Yowch, Yum and Yuck.

Oh.
My friend Nige got shot.
He says: "It's long story involving a pikey, a traffic cone and a large bottle of JD..."

Turns out he'd gone to a bike show with some friends, had a drink with them, and was walking around with a cone he'd found. A drunk pikey arrived on the scene. (Stephen Fry, yes, the famous bloke, describes Pikeys as people who "go out on the town, beating people up and drinking Bacardi Breezers.")

Pikey wanted cone, Nige said no. They had a bit of a yell about it, the pikey hit him a few times, Nige got cross and beat him silly as the pikey-mates tried to jump him too.

This sort of escalates as it goes, to the original one pulling a gun, shooting six times, missing five and getting Nige in the leg with the last one. Fortunately, Nige's mate is an army medic, so Nige's now patched, stitched, and admiring the slug. He says "being shot hurts". At least he'll be alright now. Just take it easy yeah? (Thanks to GANMSafety for their cones)

I'm very amused though, one of the people I talk to regularly was having pancakes last night, and made me a pancake ... I'm not sure how to describe it. Would it be a collage, or a mural? But anyway, Vista threw a paddy when I tried to get a screenshot to show you all, so I had to sketch it instead. I've never been given a message in breakfast-stuffs before. Um, thanks, I guess...

Today's Top Tip: "Never, ever roll in dead seal - the stench is NOT worth it."

Quote for today: "If I told the boys I kissed a model, d'ya think they'd be impressed?" - BNA
"Not when it's a toy motorbike." - Me.