical. What do you want - the equivalent of 2%, or 18.5%? Methinks I have been Office Pwnd. (image unknown)

Related Quote: "Six hundred million pounds spent on knobs and knockers. Oh, and doornumbers as well!" - The home show.

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